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Speaking of Toilets... #4073852
01/30/24 06:14 PM
01/30/24 06:14 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 22,702
Lickskillet, AL
Irishguy Offline OP
a.k.a. Dingle Johnson
Irishguy  Offline OP
a.k.a. Dingle Johnson
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 22,702
Lickskillet, AL
Ever notice when a woman goes to tinkle and when she's finished she makes a giant poof of toilet paper about the size of a regulation basketball and delicately dabs her hoohaa with it, the flushes it all down the toilet.

This is why women are deathly afraid of any current world events that could affect the supply of toilet paper.

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073857
01/30/24 06:26 PM
01/30/24 06:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 8,207
Right behind you
Mbrock Offline
Fancy
Mbrock  Offline
Fancy
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 8,207
Right behind you
I’ve always wondered why a little dab wouldn’t do ya. Half the roll seems necessary?🤷🏼‍♂️

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073858
01/30/24 06:26 PM
01/30/24 06:26 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 64,344
Luverne, AL
Skinny Offline
GUVNER
Skinny  Offline
GUVNER
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 64,344
Luverne, AL
Just tell every woman you know that the Biden administration is going to raise taxes on toilet paper to save the climate.
Women everywhere will be rushing out to club baby seals and shoot polar bears.


Never Trust Government

"You can be broke but you cant be poor." Ruthie-May Webster
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073866
01/30/24 06:37 PM
01/30/24 06:37 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,811
The Boonies a.k.a. Pickens cou...
300gr Offline
8 point
300gr  Offline
8 point
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,811
The Boonies a.k.a. Pickens cou...
Thats why toilets constantly need plunging


Two roads diverged in the woods and I took the one with deep ruts,hills and mud.It may be bumpy but WHAT A RIDE!
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073877
01/30/24 07:02 PM
01/30/24 07:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 1,841
Chambers Cnty./Ft. Morgan Ala.
B
Buckwheat Offline
8 point
Buckwheat  Offline
8 point
B
Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 1,841
Chambers Cnty./Ft. Morgan Ala.
5 squares of QUALITY Fanny Ribbon is PLENTY for any JOB!!

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: 300gr] #4073887
01/30/24 07:33 PM
01/30/24 07:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,868
Fayetteville TN Via Selma
jawbone Offline
Freak of Nature
jawbone  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,868
Fayetteville TN Via Selma
Originally Posted by 300gr
Thats why toilets constantly need plunging

Just got through with that not 5 minutes ago after a female took a piss in our half bathroom and used a half a roll.


Lord, please help us get our nation straightened out.
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073896
01/30/24 07:43 PM
01/30/24 07:43 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,304
Lee County
R
RCHRR Offline
14 point
RCHRR  Offline
14 point
R
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 7,304
Lee County
If the runway is slick it doesn’t take that much.😂

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073897
01/30/24 07:47 PM
01/30/24 07:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 4,921
Alabama
C
Cactus_buck Offline
12 point
Cactus_buck  Offline
12 point
C
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 4,921
Alabama
I was told by an old man you only require 1 square of toilet paper. You tear out a small circle in the middle and hold on to it. You put your finger in the hole. Clean your butt with the finger. Pull the finger out while holding said square and clean your finger. Then you take the piece you tore out to clean your nail. Never tried it. But that’s what I’ve been told.

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073898
01/30/24 07:50 PM
01/30/24 07:50 PM
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 7,783
Montgomery, AL
Hunting-231 Offline
14 point
Hunting-231  Offline
14 point
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 7,783
Montgomery, AL
Originally Posted by Irishguy
delicately dabs her hoohaa with it, the flushes it all down the toilet..


I don't know why, but hearing/reading "hoohaa" always makes me laugh. When my wife says it - it is particularly funny to me.

Last edited by Hunting-231; 01/30/24 07:50 PM.

"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow."
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073912
01/30/24 08:18 PM
01/30/24 08:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,963
In a Van, down by the River
quailman Offline
Booner
quailman  Offline
Booner
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,963
In a Van, down by the River
I got one that does the same thing.


Life is a journey. Make sure and bring plenty of Beer.

My luck has been so bad lately, it could be raining pussies and I'd catch one with a dick broke off in it.
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073916
01/30/24 08:22 PM
01/30/24 08:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 3,543
Mobile, AL
P
Pwyse Offline
10 point
Pwyse  Offline
10 point
P
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 3,543
Mobile, AL
I always said if I was born with a hooha I would just fart and blow dry it.

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073918
01/30/24 08:24 PM
01/30/24 08:24 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 64,344
Luverne, AL
Skinny Offline
GUVNER
Skinny  Offline
GUVNER
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 64,344
Luverne, AL
I have a friend who has never married and has never lived with a woman. He calls me when he has a plumbing problem.
Single men can not fix plumbing. Women turn men into plumbers.


Never Trust Government

"You can be broke but you cant be poor." Ruthie-May Webster
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073923
01/30/24 08:28 PM
01/30/24 08:28 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,938
Alabama
canvasback Offline
8 point
canvasback  Offline
8 point
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,938
Alabama
My septic tank said..”word!”

Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Buckwheat] #4073932
01/30/24 08:40 PM
01/30/24 08:40 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,856
Buc-ee’s Beach Express
leroycnbucks Offline
Freak of Nature
leroycnbucks  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,856
Buc-ee’s Beach Express
Originally Posted by Buckwheat
5 squares of QUALITY Fanny Ribbon is PLENTY for any JOB!!



What about the morning after messican and beer?


Proud Army and ALNG veteran
God Bless America!
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073939
01/30/24 08:46 PM
01/30/24 08:46 PM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,658
Central, Al
Bustinbeards Offline
Booner
Bustinbeards  Offline
Booner
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,658
Central, Al
I started putting the plunger in the way cause I was having to use it almost every morning.

My wife complained and I told her to stop clogging it up with TP. Damn just damn


Originally Posted By: Wiley Coyote
Well, the way I see it is there's just too many assholes
On a good day there's a bunch of assholes in here. On a bad day there's too many assholes in here.
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073942
01/30/24 08:48 PM
01/30/24 08:48 PM
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 3,125
North Al.
P
Paint Rock 00 Offline
10 point
Paint Rock 00  Offline
10 point
P
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 3,125
North Al.
May need one that advertises it will flush golf balls. (Turbo Flush)
Handy tool here. Just hope the plumber used glue.
[Linked Image]
[Linked Image]

Last edited by Paint Rock 00; 01/30/24 08:51 PM.
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073945
01/30/24 08:59 PM
01/30/24 08:59 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 64,344
Luverne, AL
Skinny Offline
GUVNER
Skinny  Offline
GUVNER
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 64,344
Luverne, AL


Never Trust Government

"You can be broke but you cant be poor." Ruthie-May Webster
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073951
01/30/24 09:07 PM
01/30/24 09:07 PM
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,359
Here
Okatuppa Offline
10 point
Okatuppa  Offline
10 point
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,359
Here
One of the benefits to being a paper mill brat is a good supply of free toilet paper.

When I built my house a couple years ago, I installed the American Standard toilets that can flush a bucket of golf balls without clogging.
No issues so far.

For those that are curious, I flushed a bucket of golf balls to see if would actually do it and it sucked them down like it was nothing.
I did this while my grinder pump tank was still brand new, so I could get them out.

The grinder pump brings up another issue with women.
A friend of mine installed the tank and pump and was giving me the speech about not flushing anything but pee, poop and toilet paper.
No wet wipes, feminine hygiene products, etc.
I told him to save that speech for the wimmens and told my folks that if they flushed something that damaged the grinder pump, they were gonna help him pull it out and change it.


I ain't fightin nobody that swings around in trees with a running chainsaw like Tarzan. - FurFlyin

Oh I just thought u were a dumba$$ 🤣 my apologies… - jb20
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073971
01/30/24 09:31 PM
01/30/24 09:31 PM
Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 1,345
North Alabama
H
Hammertime7v2 Offline
8 point
Hammertime7v2  Offline
8 point
H
Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 1,345
North Alabama
I believe in toilet paper, but there are few things in life more frustrating than cleaning out a peanut butter jar with a Kleenex...so I guess that makes me a fan of bidets too.


Professional Smart Alec
Re: Speaking of Toilets... [Re: Irishguy] #4073972
01/30/24 09:32 PM
01/30/24 09:32 PM
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,223
St. Clair
H
Hornhntr Offline
8 point
Hornhntr  Offline
8 point
H
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,223
St. Clair
Originally Posted by Irishguy
Ever notice when a woman goes to tinkle and when she's finished she makes a giant poof of toilet paper about the size of a regulation basketball and delicately dabs her hoohaa with it, the flushes it all down the toilet.

This is why women are deathly afraid of any current world events that could affect the supply of toilet paper.


From the Cottonelle site: Men use on average of 8.11 sheets and women use 6.31 sheets.
Ain’t no way that’s right. As you said “Basketball”

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