</a JR Holmes Oil Company </a Shark Guard Southeast Woods and Whitetail Mayer Insurance Services LLC
Aldeer Classifieds
Crewman Laborer need
by MikeP. 05/29/24 11:37 AM
Coke Commercial Fridge
by rutwad. 05/29/24 11:06 AM
WTB .308 AR
by Bulls eye. 05/29/24 10:12 AM
Ruger american 450 bushmaster
by AustinC. 05/29/24 09:14 AM
Rossi R92 stainless 24" 44 Mag
by thayerp81. 05/29/24 09:06 AM
Serious Deer Talk
Help with Survey
by Steve Ditchkoff. 05/29/24 03:09 PM
points or age on bucks...
by Frankie. 05/29/24 12:39 PM
Fawn Predation
by Frankie. 05/29/24 09:53 AM
3 male walker, cur pups. FREE!!!!!!
by Blindluck. 05/29/24 12:05 AM
3 male walker/cur pups FREE
by Blindluck. 05/28/24 11:56 PM
May
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31
Land, Leases, Hunting Clubs
Looking for a couple guys
by MoeBuck. 05/25/24 06:25 PM
Tunnel Springs 1 more member
by extreme heights hunter. 05/23/24 10:17 AM
Iso
by AustinC. 05/21/24 05:01 PM
Marengo County Club
by EarlPitts. 05/17/24 04:02 PM
Franklin county Al
by BigBuck10. 05/11/24 09:29 AM
Who's Online Now
114 registered members (leroyb, Boathand, JohnnyLoco, IDOT, DoubleB, bamapanic, BayedUp, ridgestalker, 2walnuts, furnfeather, CNC, auwild, jhardy, Bowfish, WhoMe, Turkey_neck, trlrdrdave, Thisldu, Morris, slippinlipjr, RCHRR, BCLC, Bulls eye, fillmore, 7x57_Mauser, Mansfield, Dixiepatriot, hamma, Bows4evr, fur_n_feathers, Keysbowman, MikeP, limabean, Lvlhdd, Gizmo76, dquick1, SouthBamaSlayer, Turberville, Turkeyhunter12, bamabug, JLMiller, Reaper, DryFire, bfoote, Remington270, Frogeye, canichols424, kaferhaus, Atoler, abamadude, booner, PapaD, Okatuppa, 007, deerman24, odocoileus, M48scout, Paddlejon, Dean, znix123, BPI, 700ltr308, WDE, sawdust, BamaBoHunter, GomerPyle, Cfh76, CarbonClimber1, Bustinbeards, Brownitsdown, burbank, Raspy, Squadron77, Treelimb, Woody1, Captain Howdy, woodduck, Team_Stuckem, Jaben, AU7MM08, sanderson, Bjoff27, USeeMSpurs, beeline08, Shane99, Hoytdad10, Ten37, Frankie, gman, stuball, EYESPY, KnightRyder, aubigmac, 11020, brett.smith, robinhedd, CatfishJunkie, Blessed, CAL, metalmuncher, 14 invisible), 543 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Don't Mess with Grandpa #1262995
02/13/15 06:20 AM
02/13/15 06:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,767
Selma
odocoileus Online content OP
14 point
odocoileus  Online Content OP
14 point
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,767
Selma
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney..

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1262997
02/13/15 06:22 AM
02/13/15 06:22 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 10,997
Somerville
CAM Offline
Booner
CAM  Offline
Booner
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 10,997
Somerville
rofl


"Don't let a dead deer kill ya"
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263003
02/13/15 06:25 AM
02/13/15 06:25 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 14,831
If you only knew.....
Tru-Talker Offline
Booner
Tru-Talker  Offline
Booner
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 14,831
If you only knew.....
laugh


Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves...

Confucius
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263004
02/13/15 06:26 AM
02/13/15 06:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 7,900
Huntsville AL
Rocket62 Offline
14 point
Rocket62  Offline
14 point
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 7,900
Huntsville AL
Heck yeah!




I don't want to pass quietly into the night. I want to slide in sideways kickin and screamin
Life really is awesome ... Soak it up while you can ...
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263011
02/13/15 06:29 AM
02/13/15 06:29 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster
Bowhunter84 Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Bowhunter84  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster
rofl


"Just remember a gobbler has to win every time, you only have to win once"
BC
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263023
02/13/15 06:36 AM
02/13/15 06:36 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,265
Lawrence Co. AL
jdhunter2011 Offline
8 Point
jdhunter2011  Offline
8 Point
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,265
Lawrence Co. AL
lol


Its not the will to win but the will to prepare to win!
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: jdhunter2011] #1263028
02/13/15 06:40 AM
02/13/15 06:40 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 694
Guntersville,Al
Oatsj Offline
4 point
Oatsj  Offline
4 point
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 694
Guntersville,Al
That will work!


retired 6 Saturdays and one Sunday

I am lucky, I don't have as far to go as I have been!
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263047
02/13/15 06:53 AM
02/13/15 06:53 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,951
North Alabama
Fullthrottle Offline
10 point
Fullthrottle  Offline
10 point
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,951
North Alabama
Win win

Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263104
02/13/15 07:28 AM
02/13/15 07:28 AM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 14,647
Clanton
Turkey_neck Online content
Booner
Turkey_neck  Online Content
Booner
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 14,647
Clanton
rofl


Would walk over a naked woman to get to a gobblin turkey!
Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: odocoileus] #1263128
02/13/15 07:47 AM
02/13/15 07:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,342
oak grove
forten Offline
8 point
forten  Offline
8 point
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,342
oak grove
rofl

Re: Don't Mess with Grandpa [Re: forten] #1263926
02/13/15 07:52 PM
02/13/15 07:52 PM
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,416
D'Iberville, MS
MS_Hunter Offline
12 point
MS_Hunter  Offline
12 point
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,416
D'Iberville, MS
thumbup


In your darkest hour when the demons come, call on me brother and we'll fight them together.

Aldeer.com Copyright 2001-2024 Aldeer LLP.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.1.1
(Release build 20180111)
Page Time: 0.101s Queries: 14 (0.029s) Memory: 3.1823 MB (Peak: 3.4386 MB) Zlib disabled. Server Time: 2024-05-29 21:12:43 UTC