I was asked this earlier and after giving it some thought, and I've witnessed plenty as a police officer, I came up with this. About 15 years ago as school shootings started to occur more frequently, or at least get more press, one of our local elementary schools wanted to have a drill. We had a meeting with myself representing the PD and the schools "Disaster Team" which consisted of the Principle and several teachers. Keep in mind, this is an elementary school, K-6th grade. Her plan was for the officers to use blanks saying she wanted it as real as possible. Stupid enough, but not the kicker. The kicker was that she insisted that none of the teachers, other than those on the Disaster Team, be aware of it and know that it was a drill. I, of course said no way that was going to happen and she was incredulous that we wouldn't do it her way. She said she would just go over my head to the Mayor, which I made him aware and he agreed with me, obviously. I tried to explain to her that if for no other reason, we wouldn't participate because one of the teachers may be armed. She insisted that wouldn't be a problem because that was against the school rules.

End result, all the teachers knew and all responded appropriately. They secured their rooms and put out the proper signal for all is safe in the room. There were no blanks fired and none of the kids were told someone is shooting up the school.

I know reading it sounds like it was a stupid plan, but the level of this woman's insistence that it be done her way is what makes it way over the top. To this day I still am amazed that this woman was in charge of the safety of a couple of hundred children. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't let her dog sit for me if I was leaving town for a couple of days.

My SIL

Married my exwife

My ex bro in law

Democrats! All of them!

When we were kids, one of the neighbors that lived up the road from us jumped about a 4 ft high makeshift ramp on a ragged bicycle with no seat. It just had the vertical rod that the seat mounted to. It didn't go so well when he landed.

A group of guys that volunteered at the fire department up here only to put out fires they themselves set in order to look cool. You didn't read that wrong.

Arrests were made.

Seems to be a common occurrence. That happened down here in Baldwin County a few years ago also.

That is pretty common. There have been many instances of full time firefighters setting fires as well. Although that is not as common.

A spike walk in front of me and shake his ass taunting me!!!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

I have a ton of them from things I’ve had clients say to a judge before. But, the stupidest of all of them was a guy that was convicted in a federal sex case. His daughter (not involved in the charges) and his ex wife spoke on behalf of the government and against him at sentencing. They were used to show a history of sexual abuse and thus that he deserved a longer sentence. His daughter testified that her father had sex with her from age 15 until she moved out of the house. She admitted it wasn’t rape, it was just incest. But, the dumbass client, when ask if he had anything to say before sentencing, stated very forcefully, while holding up one finger, “Your Honor, my daughter is a GD liar. I only had sex with her one time!”

I watched a friend of mine accidentally shoot a hole in his dad’s aluminum bass boat with a 12 gauge shotgun.

I had a neighbor get his yearly property tax bill and disagreed with the property assessment. Not like you’d think though. Most people argue its values too is listed too high and that they are paying too much in tax. He was disappointed with what the tax assessors office showed his value at though and argued it should be higher. The tax lady, nor myself, could ever get him to understand how the whole thing worked.

I have to agree. I did the same crazy azz thing.

I watched as a coworker poured 5 gallons of gasoline in about a 30 ft circle all around a sign out in front of my fathers car lot just north of Anniston. I was a teenager of about 14 and this guy was a few years older, early Twenties I guess. He had been told to get rid of the Kudzu growing up around the sign. Someone had suggested that gasoline would kill it. Ok, that part was my idea, but I had only meant to pour it on it and let it kill it slowly. When the guy reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter, I nearly schitted my pants. I was able to stop him but he was very insistent that he light it and absolutely wouldn't hear of anything else. I finally convinced him that if he was gonna light it, at least make a trail away from the main area that he had poured it. He was out of gas so he went next door to the filling station and got a few more gallons, then he proceeded to pour most of it in the same area with the 5 gallons. He had enough left to make a trail about 10 ft long. My idea was at least 100 ft. When he reached in his pocket again, I took off running back towards the office. There was about 7-1/2 gallons of gasoline in an area about 30 ft across and this IDOT was about to light it. I looked back just as the trail of gas was lit and the poor dumb IDOT spun around with an OH SCHITT!!! look on his face as he was knocked flat down. There was a big WHOOOOM sound and it looked like a nuclear mushroom cloud climbing into the sky. There were cars and trucks running off of HWY 431 and it rattled the sliding glass doors on the office building. After the splosion, I ran back to check on the IDOT. He was fine except for some of the hair on the back of his head was singed off. As I got there where he was just then getting up, a chunk of Kudzu fell out of the sky. A few moments later a police officer pulled up to the gas station next door, talked to the attendant for a minute or two, then came on over to the car lot. He talked to my father who had pulled up right before the officer got there, so he knew nothing. IDOT pretended he knew nothing, and I just stood there looking at the ground and shaking my head.

Damn, you married her also?

May not be the stupidest I have seen but the first thing that comes to mind is a local mayor candidate who used the following as part of his campaign points...... "Something has to be done for kids in school during tornadoes, I will get football helmets for every kid school. My question to him. Who will build the building to store said helmets or will they keep them in their backpacks?

Another is a police pilot (I assume a drug crew as they all had on plain clothes and most had snake boots except the one in the pilot jump suit) eating in a restaurant. The pilot who was carrying in an under the arm holster politely to unload his sidearm, point it at the floor or at least move seats to point it at the exterior wall. His response was that it would not "just go off" and that he was not moving seats. I realise that I could have the same situation of folks with concealed weapons, but from trained law enforcement I thought that was not a smart move. Looking back it would have been a stupid move on my part and two wrongs don't make a right, but I was fired up over his response and I had made my mind up to lay mine on the table in his direction so he got the same feeling as I had looking down the barrel. I was glad they convinced him to move.

Guy checked the sharpness of my knife once, I told him it was sharp. Didnt believe me.

A guy I "used" to hunt with shot a spike one morning. Now on this club it was 6 points or better at the time, he said he thought it was a doe, but then he said this doe worked a scrape at the far end of the field. Anyway he asked me to help him look for it, which I will do for anyone, and I did. There wasn't any blood I could find, just hair and meat. I walked down to the creek and see him laying in water. I went back to get Tom. I didn't have my rifle with me at the time. We walked down to the creek and when he saw his deer was still alive and looking at us, he said he didn't want to mess up any of the meat so he would just walk up to him and slit his throat. The buck had 10" spikes sticking straight up. After what seemed like forever talking to a brick wall, I talked him out of it. He finally said he would shoot it in the head. He walks up to about 10 feet from him and proceeds to fire shot after shot at this poor deer. 6 shots later, and me getting behind a tree because when he reloaded the rifle he pointed it right at me, the little feller was put out of his misery. I was glad to get out of there. A few years later, I find out this guy lost his house because he just quit paying for it thinking the world was about to come to an end in 2012.