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Velvet
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Funny WWII Letter
#1192358
12/18/14 06:41 PM
12/18/14 06:41 PM
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 6,617 Lake View, AL
Joe4majors
OP
14 point
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OP
14 point
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 6,617
Lake View, AL
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For a couple years now, I've been working on and off on retyping several letters that my granddad wrote to his family while he was in Europe during WWII. He was in Patton's 3rd Army. He passed away when I was pretty young, but it has been great seeing the world through his eyes back when he was 20 or 21. It's also a step back in time. I've always thought the letter below was quite hilarious. Basically, a girl back home had sent him a completely useless care package and so he was venting to his sisters (living in Winfield, AL). Somewhere in Europe 1/5/1945 Hey Sisters! Here goes. I’ve got some steam to let off and I have no one to talk to so the next best way is to write it off. I’m sorry it had to be you but I had an envelope already addressed to you. See, it goes like this: For weeks I’ve been sweatin’ out a box from the little blond. She didn’t tell me what she was sending. Just said she was sending me a box to let me know she was thinking of me. Well, it came in tonight. Dammit, this is final. I’m through with all women. The next time you hear me ever mention them you’ll know I’m nuts. I’m nuts. It was a cigar box and I started taking off the sentimental home-sickening X’mas wrapping. In unison all the guys yelled, congratulations, Wintertime Webb! Boy or girl? Nevermind. Pass them around. Don’t you know all of us boys haven’t had any cigars since Pvt. Rosner’s wife had twins!? She had me wondering for a while but then I got the lid off! Heaven help me! It shouldn’t happen to a dog. Hell! I didn’t know whether to take it as a joke or if she meant it as a sincere gift. Honest, it hurt my feelings. I was so mad I wanted to cry but the boys just laughed and said it was the best joke since Cpl. Reina got a pair of pajamas from an old aunt of his. She sent a shoe shining kit with polish and a pack of needles & a spool of thread and some other gruesome articles which I don’t care to mention. Oh! My aching back, and she said it was to let me know she was thinking of me. I’m through! I quit! Me, a combat soldier crawling in mud most of the time just for the fun of it, I suppose, so damn hungry at times I would have eaten the polish if I had had it and she thinks of me! ha! man oh man! If my greying hair is long enough I’d pull it out. The last time I saw polish was when we had to the big overseas inspection back in the states. For the past three months I haven’t even seen my shoes through the mud and snow, and she sends me shoe polish. I think I’ll send the polish back so when she gets those wooden shoes I sent her she can use it on them. By the way, I sent a pair of wooden shoes home too, or did I tell you about it? Hey Sweethearts, I got four letters and two packages from you recently. I got the box containing the gum, candy, sugar, milk, etc. this morning about two o’clock so at four I made a cup of coffee and didn’t go to breakfast. That was so cute the way all of you send individual packages of sugar. I used J.C.’s and Sammie’s this morning. I’m glad you send sugar and milk cause I can always use those but I wish you wouldn’t use rationed things to send me. I certainly have enough gum now and Jay has a box of it on the way that Garnett got for me. The cheese and things in the other box were very good too. Thanks so much for everything. Remember when I got back I owe each of you a dozen kisses for that sugar. If I keep getting so many packages I think I’ll open up an A&P store, but that don’t stand for “Apples and Peaches.” Yes, that was nice of Herman and those boys to send us their own shoes, or better known as “antics.” Rather I should say it was nice for comrades. They were dropped to us by plane one day but I suppose they thought size fourteens were the largest drop. I tried on a pair of thirteens but were too small so I’ve been going without thus far. Everyone else in my section has them. At last the Army has wised up and given wool undershirts with the navy type necks. On cold rainy days now I wear a raincoat, overcoat, field jacket, fur coat, sweaters, wool shirt, wool undershirt, and cotton undershirt, of course my ever present natural fur blanket. On my head I wear a camouflage net, steel helmet, helmet liner, wool knit cap, wool hood, wool scarf and dog tags around my neck. I wear two pairs of wool OD pants, a pair of wool longs and a pair of wool shorts mother made for me. I have on two pairs of wool socks and combat boots. On the outside of all this I carry a pistol belt with plenty of ammo, canteen, first aid pouch, my gun, and one other thing I can’t mention. I fill my pockets up with hand grenades so I won’t feel as naked. According to the “Stars and Gripes” correction, “Stars and Stripes,” it is cold in the ETO these days. Man! It is really white on the Western Front tonight. Wait! Here comes two bags of mail. Say, I didn’t do so bad - seven letters and that box of gum from Joy & Garnett. Two were from you, one from home and a beautiful Christmas card from mother and dad (meant for next Christmas I suppose), one from Sarah, Jean May, one from Lourine & Tommie Fou?, and dammit another one from that blond. Yesterday, I got a letter from Norma, aunt Liza’s G.D. and a X-mas card from aunt Liza. I owe people twenty-three letters so I better close and write someone else. I enjoyed your letters and the picture too, Anna. By the way, I just showed the picture of some of the boys who wrote you that letter and they said tell you to forget the fruit cake and send five pounds of sea-grass pictures for individual fox hole pin-ups. I started this letter three nights ago. It’s Sunday night now and I enjoyed good church services today. Tell Idren (?) I’ll answer his letter soon. Love always, Brother
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Re: Funny WWII Letter
[Re: Joe4majors]
#1192363
12/18/14 06:50 PM
12/18/14 06:50 PM
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 32,451 North Alabama
YEKRUT
Turkey Nut
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Turkey Nut
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 32,451
North Alabama
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Man those are awesome. Thanks for sharing.
Some men are mere hunters; others are turkey hunters. —Archibald Rutledge—
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Re: Funny WWII Letter
[Re: YEKRUT]
#1192368
12/18/14 07:06 PM
12/18/14 07:06 PM
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,202 Huntsville, AL
Claims Rep.
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,202
Huntsville, AL
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Man those are awesome. Thanks for sharing. x2. Great stuff.
Jesus... I hope you know Him personally like I do.
Si vis pacem, para bellum.
Proud crossbow hunter!
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Re: Funny WWII Letter
[Re: RikkiV]
#1192584
12/19/14 05:15 AM
12/19/14 05:15 AM
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,964 Northport
Thisldu
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,964
Northport
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That's so awesome. I wonder what the thing was that he was carrying but could not mention? Pack of cigs? Nudie Magazine?
"The future's uncertain and the end is always near"
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Re: Funny WWII Letter
[Re: Joe4majors]
#1192598
12/19/14 05:24 AM
12/19/14 05:24 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 11,152 Central Alabama
Cuz-Pat
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 11,152
Central Alabama
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I believe I'd have that letter laminated. Very nice, I enjoyed the read.
Cuz-Pat
Patton's European Mounts Professional Quality Skull & Antler Taxidermy Since 1998
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Re: Funny WWII Letter
[Re: Joe4majors]
#1192697
12/19/14 06:51 AM
12/19/14 06:51 AM
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 630 North Shelby
superdave
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 630
North Shelby
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Thanks for sharing! My nephew did the same thing with his great-great-grandfathers from WW-!. Thatswar.com Here is a description of the book:
About the Book PDF Print E-mail
William Arthur Sirmon - That's WarThat’s War is a diary of the authentic experiences of Lt. William Arthur Sirmon from January 1, 1918 to November 12, 1918. In this account of a regular soldier in the 82nd Division, 325th Infantry, you are led through ten chapters of a heartfelt, attention-grabbing journey. It starts out at Ft. Gordon, Georgia, where Sirmon was in charge of training soldiers. His story takes you across the beautiful, yet run down, terrain of France.
William Arthur Sirmon spent more than four years prior to 1917 as an officer of the Philippine Constabulary, serving primarily in Mindanao, the “Island of Blood”. He was the most highly decorated soldier from Georgia, and it is believed, of the entire Great War. In February of 1919, only he and Sergeant Alvin York were awarded The Legion of Honor of France, Distinguished Service Cross and the Croix de Guerre with Palm by General Pershing. These accolades made him an honorary citizen of France.
This diary is not completely blood and guts, but surprisingly light for the most part. It describes the day-to-day life of typical American doughboys and the obstacles they faced through the entire war. That’s War is a great read filled with excitement and humor, with education and entertainment throughout..
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