Another coworker used to see something crazy and say "Well, that's messed up like a football bat."
My favorite: As children, we knew we were about to be in deep trouble with my grand mother when she said "Boy, I'm fixin to cloud up and storm on you!" or "You and me's about to go to war!" This was always followed by a good whoopin or a trip to pick up rocks and pull weeds in her gardens.
