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Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3924978
06/13/23 02:59 PM
06/13/23 02:59 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 25,437
Tampa
B
Beer Belly Offline
Freak of Nature
Beer Belly  Offline
Freak of Nature
B
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 25,437
Tampa

I have driven home a few times where I was planning what to tell the cop if I got caught speeding. The closer you get to home the more you have to clinch, and the faster you drive.

I assume the cop would either understand or shoot me in the back as I run into my house.


--------------
For what it is worth: I still agree with me!
A big man will stand up for himself; a great man will stand up for others.
Processor Map: https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?mid=1OTDcvGoo3puyO-CV10he3pH97IE
Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3924991
06/13/23 03:38 PM
06/13/23 03:38 PM
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 353
Inverness, AL
J
jaderhold Offline
4 point
jaderhold  Offline
4 point
J
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 353
Inverness, AL
When I worked downtown in Birmingham, I would not poop in the work bathrooms. I would drive home, which is in Greystone to do my business. I never lost one race but I came close a few times. Had I not unbuckled my belt, I don’t think I would have made it.

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3924992
06/13/23 03:44 PM
06/13/23 03:44 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 14,304
ArmPit of the south
D
DeerNutz0U812_ Offline
Booner
DeerNutz0U812_  Offline
Booner
D
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 14,304
ArmPit of the south
Filled your boots up???? rofl aaaayeeeee..... May ought to go see a dr.... shocked reckon....


Did you know that Beer Nutz are over a Dollar...and Deer Nutz are under a Buck...


Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3924996
06/13/23 03:56 PM
06/13/23 03:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 854
FL
S
SC53 Offline
6 point
SC53  Offline
6 point
S
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 854
FL
I ain’t gonna say nothing.
As Jaw said, you always needs a “ backup” plan.
And as you age you will realize you cannot trust a fart.

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3924997
06/13/23 03:57 PM
06/13/23 03:57 PM
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 3,075
North Al.
P
Paint Rock 00 Offline
10 point
Paint Rock 00  Offline
10 point
P
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 3,075
North Al.
What size boots and where are they asking for a member of this site.

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3924998
06/13/23 04:06 PM
06/13/23 04:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,906
alex city
oakachoy Offline
12 point
oakachoy  Offline
12 point
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,906
alex city

TMI...


WM Hunter "Trump literally sacrificed himself, his family and all of his businesses for this country.
He literally is a true American hero. And True American Patriot - warts and all."
Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925007
06/13/23 04:21 PM
06/13/23 04:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 1,793
Chambers Cnty./Ft. Morgan Ala.
B
Buckwheat Offline
8 point
Buckwheat  Offline
8 point
B
Joined: Apr 2022
Posts: 1,793
Chambers Cnty./Ft. Morgan Ala.
Been there....KNEW it was about to blow. Was in a vacant parking lot. Shucked my pants and underwear,squatted down.....pulled the Azz Cheeks apart and let er RIP!!!

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: biglmbass] #3925011
06/13/23 04:35 PM
06/13/23 04:35 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 3,464
Mobile, AL
P
Pwyse Offline
10 point
Pwyse  Offline
10 point
P
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 3,464
Mobile, AL
Originally Posted by biglmbass
I might not have told that one grin.

I had a near miss last week. Was all I could do to get off the beach & across the street back to the condo in time. Had there not been a toilet on the 1st floor I'd not have made it. Not idea what set off the bubble gut. It was so bad I contemplated how obvious it would have been to go in the ocean.



It’s not that obvious. Don’t ask me how I know

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Paint Rock 00] #3925012
06/13/23 04:36 PM
06/13/23 04:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 9,582
B
BPI Offline
14 point
BPI  Offline
14 point
B
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 9,582
Originally Posted by Paint Rock 00
What size boots and where are they asking for a member of this site.


Post of the month right here

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925013
06/13/23 04:38 PM
06/13/23 04:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,011
Marion, Fayette, Lamar, piddli...
Lonster Online content
12 point
Lonster  Online Content
12 point
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,011
Marion, Fayette, Lamar, piddli...
Drove to Meza, AZ to “meet a woman” then $hits himself at work…

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925033
06/13/23 05:13 PM
06/13/23 05:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,408
Irvington, AL
sethjamtoe Offline
12 point
sethjamtoe  Offline
12 point
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,408
Irvington, AL
I've had a long busy day at work and this is exactly what I needed to read after working all day!!

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: jaderhold] #3925037
06/13/23 05:17 PM
06/13/23 05:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,793
Hoover, AL
M48scout Offline
12 point
M48scout  Offline
12 point
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,793
Hoover, AL
Originally Posted by jaderhold
When I worked downtown in Birmingham, I would not poop in the work bathrooms. I would drive home, which is in Greystone to do my business. I never lost one race but I came close a few times. Had I not unbuckled my belt, I don’t think I would have made it.


You got to identify you a last resort place at work.

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925043
06/13/23 05:36 PM
06/13/23 05:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,795
The Boonies a.k.a. Pickens cou...
300gr Offline
8 point
300gr  Offline
8 point
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 9,795
The Boonies a.k.a. Pickens cou...
Should have posted the boots and clothes in the classifieds. "Almost new. Lightly worn"


Two roads diverged in the woods and I took the one with deep ruts,hills and mud.It may be bumpy but WHAT A RIDE!
Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: SC53] #3925052
06/13/23 06:08 PM
06/13/23 06:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,929
In a Van, down by the River
quailman Offline
Booner
quailman  Offline
Booner
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 12,929
In a Van, down by the River
Originally Posted by SC53
I ain’t gonna say nothing.
As Jaw said, you always needs a “ backup” plan.
And as you age you will realize you cannot trust a fart.



Yep! As you get older, that o-ring gets weaker.


Life is a journey. Make sure and bring plenty of Beer.

My luck has been so bad lately, it could be raining pussies and I'd catch one with a dick broke off in it.
Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925054
06/13/23 06:28 PM
06/13/23 06:28 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,536
Lower Alabama
G
GrandSlam Offline
8 point
GrandSlam  Offline
8 point
G
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,536
Lower Alabama
Do not, under any circumstances, loosen up your belt until you are ready & backed up to where you need to be. I have been lucky more than a few times. Not fun but dang sure is amazing when you land on that seat in time.
Hope nobody ,at work ask, what happened to your old boots

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925057
06/13/23 06:34 PM
06/13/23 06:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,658
Opelika Al
M
Madmax0818 Offline
8 point
Madmax0818  Offline
8 point
M
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,658
Opelika Al
I’m glad I got to this one once I was one glass deep. You have no idea how bad I needed this laugh today

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925088
06/13/23 07:37 PM
06/13/23 07:37 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,901
Ozark , Alabama
B
BradB Offline
10 point
BradB  Offline
10 point
B
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,901
Ozark , Alabama
Opened the door to a toilet stall at the movie theatre one afternoon and saw the aftermath of your situation. There was a completely full pair of titey whiteys on the floor and the rear wall of the stall looked like it had been sprayed with a fire hose. Dude was about 1 second from making it.

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925098
06/13/23 07:58 PM
06/13/23 07:58 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,511
Eclectic
DoeNut Offline
8 point
DoeNut  Offline
8 point
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,511
Eclectic
Wow, now how am I gonna laser something to commemorate this post?

“He didn’t even have a porta potty or nothing?!”

Sorry man, thats rough I’ve been in similar situations, just barely made it though

Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: GomerPyle] #3925111
06/13/23 08:11 PM
06/13/23 08:11 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 34,441
Boxes Cove
2Dogs Offline
Freak of Nature
2Dogs  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 34,441
Boxes Cove
Originally Posted by GomerPyle

I don’t believe I’d have told that…


That's verbatim what my Grandmaw used to say, and certainly applies here.



"Why do you ask"?

Always vote the slowest path to socialism.







Re: Shat myself at work this morning [Re: Jakethesnake] #3925114
06/13/23 08:12 PM
06/13/23 08:12 PM
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 546
Columbus ms
Huntnwork Offline
4 point
Huntnwork  Offline
4 point
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 546
Columbus ms
Happens to the best of us. That’s why I keep a clean pair of boxers in the truck.


Workin for the man, huntin when I can.
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