The older I get, the less I know.
The answers I had yesterday, will be questions I have tomorrow.
The gray whiskers, in my beard, are now the majority.
When you find an old girlfriend, on Facebook, she isn't going to be the beauty she was 25 years ago.
When she finds you, on Facebook, delete your profile and run like hell.


I hate making a good first impression. There’s no way I can keep that shit up.