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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 764
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 764 |
That mosquito is so big he could stand flat footed and rape a chicken.
Shakin the trees and raking the leaves!
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 40,057 Likes: 138
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 40,057 Likes: 138 |
" well , I'll swan"
"dad blame"
"so black, when he farts, soot comes out"
" I'm so hungry, ever time I swaller my ass says thank ye."
"Why do you ask"?
Too many people spend money they don't have , on things they don't need, to impress people they don't know.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 388
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 388 |
Been to two World Fairs and a goat screwin' and aint never seen such as this I've been to two county fairs, a goat roping and a cock fight and I aint never seen nothing like this....
�A free people ought to be armed.� George Washington
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 225 Likes: 5
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 225 Likes: 5 |
It's hotter than a boiled owl.
If you are gonna be stupid you better be tough.
That's harder than a brick bat.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,299 Likes: 71
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,299 Likes: 71 |
"That boys two bricks shy of a load."
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 995
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 995 |
Slicker than owl s_it on a okra plate
Stomach so messed up I could s_it through a screen door
Drunk as cooter brown
Drunk as a bicycle
kill em all let God sort em out
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 388
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 388 |
you'd bitch if your nuts were caught in a gold vise....
�A free people ought to be armed.� George Washington
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,159
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,159 |
He's as tight as the bark on a tree. (won't spend money)
He would make a cup of coffee nervous.
Is you for me, or is you ain't?
Last edited by Pass_the_Buck; 08/12/13 06:28 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,270 Likes: 1
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,270 Likes: 1 |
It's hotter than a set of jumper cables at a colored funeral.
It rained so much it washed the dogs out from under the porch.
If that boy lost one IQ point you'd have to water him to keep him alive.
That boy's sorrier than gulley dirt.
"I'd rather go down the river with seven studs than with a hundred ****heads"
- Colonel Charlie Beckwith
Founder Delta Force
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,453
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,453 |
If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we'd all have a Merry Christmas.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 27,515 Likes: 29
Talking Turkey
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Talking Turkey
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 27,515 Likes: 29 |
His luck is so bad if it was raining p***y he would pick up one with a pecker in it. Winner! I actually LOL on that one.  I think Shaw speaks from experience.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,388 Likes: 3
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 6,388 Likes: 3 |
When my granddad would see something he didn't like (like some commercials on TV), he would say, "That makes my butt want to chew chewing gum."
Had a baseball coach who's favorite saying when someone made an error or swung at a bad pitch, "Well I'll be a suckass mule."
"Said I never had much use for one; never said I didn't know how to use it".
-Matthew Quigley in "Quigley Down Under"
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 694
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 694 |
retired 6 Saturdays and one Sunday
I am lucky, I don't have as far to go as I have been!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,583 Likes: 24
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,583 Likes: 24 |
You can't push a rope
Gotta see a man about a dog
Been rode hard and put up wet
They don't have a pot to piss in
That's like pulling hens teeth
The only difference between you and a bag of #%&@..is the bag
I've gotta pee like a rushing race horse
Barking up the wrong tree
Either fish or cut bait
That dog will hunt
Quit sitting there like a bump on a log (or a bump on a pickle, as my grandmother used to say)
He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper sack
Last edited by straycat; 08/13/13 05:26 AM.
"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8
"Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt.� Samuel Adams
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,702
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,702 |
Hotter than a double pecker rooster in a hen house
Let them walk ...and grow them big
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