I can tell you this with certainty, to become a firefighter in Alabama you have to pass basic EMT as well. Most Fire Departments now require at least Intermediate if not Paramedic to get a foot in the door. Paramedic is exceptionally hard for people with drive and education. People without it will most likely not pass. Firefighter/Medic is NOT for people who don't do well in school or hate learning. Firefighters spend their entire career learning and renewing skills. It's constant.


I'd be happy to meet with father / son to lay that out for him. I've helped others get in the service, he wouldn't be the first.

If that phone is anything more than a flip phone, then he has access to social media and pretty much anything else one can access online with a computer.

I would take the phone and even though it would be a pain in the butt, there would be no more girlfriend driving him anywhere either.

This sounds like a great idea.

All of this and worse. My wife and I made a lot of mistakes, but we tried very hard with our daughter. It took her falling far before finally turning it around. The right man in her life made all the difference. My wife and I thank God every day for my son-in-law. She still has her moments, but the stability of a partner has made all the difference in the world.

I whopped my son with a belt but after 13 I quit, but really didn't need too after he turned 13. I am pro spankings but feel it can do just as much harm as good once they get older.

My brother was diagnosed with ADHD when he was little and was struggling with school but my mom said no to putting him on meds. He struggled with school but he made it, he played football and baseball so he had to keep his grades decent but he was never college material. My daughter struggled with school and we had her tested, the doctor again said she had ADHD. I told the doctor she was not hyper active and he said she had silent ADHD, whatever. We dropped her down to the general classes and she was fine. I have taken Adderall and its speed, no doubt about it. I feel it should be avoided unless in extreme situations.

At this point, I would not worry about school. Why fight that battle, if he fails out this year just take him to get his GED. Also, never use items like cell phones and video games to entice good behavior. Parents are using cell phones to parent children and its a no win situation. Get him a flip phone and sell the Xbox. Also, the bus runs everyday. He can ride the bus and come home after school. Forget allowing him to use your truck so he can get to work. Just provide shelter and food, that's it.

Now I am not going to allow any of my kids to outright disrespect me. I don't really care if they 18 or 25. If they want to go then let's go buddy.

Can you even get a fire dept job w'out a HS diploma? It was or used to be a coveted position & there was a waiting list at one time in my hometown. Just seems like you'd easily be passed over w'out a diploma.

Me too. I honestly believe we all have to figure out our ourselves. I know I did. I was a really wild kid til I hit 30yrs old. I just got tired of living that way and can't have a career with drug testing so I straightened up. I didn't have anyone to teach me correctly. My dad and grandpa weren't good mentors. My biggest problem was hanging around the wrong crowd. Everyone in my neighborhood was bad. It seemed like half of Grissom was no good when I attended about 22yrs ago.

The last thing you want to hear is a dad yelling at you. I think the best thing is to cut them off completely from any help. Make a strict curfew and if they want a phone or anything, make them go flip burgers or get into a trade and earn it.

School is over rated for people like me. If my son wants to quit and get his GED and go into trade school, I will support him 100%.

Maybe with a GED, I haven't checked in a while and it's a bit insulting to some that people act like anyone can do it. I watched some strong good men who failed out of rookie school for one reason or another. The entire first year, at least in my area, you can be fired without cause. I've seen it happen. Show up late? Gone. Lazy? Gone. Can't grasp the concepts? Gone. Complain or whine too much? Gone.

The biggest reason was many couldn't handle the physical requirements to get through rookie school. My class had two fail out because of claustrophobia issues. Another just couldn't physically do it. Some failed with grades. It's not easy to make it through, but if you do, and you are halfway decent, you might make a career of it.

Hasnt changed much. My 22 year old decided to be home schooled his Junior year. My 16 yr old last month asked to be homeschooled too. He said, I love the Lord, dont smoke, drink or care about banging everything that moves. I just dont fit in. He was MVP of defense and good looking kid, just struggles with living for God vs man.

For what it’s worth, I was in your sons shoes when I was in my teens. Didn’t have a care in the world, number 238 out of 264 academically, and played the “woe is me” card.
Somehow enlisted when I was 17, it all got turned around. Now I’d guess I’m in the top 2% of my graduating class as far as success.

Opposite side of the spectrum is my sister. My dad was hard on her but it was always hollow threats. She has yet to finish even her GED, works at a chicken restaurant and is on her second baby daddy.

You gotta hit rock bottom before you can go up. Not just true for addiction, but also life in general

He needs a GED or diploma to be a fireman. I was giving him some grief the other day about his lack of gratitude for getting a reckless driving dismissed, with no guilty plea I might add. The costs for that were $125 to consult with the lawyer, $1,250 for municipal court, which is really revenue court. $600 for a non refundable appeal bond to go to circuit court, and $7,500 for circuit court appeal. Not counting time off and running all around.

I said, how would it look walking into a firefighter job with a reckless conviction? Do you think they would even let you drive the vehicles? He says, oh you don't want to be a driver, they get paid less. I was like hey genius, you have to go to firefighter and EMT school, they will send you, don't you think that you will have to take classes, and pass tests in order to get the certification? If you do that as well as school guess what you are going to be? The DRIVER!

I guess he thinks because he can do the physical so well, he can just do that and get paid......

He has no clue. Just none.

Well he is really mad now because I cut his phone off. I guess he can leave when he turns 18 according to Jawbone. I told him he was welcome to leave when he graduated, and if he did I would be changing the lock code on the door, because coming and going as you please is for people who live here.

His basic beef is I don't read his mind. Its my job to figure out whats wrong with him without him communicating. and he is not going to take any meds.

He is completely selfish. He has no idea what I have sacrificed for him. It pisses me off, and its going to be tough to see him walk out and he probably will.

He will probably go live with his mom, until her hubs gets tired of his mess too. I doubt it will take long.

Does your son attend church and have a relationship with Jesus Christ?

Ever since you posted this, you and your son have really been on my heart. I hope you don’t mind but I added you to my prayer list.

He is a believer. As am I. I don't go like I should. He was going with his GF but doesn't seem to do that anymore. Sometimes I get frustrated with going, because I feel like I'm getting "church lite" . You know, a sales pitch for something I already have.

There's a lot to it. His mom's middle son from her first marriage was grooming my son when he was a toddler. He ended up saying something and I got it handled before anything really serious happened. My son was not believed by his mother, and I knew as whacked as the judges were, the only way they would do anything is if my son remembered it, and he didn't. So I stayed married to her to keep my children safe, because their mom never would have.

I spent 8 years with a woman I hated with a passion for them, until she finally left. As in we were out of town and she left and the kids and I come back and she's gone. I got custody and she has given up visitation time, without discussion of course. That's been going on for several years.

He's basically wiped his butt with my house and my truck. No gratitude. I ask him to make Cs or better and he has not done it every 9 weeks of high school.

The counselor I was seeing while I was with his mom told me to go get a massage periodically, just so I could have a person touch me. Because I wasn't having any physical contact with my wife after the grooming issue. Most of my 40's were lifeless.

So it's very aggravating for me when he acts like I'm not doing enough, when thru all this, I don't even get a bday card or something for Xmas even. Write me a note. Tell me you appreciate me, something. I never miss his. The $ I spent to get custody to keep them safe, I'm still paying off my dad on. You know? I have sacrificed greatly, and to just basically get an FU doesn't set well.

See sometimes you never really know what someone's story is.

Pretty cool program up here. My wife' cousin is in charge of Lincoln Co. TN vocational programs in the high school. She was telling me that they are about to start program for kids to get their EMT certification while in high school. They built a little room in a bigger room that is the same dimension as an ambulance with a bed and all. Apparently, there are a lot of kids wanting to get in the program.

Thanks for putting this out there Lockjaw, sometimes its difficult to be open and honest about what's going on in our personal lifes. Much respect to you for stepping up as a father in a tough situation. We all pray your son is just in a difficult stage and will eventually grow up and live a productive life.

Praying for yall Lockjaw. I grew up in a similar mindset as your son, with a drug problem. I’m sure I had grandparents praying for me but it took some life changes events, near death, to change me.(God)

Being a good husband and father is probably one of the most thankless jobs in the world. That said, don't give up on your son. He will get it one day. Till then, speak life into him if at all possible.

I did too. My home life was tough, and I was ill prepared to walk out into the real world. My dad was abusive at times, and I drank to self soothe and got in quite a bit of trouble before I turned my life around. I have been very open and candid about that with both my sons, and have done the best I could to talk to them about the disasters of making a and choice.

Marrying their mom was the worst decision I have made. I got two sons Ioce out of it, but the financial and emotional hardships I have suffered have taxed me. On top of her walking out, when I had never even cussed her no less, she hasn't owned it and blamed me instead. She's dropped 6 visitatuon days a month with out so much as asking if if was ok.

I have been on my own basically as far as raising them. No back up. If mom is sick she doesn't pick up, if I'm sick, I'm stuck.

Choices matter. I want more for mine. I don't want them to be like me. And I for sure don't want future grandkids around the groomer or their mom, because she won't watch. It's stuff that keeps me up at night.

Pray about it a lot. Seems you are doing a whole lot more than a lot of parents and grandparents around the world. At least at the end of the day when you know you have done just about all you can do that’s all that matters. I’m sure you know it can hurt your health more than anything. Be strong frin, God will help if you seek it.