Even now 2 years after the fact this one is almost too embarrassing to tell.I never before or since this incedent sent my wife flirty text but one evening I did and it backfired on me.I was still at work and about thirty minutes before I got off work I decided to stoke the fire with my wife before I got home so I sent her a text.Little beknownst to me her and my daughter were cooking supper.My wife had chicken batter all over her hands so unsuspecting of anything when my text came in she tells my daughter "thats your daddy texting open it and see what he said" my daughter -age 13- then starts cracking up and by this time is in the fetal postion cracking up laughing on the floor.My wife says what is it what did he say.She looks up at my wife and says"he said when he gets home he is gonna eat your p@#$y like a starved ethiopian".My wife nearly had a heart attack then texted me this-your daughter just read that text.Guys I was so embarrassed that I spent the night at a friends house that night because I couldnt figure out how to handle walking in the house.When I got home to add insult to injury.I walked in and my daughter was sitting on the couch watching t.v and looks up at me and smirks and says "you still hungry?"I went to my room.lol