Originally Posted By: Hunting-231
I am very sorry for the troubles you and your family are going through. If I might make a couple of recommendations and I hope I don't offend you, in regards to the well-being of you and your children.

1. If you do not attend church regularly, I would start and try to take your children every single time - this will give you good quality time with your children.
2. Don't discuss your wife in any manner other than positive with your children.
3. Make every attempt to be the primary caregiver with joint custody.
4. Stay as involved as possible with your children.
5. Avoid alcohol and/or drugs - it will not lessen the pain. Avoid the bar scene at all cost.
6. Take up a physical hobby that you can do at home i.e. woodcarving, metalwork, rebuild a car...etc. Something that you can see results at the end of the day.
7. Don't get in a hurry to start dating - since you don't want the divorce, there will be several stages with denial being the longest that you will go through prior to accepting the fact that the relationship is over.

Best wishes for all concerned.


X2!

Great advice. Infidelity wrecks trust and destroys what God designed as sacred. You didn't choose a broken marriage but yet it is right at your doorstep. You have choices to make now that will have deep and long lasting impacts.

But most importantly, you have two children that are watching you to see what you will say, how you will act, and your entire attitude. I'd encourage you to get some wise and good Christ-centered counsel for yourself. Divorce is destructive in many ways, so start this week getting emotionally prepared.

Talk it through with your children in a way that they can see you love them and that you can be loving-kind-gentle with your wife even if what you really feel is hate and anger at times. You have to choose now how you will react and what that will teach your kids as they are watching your every move. Kids are so perceptive. They can see and recognize good hearts, good character, love, peace and patience. Model that for them even though you've been wronged. If you need to confess your own shortcomings and faults, that is important for them to hear also because it shows that you are being open, honest and truthful.

I'd also encourage you to find a support group called Divorce Care through a local church. It is a fine program that relies on the love of Christ to help you through the difficulties and to put everything into Godly perspective--not a worldly perspective.

I'll pray for you.

"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8

"Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt.� Samuel Adams