Even though I'm notoriously bad at cooking, I really do try sometimes and Irishguy has inspired me to try once again. My careful, patient effort at making biscuits tonight turned out just the same as always: the biscuits won't rise, they won't brown, and they are so profoundly dry they are nearly inedible. My wife took about two small, cautious bites and said, "They have no flavor at all. They need sugar or salt or something. Biscuits are too fattening anyway. That's why God invented toasters and toast."

I could bake biscuits until they were ON FIRE and they wouldn't brown.

What recipe did you use?

Those biscuits look...

Terrible!

PS. I gave up trying to make biscuits years ago because I sucked at it. Baking just ain't something I'm good at and don't want to try and get better.

That's why they make those frozen biscuits that are way better than I can make.

Those are some ugly biscuits

My mom sure could make em

COVEREM UP with gravy and eat away!!

Man, time to try something else..

I’ve always followed this

I make cathead biscuits with bisquick and buttermilk in a cast iron skillet. may not be the old school way but they are good and easy to whip up.

Yes, sir, they certainly are. How old timey pioneer women ever got three or four simple ingredients to make anything edible is beyond me. I think I’m just not smart enough to understand it.

I'm no good at it either. Baking just isn't my thing.

Like you, I have had trouble with biscuits. My go-to has become these two ingredient biscuits: https://thelocalpalate.com/recipes/nathalie-duprees-two-ingredient-biscuits/

It is just heavy cream and self rising flour. It may take you a few tries to get the proportions right. I would also caution to NOT overmix or overwork the dough. For a good rise, but them side by side against the side of a pan. They will go up instead of out.

I would also try to cut out the biscuit dough so that it is thicker with a smaller diameter. The dusting of flour on the top is going to impede browning. You may want to mop with melted butter to promote browning and moisture. This sounds crazy, but you may want to try a lighter colored pan. Darker pans will bake bread more quickly on the bottom.

They ain't gonna brown when they're coated with flour

They were way hungrier back then as well

Maybe you’re working them too much? Not supposed to “knead” biscuit dough.
I can’t imagine not being able to make biscuits or corn bread…
You could always just barely mix flour and butter milk, pour in 1/4 cup melted butter than spoon it all out into a greased pan and make hoe cakes. Biscuits don’t have to be round and prettt.

One of my fondest memories is sitting on the counter with my Memaw when I was barely able to remember and making biscuits. She would mix everything up, never measuring of course. The greatest thing I can recall is she always said to never overwork the dough. She used an old hickory handled pastry cutter to just barely work everything in. I reckon I retained some of that knowledge. A few cups of flower, a sprinkling of baking powder, a big dollop of lard, and then buttermilk just enough to work everything together. If it was too sticky, she'd sprinkle in more flower. And after she rolled out the dough, I would get to cut the biscuits out with an old squatty tin can that was Lord only knows how old. They'd get wedged into a big greased iron skillet, and I could never wait until they were done.

Vernon, don't give up!

You don’t knead biscuit dough, you fold it. Don’t overwork it.
Do a search on here. I’ve posted a recipe

Watched him cook those not long ago. Love his shows. Been gone since 2002 but still going strong

First off use white lilly flour.
Sift or whisk the flour.
Try making 2 ingredient( self rising flour and heavy cream)biscuits until you get the feeling for it then try other recipes