Sounds to me like you are depressed. I would seriously look into seeing a doctor for it and possibly get some meds until you can work on the source of that depression. You need some things in your life to look forward to, some goals to reach. You can do absolutely anything you've a mind to do. You just might need some help doing it. There's no shame at all in asking for help. That's what a man does when he can't do by himself the things he wants and needs to do.

The meds won't be to fix the problem,just help you with the symptoms and give you more energy and hope to get busy fixing the problem.

All I'm saying is that you sound to me like a man that needs hope and goals for a better future, rather than just seeing yourself continuing in the same stale grind.You can get out of this slump and feel different.