1. This is going to be a giant pain in the ass regardless of the legality of the right of way. Considering that this is a lease, it will probably be way more trouble than it is worth.

2. A lot of easements apply only to the owner of the land that needs access. In other words, the woman you leased the land from has no right to allow you to use the easement if the easement only applies to her. It is even more complicated when she is a co-owner of the land where the easement is located.

I would tell the woman her husband is denying access to the land and demand your money back. Public land will be less aggravating than your situation.