"The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Prov. 16:9
We, as sinners, have an instinct to do things our way. Having goals, personal plans, etc. is a very good thing....just let the Lord guide you to them if it is in his will. Stay strong brother. We all have been where you are and most all will likely be there again. You will be the encouraging word next time.