JMHO with your dislike/phobia of climbers a wrap around sit and climb climber is the way to go with you; i.e. Summit Viper SD. I used to not use ladder stands because I liked the bar around me in my old API. Made me feel safer; I would hope you would be the same. Now I have gotten over the need for the bar, and hunt ladder stands and have switched to a lone wolf hand climber as my main climber due to weight and stealthiness through the woods.

Once you get a climber, practice practice practice. The more you climb the more confident and comfortable you will be.

On cell signal, may be worth checking Verizon's and AT&Ts coverage in the areas you are going to be hunting. I hunt solo a lot and I had to switch to AT&T because Verizon didn't deem it cost efficient to put towers up in the area of the WMA and my lease (funnily enough Verizon is putting towers up out there now). AT&T put one up on the main road into the WMA, so I get HSPA+(step below LTE) speeds and great connectivity so long as I'm not in the deepest draws. The smaller carriers don't really fool with the rural areas so almost have to stick with the big boys.