BOY, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.

He's full of piss and vinegar.

Crazy as a sprayed roach

A phrase I coined- HEY, it's your possum, cook it how you want to

I'm fu__ing this goat, you hold it's horns

Queer as a 3 dollar bill

That boy is as happy as a faggot with a bag of rubber d__ks

Is a pigs ass pork?

Full of more chit than a christmas turkey