December 15th will be one year since I lost my Dad. But I think I dread opening day of gun season far worse than the one year anniversary. As the different hunting seasons have come and gone it's like I had to admit to myself that he's really not going to be here to hunt with me. Gun season is the last one. I know it sounds silly but in the back of my mind I keep hoping that I'll drive up to his house and he'll walk out on the front porch to greet me and Brody and it'll all have been a bad dream.

Being a true "Daddy's girl" I've learned a lot about myself in the last year. Including just how much I depended on him. That man never let me drag, gut or cut up a single deer. "Let me get it for you, baby," he'd say. And there I was a grown woman. He taught me how to do it myself but then he always did it for me...LOL My husband is definitely there to help me with anything I need but just knowing I can't call my Dad to help me track a deer or just text him from the tree stand to share a joke I heard - it's just tough.

Back in the Spring, I went on my first solo turkey hunt and called up my first gobbler on my own. I knew he was looking down and smiling from ear to ear. Maybe he'll send me that ole' ghost buck that I've been hunting for the past three years.

I will say that peculiar things seem to happen to me in the woods now that he's gone - from a red-winged blackbird perching on the end of my shotgun barrel to a red-tailed hawk flying down into the tree just a few feet away from my tree stand. Some people might think it's crazy but I know it's him in some way. The outdoors was so ingrained in who my Dad was and now it's that deep in my heart as well. And Brody....well as long as that child lives my Daddy will never truly die. He's a little Joe all over again.

Last Thanksgiving, I had a tremendous drive to be in the woods with my Dad. Even my husband commented that he'd never seen me hunt that hard. I just wanted to get out there & I couldn't really explain it. Dad and I hunted together almost every day that week - most twice a day & had such an awesome time. A week later he was in the hospital and never made it back home. Just goes to show that when your gut is telling you something you should listen and never take those times for granted.

I suppose it will get better with time. But one year really hasn't made things any easier on my heart. I just hope I can make him proud this season and bring home the meat and maybe even some horns.

Sorry to be such a downer but I guess I just needed to get out my thoughts for my own sake. I appreciate y'all allowing me to do that. I hope one day I'll be half the hunter my Dad was. When it came to being a woodsman - he was truly one of the best.