Was listening at a new spot last weekend , right about gobble thirty the hens started getting excited cackling on the limb like they were spooked . Out at the far end of the field comes 2 black panthers , their tails must have been 5-6 ft long a piece . They were carrying a fresh kill , looked to be an 8-11ish foot rattle snake with 18-26 rattles and a button . Location was Madison county so be on the lookout , these snakes were big as those catfish they seen while building BB comer . Could swaller a man whole if’n they wanted to .

Man I already gotta be on the lookout for the Crichton Leprechaun out to get me, now I gotta deal with rattle snakes as big as anacondas. I may give up Turkey hunting all together.

Love it.

Did you get a rattle count?

You serious Clark?

No doubt

Hear anything?

put the crack pipe down and back away....

0 always . Didn’t hear nuttin , didn’t see nuttin . Doubt I even kill one this time

Why do rattlesnakes always have "and a button"?

Guess sounds better than 1/2 a rattle.

Be especially careful, dickslayer could be in the region. He has never met a cock he couldn't satisfy. Might turn you gay and have you leaving your wife.

I’m trying to do better . Sorry I hurt your feelings ..

Whoa, calm down buddy. Nobody here is questioning you dickslaying prowess.

I've been fortunate enough to never encounter him, but I've heard stories growing up in Madison County. The stories are confusing, and downright incoherent at times, but there are consistencies with every account. They always have sweaty balls, and the attack always comes from down wind. I've never been able comprehend exactly what happens, all I know is the victim is left with the crotch of their pants missing, and every drop of semen is drained from their body. These men are never same afterwards, they are no longer satisfied with their wives, and spend all of their time looking for dickslayer, but he never slays the same dick twice.

Be very careful in the woods of Madison County. Turkey season is when a lot of the attacks happen. The spring heat can lead to sweaty balls, and turkey hunters aren't paying attention to the wind. I ALWAYS wear a jock strap full of foot powder when in Madison County to keep my balls from getting sweaty. It's kept me safe so far, but I should probably move before my luck runs out.

That's messed up, someone could drown or freeze from having the crotch of their waders ripped out. I've know a few people who grew up without a father because of you. Their dad became obsessed with getting their dick slain again, and never came back home. Why do you keep doing this? All of Aldeer knows you are the Michael Jordan of cock handling, there is nothing left to prove.

well thats enough internet for they day im going to ease back over to the fishing forum

no hard feelings. You got jokes, I got jokes. I hope you can laugh at this and not be angry.

Somebody needs to go in timeout. Ridiculous.

You tried to make a joke ( no foul there.) If you decide to try again in the future a couple things I would recommend .
1. Keep it shorter with a better punchline .( elaborate rants loose their luster.) use trigger words and micro aggressions .
2 sometimes the crowd responds with crickets . (it makes you feel like all that enthusiasm was wasted)
3. If all else fails just tell yourself the reason you don’t have friends is bc you’re an engineer and simple minds just don’t get you . ( F Em you’re an engineer ,right? )

I bet in your field of work you’re a real hoot . Keep it up and remember the engineer motto
“ if at first you don’t succeed , it’s the blue collar guys fault … cmon man I’m an engineer.)