Sounds to me like there's alot of folks that don't want you to go. All last week my mom was in the hospital and wasn't doing too good. I didn't say anything about because that's not really me. The only reason I'm mentioning it now, is to say this. These guys helped me get through it whether they knew it or not. Sounds like to me this is exactly the place you need to be.

For without victory, there is no survival