At football practice it was - one of you is scared and the other guy is glad of it

When you were wishing something it was - you can chit in one hand wish in the other and see which one fills up first

When in trouble at home - I will put something on you that a dirty dish rag want wash off

When it was cold - it’s colder than a witches Tit in a brass bra

And from my dad and I still try to leave by this - you are no better than your word - your good name is all you got - don’t ever ruin it

What in Sam Hill?

Most of them I can’t say on here.

Going to Hell in a hand basket
That’s just assbackwards or bassackwards
That dog won’t hunt
He’s just a big ol titty baby
He’s lost as Hell, he’s just going in circles.
I could go on and on

I think I have heard and continue to hear almost all of these

Tighter than Dick’s hat band…

Be careful or you’ll catch something Ajax won’t get off

That kid is wet behind the ears

That boy still got milk on his lips.

Give me a dollars fiddy's wurf on pump one

Iny Meany mining Mo catch a Ni**er by his toe. If he hollers let him go Iny Meany my knee mow.
Ni**er toes
High yellow
Muladdows
Mongoloids, Caucasoid, Negroid

That boy's a water head
Going to the quarters to change my luck
Don't kick a winning horse in the ass
Can't put an old head on young shoulders
He's got better moves than an epileptic

My dad's brother used to say

"I'm luckier than a dog with a bacon-flavored pecker"

When something would go well for him lol

Something I wish I wouldn't hear again.... We're calling about your cars extended warranty....

We use this still fairly often in the pipe welding world, kinda a go to lol

Darker than midnight under a skillet

That’s mighty white of you

Winner....

Same here

The "other" name for Blackeyed Susans, the one my grandmother called them.

Slicker than owl chit

Because of the glogal warning thingy, you'll never hear this one again. I wish it would snow so deep outside you had to chit in a shotgun and shoot it out the chimbley