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Key:
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Global Mod,
Mod
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 14,831
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 14,831 |
Hate to hear that for anyone....
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bamabuck888
Unregistered
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bamabuck888
Unregistered
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 921
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 921 |
I'll be praying for u man i went thru it back in 2008.
Jesus died for you,what are you doing for him?
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 9,037
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 9,037 |
I really hate to hear this, but it sounds like she was the main problem. She's broke and only God can fix her.
Whatever you do, fight hard to have as much time as possible with your kids. They need you.
Take your kids hunting instead of hunting your kids.
I'd rather be LOST in the woods than FOUND in the city.
Drive a hybrid, I need your gas.
Your mind is your primary weapon. Never let it get rusty.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 25,295
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 25,295 |
There are things in a marriage where your spouse can hurt you more than you love them and cheating is the main one. Once that line is crossed there is no fixing it IMO. Every time you throw dirt on someone you lose a little ground. Hang in there and spend any and all the time you can with your children.
Proud Army and ALNG veteran
God Bless America!
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 47
spike
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spike
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 47 |
Always remember those kids come first. A man will put up with a lot for his babies. Anybody that will criticize this man for wanting to hang on to his marriage has no idea what its like. I've put up with a lot in 20 years of marriage and now that my kids are older they know now just how much I've always loved them.
You just keep your head up, pray, and the Lord will take care of everything.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,329
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,329 |
"Said I never had much use for one; never said I didn't know how to use it".
-Matthew Quigley in "Quigley Down Under"
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,522
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,522 |
Don't blame yourself for her cheating,she would have done it no matter how good you were to her,put your kids first and realize you don't want to be with a woman like that
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,577
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,577 |
Hang in there. Prayers for sure! You tried and done what you could, dust off your feet and move on. Just be sure to keep the children completely out of your issues. I've been there and have never regretted shielding our son from all the BS.
‘Obama Is the Greatest Hoax Ever Perpetrated on the American People’ - Clint Eastwood
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437 |
At some point, when you discover there is no going back, you have to move forward. Get a good lawyer. If you want the kids, go for them. No reason for you not to have custody. Good luck.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 501
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 501 |
At some point, when you discover there is no going back, you have to move forward. Get a good lawyer. If you want the kids, go for them. No reason for you not to have custody. Good luck. 
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401 |
You got any nekkid pictures of her? Too soon...(but I like where your head's at) Prayers sent you you man.
Last edited by TChunter; 02/25/14 03:25 AM.
On the Eighth day God created flounder.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156 |
"Just remember a gobbler has to win every time, you only have to win once"
BC
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,573
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,573 |
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 8,248 Likes: 1
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 8,248 Likes: 1 |
I am very sorry for the troubles you and your family are going through. If I might make a couple of recommendations and I hope I don't offend you, in regards to the well-being of you and your children.
1. If you do not attend church regularly, I would start and try to take your children every single time - this will give you good quality time with your children.
2. Don't discuss your wife in any manner other than positive with your children.
3. Make every attempt to be the primary caregiver with joint custody.
4. Stay as involved as possible with your children.
5. Avoid alcohol and/or drugs - it will not lessen the pain. Avoid the bar scene at all cost.
6. Take up a physical hobby that you can do at home i.e. woodcarving, metalwork, rebuild a car...etc. Something that you can see results at the end of the day.
7. Don't get in a hurry to start dating - since you don't want the divorce, there will be several stages with denial being the longest that you will go through prior to accepting the fact that the relationship is over.
Best wishes for all concerned.
"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow."
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401 |
I am very sorry for the troubles you and your family are going through. If I might make a couple of recommendations and I hope I don't offend you, in regards to the well-being of you and your children.
1. If you do not attend church regularly, I would start and try to take your children every single time - this will give you good quality time with your children.
2. Don't discuss your wife in any manner other than positive with your children.
3. Make every attempt to be the primary caregiver with joint custody.
4. Stay as involved as possible with your children.
5. Avoid alcohol and/or drugs - it will not lessen the pain. Avoid the bar scene at all cost.
6. Take up a physical hobby that you can do at home i.e. woodcarving, metalwork, rebuild a car...etc. Something that you can see results at the end of the day.
7. Don't get in a hurry to start dating - since you don't want the divorce, there will be several stages with denial being the longest that you will go through prior to accepting the fact that the relationship is over.
Best wishes for all concerned. SOLID advice right there.
On the Eighth day God created flounder.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 7,906
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 7,906 |
Just remember she cheated on you way more than twice. Thats just what you caught her at. No truer words can be said ... If you found out 2x then its probable that shes been at it for a whole lot more than you know about. I've been there too brother. I forgave my ex wife the first time and thought we had made it through the bad stuff but then it happened again. Second time I went on the offensive and won custody of my 2 daughters. Now, 12 years later, my daughters are a huge blessing to me and neither one of them has ever given me a lick of trouble. I really just want to offer up 3 things for ya ... 1) Cheating is rarely about the other spouse, it usually indicates a character defect and other issues related to the cheater. Don't let your guilt over your own mistakes lead you to believe she was justified because she wasn't 2) God wants your children and you are the only person qualified to lead them to Him. Take charge and do exactly that, God will bless both you and your children 3) Prayers for peace and strength coming your way ...
I don't want to pass quietly into the night. I want to slide in sideways kickin and screamin
Life really is awesome ... Soak it up while you can ...
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 7,049
Picker
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Picker
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 7,049 |
Hunter321 said it all. Let your children not only see but trust that you are their ROCK and let Christ be the anchor that holds you in place. I don't have anything other to say except I hate your having to face this, but your not alone. Remember, she is the one with the problem. I'll pray for you, your wife and your kids without fail.
Last edited by Booger; 02/25/14 03:51 AM.
GO NOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,103
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,103 |
You are in a tough spot in your life right now, but you will come out of this a better person and a better father. I looks dark at the moment but things will get better. It may take a while but it will get better.
You have been given some good advice already. It is up to you what you do with it but I hope you put all of your focus on your kids and yourself right now and trust that God will get you through this.
ROLL TIDE !!!
Enough Said....
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,410
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,410 |
Prayers sent Shane. And I also agree with the comments above to keep your kids as your main focus, and attend a local church. Let your kids know that you love them, always have, always will. And also let your kids know that it is NOT THEIR FAULT that y'all are getting a divorce.
Jesus... I hope you know Him personally like I do.
Si vis pacem, para bellum.
Proud crossbow hunter!
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