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TrkyHntr #876811 02/25/14 04:04 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,595
Bright Eyes
Bright Eyes
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,595
Shane start a regular exercise program, also.


Matt Brock wears knock-off Crocs.
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,000
12 point
12 point
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,000
Prayer sent! But rememeber what doekiller said! At some point you may want to hire a lawyer, their is no reason a man cant get custody of his children!!! I had 1 of the bloodiest divorces a man can have. I wouldnt have whised it on my worst enemy! I have had custody of my daughter for 10 years now! I hope you can work thing out with your wife but if you cant. Hire a good deteive and a GREAT lawyer!

TrkyHntr #876818 02/25/14 04:07 AM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 26,325
Freak of Nature
Freak of Nature
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 26,325
Prayers lifted and follow some of the good advice on here. Especially about getting a good lawyer and fight for your kids.


"I'm not near as critical about how big they are as I once was. Smiles are more important now! We will grow more deer."
Jimmy G.
TrkyHntr #876827 02/25/14 04:20 AM
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,696
R
10 point
10 point
R Offline
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,696
Divorce was probably the toughest thing Ive been thru so far in my life.
Sometimes things work out for the better though. Keep close to the kids and make sure they are # 1 and things will get better with time.


Ethical behavior is doing the right thing when no one else is watching - even when doing the wrong thing is legal. Aldo Leopold .. (except when it comes to trailer tags)
TrkyHntr #876839 02/25/14 04:28 AM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 3,882
B
10 point
10 point
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 3,882
Praying for you and your family.

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547
Used to be TiderBD
Used to be TiderBD
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547
There's some great advice being given here. I've been through it and it certainly takes time. I'm still adjusting 4 years after my divorce.

I've centered my life around my 13 year old son and have made it a mission to talk with my maker everyday through prayer. Take all those feelings your having and tell God about them. I even pray for my ex wife and you'll be amazed at how cleansing it is to rid your soul of hate. We are all here for you!!!!


A servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.


USAF Veteran
TrkyHntr #876867 02/25/14 05:00 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,074
W
6 point
6 point
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,074
Divorces are extremely expensive, especially if y'all have kids. Sorry to hear it but you'll most likely be a lot happier afterwards if y'all have had a rocky marriage like you said.

Divorce is expensive and worth every penny!

And DUDE if she has cheated on you twice why in the hell are you still married to her? Yikes!!!!

Last edited by WhiteCityHunter; 02/25/14 05:01 AM.
TrkyHntr #876878 02/25/14 05:06 AM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,057
on probation
on probation
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,057
Keep your head up man. If you ever need to vent or talk just post on here and vent to us or heck you can PM me and vent all you need to. One good thing is you have a good group of guys on here that are willing to help in a drop of a hat. Chin up and take care of the kids they are what is important.

Prayers are on the the Way for you and your kids.

TChunter #876898 02/25/14 05:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 134
3 point
3 point
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 134
Like TC said, solid advice. One thing I will add from my experience is that once you get over the hurt and get mad, things get better. Never give up fighting for your kids and be as honest with them as you can, depending on their age. Also, find someone that you can talk to that is unbiased. Best of luck man. It's hard but it does get better.
Originally Posted By: TChunter
Originally Posted By: Hunting-231
I am very sorry for the troubles you and your family are going through. If I might make a couple of recommendations and I hope I don't offend you, in regards to the well-being of you and your children.

1. If you do not attend church regularly, I would start and try to take your children every single time - this will give you good quality time with your children.
2. Don't discuss your wife in any manner other than positive with your children.
3. Make every attempt to be the primary caregiver with joint custody.
4. Stay as involved as possible with your children.
5. Avoid alcohol and/or drugs - it will not lessen the pain. Avoid the bar scene at all cost.
6. Take up a physical hobby that you can do at home i.e. woodcarving, metalwork, rebuild a car...etc. Something that you can see results at the end of the day.
7. Don't get in a hurry to start dating - since you don't want the divorce, there will be several stages with denial being the longest that you will go through prior to accepting the fact that the relationship is over.

Best wishes for all concerned.



SOLID advice right there.


Never give up something that you love for a dollar. In the end, you may be wealthy but inside, you are broke.
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 630
4 point
4 point
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 630
This is about the best advise a man could give. Focus on your kids and pray for peace for you AND your wife. I know it is hard to pray for someone that has cheated on you and your kids but she needs prayers too. It is possible that after all the pain, hate and betrayal goes away that you and your wife can have a friendly relationship that will be better for your kids. I have done it. For years me and my ex had birthday party's and get togethers for our daughter and it was so much easier on her. Of course it didn't hurt my feelings that I had a younger much hotter companion by my side to flaunt.


" I don't kill innocent animals, only the ones who look guilty"
TrkyHntr #876907 02/25/14 05:18 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 533
4 point
4 point
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 533
You have some good advise here, its NOT you! Keep your head up and ill say some prayers for you.

TrkyHntr #876930 02/25/14 05:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 738
4 point
4 point
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 738
Prayers sent. Stay away from the bottle, fight dirty and remember that tomorrow's a new day.


Aim. Breathe. Squeeze.
TrkyHntr #876947 02/25/14 05:36 AM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 594
4 point
4 point
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 594
Yes it hurts. I went a long time thinking I could fix mine. Had to finally realize that you can't make someone love you. I hit rock bottom, and then I hit my knees. First time in my life that I knew without a doubt that God was talking to me. Today, I'm as happy living my life as I've ever been. As others have said, it will get better. Hang in there brother.

jsh1904 #876982 02/25/14 06:00 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 916
C
6 point
6 point
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 916
Sorry to hear man. My parents divorced and I was really close to dad. There wasn't a day we didn't talk on the phone. That meant a lot to me. I didn't have a game he didnt try to make.

Stay as close as you can to those kids.

Chad


The only reason I hunt ducks is to watch the dogs work.

Good boy Jock
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,238
12 point
12 point
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,238
Originally Posted By: Hunting-231
I am very sorry for the troubles you and your family are going through. If I might make a couple of recommendations and I hope I don't offend you, in regards to the well-being of you and your children.

1. If you do not attend church regularly, I would start and try to take your children every single time - this will give you good quality time with your children.
2. Don't discuss your wife in any manner other than positive with your children.
3. Make every attempt to be the primary caregiver with joint custody.
4. Stay as involved as possible with your children.
5. Avoid alcohol and/or drugs - it will not lessen the pain. Avoid the bar scene at all cost.
6. Take up a physical hobby that you can do at home i.e. woodcarving, metalwork, rebuild a car...etc. Something that you can see results at the end of the day.
7. Don't get in a hurry to start dating - since you don't want the divorce, there will be several stages with denial being the longest that you will go through prior to accepting the fact that the relationship is over.

Best wishes for all concerned.


I have said a prayer for you, I believe this sums it up. Hang in there.


WM Hunter "Trump literally sacrificed himself, his family and all of his businesses for this country.
He literally is a true American hero. And True American Patriot - warts and all."
TrkyHntr #876993 02/25/14 06:08 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 16,401
Old Mossy Horns
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 16,401
Hate to hear that better than being stuck in a bad relationship


We will burn that bridge when we get there
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,319
Old Mossy Horns
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,319

Originally Posted By: Hunting-231
I am very sorry for the troubles you and your family are going through. If I might make a couple of recommendations and I hope I don't offend you, in regards to the well-being of you and your children.

1. If you do not attend church regularly, I would start and try to take your children every single time - this will give you good quality time with your children.
2. Don't discuss your wife in any manner other than positive with your children.
3. Make every attempt to be the primary caregiver with joint custody.
4. Stay as involved as possible with your children.
5. Avoid alcohol and/or drugs - it will not lessen the pain. Avoid the bar scene at all cost.
6. Take up a physical hobby that you can do at home i.e. woodcarving, metalwork, rebuild a car...etc. Something that you can see results at the end of the day.
7. Don't get in a hurry to start dating - since you don't want the divorce, there will be several stages with denial being the longest that you will go through prior to accepting the fact that the relationship is over.

Best wishes for all concerned.


X2!

Great advice. Infidelity wrecks trust and destroys what God designed as sacred. You didn't choose a broken marriage but yet it is right at your doorstep. You have choices to make now that will have deep and long lasting impacts.

But most importantly, you have two children that are watching you to see what you will say, how you will act, and your entire attitude. I'd encourage you to get some wise and good Christ-centered counsel for yourself. Divorce is destructive in many ways, so start this week getting emotionally prepared.

Talk it through with your children in a way that they can see you love them and that you can be loving-kind-gentle with your wife even if what you really feel is hate and anger at times. You have to choose now how you will react and what that will teach your kids as they are watching your every move. Kids are so perceptive. They can see and recognize good hearts, good character, love, peace and patience. Model that for them even though you've been wronged. If you need to confess your own shortcomings and faults, that is important for them to hear also because it shows that you are being open, honest and truthful.

I'd also encourage you to find a support group called Divorce Care through a local church. It is a fine program that relies on the love of Christ to help you through the difficulties and to put everything into Godly perspective--not a worldly perspective.

I'll pray for you.


"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8

"Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt.� Samuel Adams
straycat #877066 02/25/14 06:58 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,800
3
10 point
10 point
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,800
A lot of good advice here, mostly from hard-earned experience. I would suggest making a list of some of these points and trying to focus on it. When you think that you just don't know how you're going to get through it all, just remember, your children are going to need you. If you aren't in this world for them, who is going to be left that they can really trust and depend on. There were a lot of days that my kids were the only reason I could think of the keep going. It's hard, but it WILL get better. Your experience will help you eventually find someone you can love and trust.

TrkyHntr #877085 02/25/14 07:16 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 10,007
A
Booner
Booner
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 10,007
Prayers sent. I never heard either of my parents say anything bad about the other from age 7 forward. If you ever want to vent about the ex, do it here and not in front of the kids.

TrkyHntr #877132 02/25/14 08:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 5,124
S
12 point
12 point
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 5,124
Hire an assasin...prayers sent

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