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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317 |
So dumb you cant tell chit from shinola.Batshit crazy.
Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,095
ishootatbux
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ishootatbux
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,095 |
Harder than woodpecker lips.
I thought I was the only person on earth who said that!! 
We were on the edge of Eternia, when the power of Greyskull began to take hold.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,622
Panty Wearin' Hunter
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Panty Wearin' Hunter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,622 |
I know she can't help the way she looks but she could have stayed at home! 
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 20,017
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 20,017 |
I'm so hungry the air smells like oil sausage.
An old descriptive line for some extremely poor quality soil/sandy here in NW Fl: You could lay down there with three young whores and couldn't get and erection.
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 519
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 519 |
You'd rather sandpaper a wildcats ass than mess with me.
Screwed up as a ------- check book
You step on a rattlesnake you're bound to get bit
To be the man you've got to beat the man
I feel like a coyote ate me and chit me off a 40 foot cliff
Raining like a cow pissing off a 40 foot cliff on a flat rock
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 545
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 545 |
"You're so full of chit your eyes are brown."
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,779
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,779 |
Someone asks a question which would obviously be answered "yes" and my coworker would say "Does a one legged duck swim in circles?"
Lost as a termite in a wooden yo yo.
My pastor once said "What's the matter with you? You look a mule eatin brars."
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 14,324 Likes: 5
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 14,324 Likes: 5 |
I'm so hungry my butthole is chewing on my underwear
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,661
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,661 |
You got enough money to burn a wet mule.
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,779
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,779 |
I just thought of a few more:
Another coworker used to see something crazy and say "Well, that's messed up like a football bat."
My favorite:
As children, we knew we were about to be in deep trouble with my grand mother when she said "Boy, I'm fixin to cloud up and storm on you!" or "You and me's about to go to war!" This was always followed by a good whoopin or a trip to pick up rocks and pull weeds in her gardens.
Last edited by BrotherTurtle; 03/07/14 04:45 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,229 Likes: 7
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,229 Likes: 7 |
My son was watching Looney Toons last night and Foghorn Leghorn said "the snow is so deep the farmers have to jack the cows up to milk them" my first thought was of this thread. I'd never heard it before.
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steelman
Unregistered
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steelman
Unregistered
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Worked like a borrowed mule
Feel so good i could sandpaper a bobcats azz
That boy is wide open, high speed low drag and teflon coated
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steelman
Unregistered
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steelman
Unregistered
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At camp a few years ago one of the guys farted and another guy without missing a beat said "sounds better since leroy tuned it up for you" it was hillarious
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 14,324 Likes: 5
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 14,324 Likes: 5 |
when i fart.
oh that wasnt me, it was that a$$hole behind me.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547
Used to be TiderBD
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Used to be TiderBD
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547 |
When your buddy comes back from the bushes after doing a deuce tell him it looks like he pulled his pants up on the wrong pile.
A servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.
USAF Veteran
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,299 Likes: 71
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,299 Likes: 71 |
Was your food good?
"Well, it'll make a turd".
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,423
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,423 |
"It's comin a toad strangler out here"
"This one is gonna be a turd floater"
"I'm busier than a cat covering chit and you are asking questions"
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Mark Twain
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,309 Likes: 2
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,309 Likes: 2 |
Wide open like a Case knife
"It's not how hard you can hit, it's how hard you can get hit and keep going" Rocky Balboa
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 145
3 point
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3 point
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 145 |
its gonaa rain a#$ hole deep to a 10 foot indiain.
gonna snow neck deep to a giraph.
im bout to knock a terd outta you thatll whistle like a lost fright train.
slicker than a minnows pecker.
madder than 400 hells.
it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minuets.
Last edited by scb; 03/07/14 09:20 AM.
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steelman
Unregistered
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steelman
Unregistered
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Case knife. Cut,azz, so, easy
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