Velvet
by Mbrock. 04/28/24 09:16 PM
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Embarrassing stories
#860729
02/12/14 07:02 PM
02/12/14 07:02 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456 Harpersville, AL
tfd1224
OP
14 point
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OP
14 point
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
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I like a good ole embarrasing story every now and then. Here's mine. I downloaded what I thought was a really funny ringtone to my phone and kinda forgot about it. I went over to my neighbors house on my 4 wheeler to ask him about something. My neighbor is a really really religious and straight laced guy, home schools his kids etc. as we are sitting there talking I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket and I say hold on a second, then this British butler type voice comes over my phone and says " someone is endeavoring to contact you, shall I tell them to fu** off?" I think I turned 50 shades of red. I immediately went home and deleted that ringtone. Keep em coming
Yeah c’mon. Daniel White
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860735
02/12/14 07:05 PM
02/12/14 07:05 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,982 Brierfield
Beadlescomb
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,982
Brierfield
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I shucks and pissed my pants from laughing at a buddy falling out of a boat
Come to think of it that sum bitch falls out of the boat all of the time. Usually a sign we are going to get on some fish
Last edited by Beadlescomb; 02/12/14 07:10 PM.
We will burn that bridge when we get there
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860743
02/12/14 07:08 PM
02/12/14 07:08 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211 North Alabama
Wiley Coyote
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
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Had a ringtone that was an East Indian voice thing...."Bing bing-ding ding-hello-good bye-thank you-bing bing" and it rang when I was paying at a dang convenience store with a dot Indian behind the counter It was actually funny as Hell now that I think about it. Had another one that was gunshots with a few ricochet sounds. It rang while I was in a meeting in a conference room on Redstone. Everybody just laughed. That one actually kinda embarrassed me.
I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.
NRA Life Member
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860747
02/12/14 07:11 PM
02/12/14 07:11 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643 Pisgah Al
Bigbamaboy
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
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That's pretty good. I was goin to start this thread the other day and you beat me to it.
When I was about ten years old, I was out entertaining my self with a can of black spray paint. Idk what I was thinkin but i wrote some profanities on a huge stump in our back yard. I was going to paint over them, but due to a short attention span i was off to something else. Latter on that day my parents had some friends over. One of them goes walkin into the back and bust out laughing. I soon realized what the fuss was about. Whoops.
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860756
02/12/14 07:17 PM
02/12/14 07:17 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,431
MattIce
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,431
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Haha. Here's one of mine. Back in school towards the end of the day between the last two classes of the day I went to take a piss. After being up all night I was half asleep and somehow forgot to unzip my pants. I pissed all over myself and didn't realize it till I got to my next class and the whole class began to smell piss. Was a rough evening.
Parked in a holler, beneath the mountain moon light.
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860763
02/12/14 07:20 PM
02/12/14 07:20 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643 Pisgah Al
Bigbamaboy
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
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It wasnt me, but the ringtones reminded me of a funny story. We were at work one day and for some reason were at an alternator shop in Rainsville. The owner is a super nice guy and is very conservative. He has a sign up in his store that reads something along the lines of " No profanity, respect others, no dirty jokes etc." well one coworker sends another one a text while we are standing in a crowd of men. When he opens it a funny voice screams out " hey everybody look, I have gay porn on my cell phone, no look, really I have lots of gay porn on my cell phone".
The guy who opened the text is easily embarrassed and he panicked. He couldn't turn the message off and it just kept playing till he just ran outside. I was in tears.
Last edited by Bigbamaboy; 02/12/14 07:22 PM.
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860770
02/12/14 07:25 PM
02/12/14 07:25 PM
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 23,919 Clarksville, TN /Greenville, ...
bill
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 23,919
Clarksville, TN /Greenville, ...
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Met a guy from Selma that started working at the grocery store I worked at. I started telling him about this crazy girl I met that lived there and how nuts she was. Turned out it was his sister.
"Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles" - Bauvard
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860771
02/12/14 07:26 PM
02/12/14 07:26 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211 North Alabama
Wiley Coyote
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
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Another ringtone.....reminded me of a friend who's teenage son downloaded some ringtones on his Dad's phone and assigned them to different incoming calls. A few days later we were at work, in a building with suits and ties present, and this guy gets a call " Hey you no good child support skipping son-of-a-bitch" ......He turned every shade of red in the color spectrum and ran outside apologizing the whole way
Last edited by Wiley Coyote; 02/12/14 07:27 PM.
I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.
NRA Life Member
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: bill]
#860775
02/12/14 07:29 PM
02/12/14 07:29 PM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643 Pisgah Al
Bigbamaboy
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
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Met a guy from Selma that started working at the grocery store I worked at. I started telling him about this crazy girl I met that lived there and how nuts she was. Turned out it was his sister.
Could have been a lot worse. She could have been good lookin and...
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860790
02/12/14 07:44 PM
02/12/14 07:44 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211 North Alabama
Wiley Coyote
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
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A friend of mine in hardware sales went to a trade show in Shreveport back about 1980. Checked it at a hotel and there was a fine little lady working the desk. He checks in, cleans up, comes down to flirt and see where it goes. They end up going to dinner and back at the hotel, in the elevator he's kissing her and reacher under her skirt. She's got more junk than him. Claimed he stopped the elevator and beat the Hell out of "it". I guarantee if it had happened to me there would only be 2 people that EVER knew about it
I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.
NRA Life Member
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860792
02/12/14 07:46 PM
02/12/14 07:46 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,956 Round ‘bout there
Clem
Mildly Quirky
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Mildly Quirky
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,956
Round ‘bout there
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In high school I was working at our grocery store stocking eggs. The mortician in town was coming up the aisle. A nice, Christian man. Proper, as you might expect a funeral home owner to be.
"Good evening," he said.
Out of habit I said:
"Hey, Mr. Peck! How're you doing? Been busy lately?"
It was like the world stopped turning for about 4.3 seconds as what I said literally sunk into my brain and then warped around reason. He merely smiled as I stammered a breathless apology and said, "That's OK. I hear that a lot from my friends. Fortunately, we haven't been lately."
"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter
"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013
"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860802
02/12/14 07:54 PM
02/12/14 07:54 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,956 Round ‘bout there
Clem
Mildly Quirky
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Mildly Quirky
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,956
Round ‘bout there
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Foot, mouth, the entire shebang.
"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter
"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013
"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: Wiley Coyote]
#860884
02/13/14 02:19 AM
02/13/14 02:19 AM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,408 Irvington, AL
sethjamtoe
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,408
Irvington, AL
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Had a ringtone that was an East Indian voice thing...."Bing bing-ding ding-hello-good bye-thank you-bing bing" and it rang when I was paying at a dang convenience store with a dot Indian behind the counter It was actually funny as Hell now that I think about it. Had another one that was gunshots with a few ricochet sounds. It rang while I was in a meeting in a conference room on Redstone. Everybody just laughed. That one actually kinda embarrassed me. I used to have the gunshot one too....until I was standing in line at the bank and someone called me! I promptly deleted that ringtone! ha ha ha
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: BamaBart]
#860893
02/13/14 02:29 AM
02/13/14 02:29 AM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,832 Buc-ee’s Beach Express
leroycnbucks
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,832
Buc-ee’s Beach Express
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I accidentally went into the woman's restroom and did a big ole #2. I had to go so bad that I didn't pay any attention to the name tag above the door. There were no ladies in it when I first walked in but about a half duzen were in there when I finished. The looks on their faces when I opened that stall door was priceless. I washed my hands and smiled and said thank you ladies. Then I pretty much ran to the truck and got the heck out of there.
Proud Army and ALNG veteran God Bless America!
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: tfd1224]
#860897
02/13/14 02:42 AM
02/13/14 02:42 AM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979 wedowee
daniel white
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
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Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.
Excuse the grammer
When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.
"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: daniel white]
#860900
02/13/14 02:45 AM
02/13/14 02:45 AM
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156 Alabaster
Bowhunter84
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster
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Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.
Excuse the grammer
When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.
"Just remember a gobbler has to win every time, you only have to win once" BC
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Re: Embarrassing stories
[Re: Bowhunter84]
#860904
02/13/14 02:53 AM
02/13/14 02:53 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,982 Brierfield
Beadlescomb
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,982
Brierfield
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Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.
Excuse the grammer
When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days. Been there before that's a rough feeling
We will burn that bridge when we get there
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