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Iso
by AustinC. 05/21/24 05:01 PM
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Troubled child?
#4071246
01/26/24 04:52 PM
01/26/24 04:52 PM
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Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 8,572
Chelsea
Lockjaw
OP
14 point
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OP
14 point
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 8,572
Chelsea
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Probably need some LE or legal advice. Have a child . He has ADD. Short of me force feeding him meds, he won't take them. He's failing in school, it's the same every 9 weeks. Doesn't do home work, it's the teachers fault blah blah blah. I ground him and grades come up. Rule is C or better.
He seems to think he has a vote in my house. He doesn't. He's never going to college, and if he doesn't watch it, he won't even graduate high school. He is lazy on top of ADD.
So gravy train at my house is shutting down. Told his mom he could come live with her, but she would have to cover his insurance and cell phone, because I'm not going to. I'm sure that will change her calculus. It will make me $ to be honest.
He will be 18 in Feb. I've spent $10k getting him out of reckless, it's a long story, and he seems to think I would be there again with a lawyer if he gets in trouble. I said no.. zero gratitude from him. He thinks he can go stay with a friend, I said no. Tow the line or go live with your mom..
Please don't say he needs an azz whipping. He's to old for that and id probably end up in jail to boot.
Anyone been thru it and have advice?
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Sandmtnslayer]
#4071285
01/26/24 05:40 PM
01/26/24 05:40 PM
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 14,355
ArmPit of the south
DeerNutz0U812_
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 14,355
ArmPit of the south
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That's a tough spot to be in brother X2...I Wish there was something I could say that would help your situation, but I dont think there is.... 
Did you know that Beer Nutz are over a Dollar...and Deer Nutz are under a Buck...
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071295
01/26/24 05:49 PM
01/26/24 05:49 PM
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,395
Centreville
weatherby
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,395
Centreville
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Had a similar experience when my boy was 16. He was compliant with his meds, but he just didn't give a $hit about school. I sat him down and told him I was tired. I tried bribing him, I tried punishing, and everything in between to motivate. I told him, I didn't care if he graduated school. I can't make you want to do better. I will sign off for you to drop out of school and take your GED, and you can go down and join the military.
He didn't like that conversation. He had enough motivation to just get by. He graduated. He has a good work ethic and he is about 8 months from being able to sit for his journeyman card for electrical. Grew up a lot after he turned 18. Hope yours can get his head out of his ass and get moving. Maybe pulling the safety net will wake him up.
If Caitlyn Jenner can keep his wiener and be considered a woman, I can keep my guns and be considered disarmed!
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071297
01/26/24 05:49 PM
01/26/24 05:49 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,946
Fayetteville TN Via Selma
jawbone
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,946
Fayetteville TN Via Selma
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My work for a good bit of my career was in Juvenile Justice, both as the victim or offender, but he will be 18 in Feb so that puts him out of that domain. Bottom line is when he turns 18 Alabama considers him an adult. If he wants to go, you can't stop him, by the same token, unless you are under some sort of court order, you are not obligated to do anything financially for him.
The good news I have is that I saw tons of kids like this that eventually matured and became good people. Hang in there.
Lord, please help us get our nation straightened out.
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071299
01/26/24 05:51 PM
01/26/24 05:51 PM
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,350
Hoover
Fattyfireplug
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 14,350
Hoover
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I was him at one time. I know where he's coming from, or at least how he thinks. The only difference is I've always been a hard worker. I won't drag this out. A friend of my mothers took me in, listened. Let me stay with him a while. I don't remember much of our conversations now, but I needed his guidance. My dad wasn't around and mom, well... she was more interested in finding the next man. I was angry (seems to be a genetic trait) and lashing out. Bad home life. It almost caused me to not graduate. I think Pride was all I had left. He managed to tweak my pride and turn it into an "I'll show you." attitude. I've been working on that principle my entire life since. I knew right from wrong, had a sense of justice. I just needed someone to find a way to motivate me.
I didn't see him for a few decades. During a tornado cleanup with friends, I was working on his property and didn't even know it until he walked up to me. I was glad I was able to pay back some of his kindness and hate he passed a few years later without me seeing him again. He was not a perfect man. Very flawed. Probably was a bit of an alcoholic. But he was the man GOD put in front of me to guide me where I needed to be. And I'm forever thankful for him.
Sounds like your boy needs someone like that maybe?
Character is not developed in moments of temptation and trial. That is when it is intended to be used.
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071321
01/26/24 06:12 PM
01/26/24 06:12 PM
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 14,121
Chilton County
MarksOutdoors
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 14,121
Chilton County
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I would advise against sending him to live with his Mother. He's likely to get worse without the restraints of his father in his life. Tough situation for you.
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."
-G. K. Chesterton
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071337
01/26/24 06:29 PM
01/26/24 06:29 PM
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,602
McCalla
hoggin
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,602
McCalla
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I know I’ll take a beating but
A. I think add adhd is probably real and way over diagnosed and used as an excuse and I’ve proven it
B. I wrote the book you’re reading with my middle son until one day I beat his ass until my wife got between us. ADD/ADHD cured instantly and I dared him to call anyone cause when I get outta jail I’d finish what I started
All 3 of my younger boys were diagnosed and medicated for ADD/ADHD when they lived with their mother and were in terrible shape, terrible grades, kicked outta school over and over, disrespectful and general problems. I got custody of them when Austin was 10 and the twins were 7
The meds went away and the leather rolled in. By 9 the twins had completely turned around A students and all in on life, pleasures to be around although slightly hard headed like their mother. Both attended JCIB for Jr high and high school with honors Jt graduated early, Trevor graduates this year on schedule by choice as he to could has easily graduated. Austin was a challenge, better, but always something. He spent a year with nothing allowed in his room he didn’t wear or need to sleep. At 14 he decided to swing at me for “hitting” him with a belt. Belt down, ass whooping is on. Never had a disrespectful moment sense.
Austin is definitely slightly autistic and beyond intelligent read, write and speak 7 languages fluently self taught. Knows more about a computer than bill gates ever did, I’ve got friends who are professional IT guys that called him for help by the time he was 12. He now manages an IT department for the state of Florida and even though we disagree on a lot, we can be friends.
I’d say ass whoopin works
Waiting until mid to late teens to start would probably make things much more difficult but damn if I wouldn’t break a sweat trying
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071355
01/26/24 06:55 PM
01/26/24 06:55 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 42,247
UR 6
top cat
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 42,247
UR 6
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I had similar. Was given a book by a counselor. How to take control of your teenage child. Took some doing but finally worked. Good as gold 15 years later.
LUCK:::; When presistence, dedication, perspiration and preparation meet up with opportunity!!!
- - - - - - - -A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jeferson - - - - - - - -
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: hoggin]
#4071403
01/26/24 07:46 PM
01/26/24 07:46 PM
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,111
Covington county AL
Zzzfog
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,111
Covington county AL
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I know I’ll take a beating but
A. I think add adhd is probably real and way over diagnosed and used as an excuse and I’ve proven it
B. I wrote the book you’re reading with my middle son until one day I beat his ass until my wife got between us. ADD/ADHD cured instantly and I dared him to call anyone cause when I get outta jail I’d finish what I started
All 3 of my younger boys were diagnosed and medicated for ADD/ADHD when they lived with their mother and were in terrible shape, terrible grades, kicked outta school over and over, disrespectful and general problems. I got custody of them when Austin was 10 and the twins were 7
The meds went away and the leather rolled in. By 9 the twins had completely turned around A students and all in on life, pleasures to be around although slightly hard headed like their mother. Both attended JCIB for Jr high and high school with honors Jt graduated early, Trevor graduates this year on schedule by choice as he to could has easily graduated. Austin was a challenge, better, but always something. He spent a year with nothing allowed in his room he didn’t wear or need to sleep. At 14 he decided to swing at me for “hitting” him with a belt. Belt down, ass whooping is on. Never had a disrespectful moment sense.
Austin is definitely slightly autistic and beyond intelligent read, write and speak 7 languages fluently self taught. Knows more about a computer than bill gates ever did, I’ve got friends who are professional IT guys that called him for help by the time he was 12. He now manages an IT department for the state of Florida and even though we disagree on a lot, we can be friends.
I’d say ass whoopin works
Waiting until mid to late teens to start would probably make things much more difficult but damn if I wouldn’t break a sweat trying I whole heartedly concur!
Right and wrong will never change---only people's perception!
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Re: Troubled child?
[Re: Lockjaw]
#4071446
01/26/24 08:31 PM
01/26/24 08:31 PM
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 444
Lake View, AL
Justice
4 point
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4 point
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 444
Lake View, AL
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I've been a juvenile court magistrate and probation officer for 23 years, so I've seen your son (so to speak) and many ones much worse. In Alabama, he is considered an adult for criminal charges at 18, but the age of majority is 19. If you want him to be '"emancipated", you can file for a removal of disabilities of non-age to have him recognized as a legal adult prior to 19. However, if you want help through services and counseling, you can do so through the juvenile court system. If you're interested and want to, you can PM me and I'll give you my phone number and give you more details. Too much to type out. If you are in Chelsea you are most likely not in my jurisdiction, but I can tell you where to go and who to see. Just let me know if I can be of assistance.
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