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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,767
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,767 |
NOT MINE!!! So, here goes...
My step-daugter (my late wife's daughter) is getting hitched in March. Her immediate family lives in FL and has told her that they are probably not going to attend, (Eclectic/Central area weddin) and the fact that her real Dad is a pain in the (well, you fill in with explicitives) I have a feeling it is going to be left up to me at assist them in getting this wedding paid for... Do you think I should just tell her that I will take of it, or should I offer to pay half? I love this girl and after her mom passed away, she has really made every effort to stay in contact with me...
Quite a few of you know her, or at least met her at Guntersville... Sheridan is her name.. Her future husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan and will be home early Feb and is stationed at Beale AFB, CA (where they will live after they married)
Any comments or suggestions?? BTW, this is going to be an outdoor wedding and I have already been told I cannot wear Camo... even though it will be turkey season, she has already told me NO!
"Honor to the soldier, and Sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country's cause. Honor also to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field, and serves, as he best can, the same cause." --Abraham Lincoln
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 16,909 Likes: 41
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 16,909 Likes: 41 |
It sounds like the right thing to do. As long as they are okay with it.
We will burn that bridge when we get there
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437 |
If it was me, I would tell her that I want her to have a beautiful wedding and that I would pay for what ever part of it she wanted me to pay for unless her biological father was already doing so.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,569 Likes: 23
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 19,569 Likes: 23 |
"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8
"Neither the wisest constitution nor the wisest laws will secure the liberty and happiness of a people whose manners are universally corrupt.� Samuel Adams
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,882
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,882 |
Offer her cash money. My pa-in-law offered it to my wife. She couldn't resist the urge to walk down the aisle.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 9,027 Likes: 10
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 9,027 Likes: 10 |
Do what your heart leads you to do.
The left lane is for the the purpose of moving the flow of traffic forward regardless of the speed limit. If your impeding the flow of traffic get your ass in the right lane. It's really that simple...
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 23,780 Likes: 45
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 23,780 Likes: 45 |
I'd be inclined to suggest you take care of her as long as it doesn't get out of hand. You're just the better man in her life.
BESIDES, you want to stay on the best of terms with anyone who is going to be living at Beale AFB. I lived there as a kid and it is absolutely a paradise for someone who likes to hunt and fish.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,268 Likes: 63
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,268 Likes: 63 |
If you want her to have a quality wedding and things not get forgotten, then take charge of it yourself. Ask for the other side to chip in, set a limit, and do it yourself. I've experienced dead-beat parents of the bride. They'll just play stupid and sit back and allow things (decorations, cakes, clothes, food/drink, etc)to fall through the cracks. Weddings don't have to be elaborate or expensive........just assembled with love and care.
Nathan Carl Goff 19 Sept 2016 - 14 Jan 2017.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,103
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,103 |
What would you do if her mom were still alive?
ROLL TIDE !!!
Enough Said....
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 26,561 Likes: 166
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 26,561 Likes: 166 |
If it was me, I would tell her that I want her to have a beautiful wedding and that I would pay for what ever part of it she wanted me to pay for unless her biological father was already doing so. this
“Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it.” ― Ronald Reagan
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 6,076 Likes: 19
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 6,076 Likes: 19 |
Biology doesn't make a father, sounds like you are the real Dad and doing what a real Dad does, worrying about his daughter and trying to help. I expect you've alraedy decided to do what you can to help her but my vote is help any way you can. Good man...
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,574
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,574 |
You know better than anyone all the details of the various relationships of all involved. Your decision, but I think you have already made up your mind and know what needs to be done. Good luck and God bless this new family.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,569 Likes: 7
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,569 Likes: 7 |
Offer her cash money. My pa-in-law offered it to my wife. She couldn't resist the urge to walk down the aisle. Funny you say that....YEARS after my wife and I got married, my father in law one day said, "I never figured out why you didn't just take the money." Huh?? "What are you talking about" I asked. When he realized I was serious and had no clue what he was talking about, he went on to tell me about the $12,000 cash he offered to "us" (my wife NEVER told me about the offer) to just go to the courthouse! I told him I would have taken the money and ran, and he said he wished I did as it would have been cheaper! I can only laugh about it now......I guess the wife wanted the big beautiful wedding more than cash money!
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 102
Alpha Doe
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Alpha Doe
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 102 |
If you have the finances available I'm sure it would really help her and she would really appreciate it. If not, just do what you can.
Girls hunt too and might be better than you!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 22,603 Likes: 22
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 22,603 Likes: 22 |
Biology doesn't make a father, sounds like you are the real Dad and doing what a real Dad does, worrying about his daughter and trying to help. I expect you've alraedy decided to do what you can to help her but my vote is help any way you can. Good man... X2!
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,636 Likes: 17
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,636 Likes: 17 |
If you want her to have a quality wedding and things not get forgotten, then take charge of it yourself. Ask for the other side to chip in, set a limit, and do it yourself. I've experienced dead-beat parents of the bride. They'll just play stupid and sit back and allow things (decorations, cakes, clothes, food/drink, etc)to fall through the cracks. Weddings don't have to be elaborate or expensive........just assembled with love and care. ^^^ This
Jesus... I hope you know Him personally like I do.
Si vis pacem, para bellum.
Proud crossbow hunter!
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,767
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,767 |
Thanks for the comments guys.. it is really appreciated. Spoke with her last night after she asked me, "How do I tell my step-mom that I really don't want her BF to come to the wedding?"
Background, Her step-mom is still married and not yet divorced from her Father! I told her to wait and see what happens, we still have time before you tell her you don't want him there.. but, if the divorce if final prior to your wedding, no big deal.. but she ain't sitting in the front row! She can sit in the second row with her BF.. If they are not divorced yet and she is still insisting on bringing her BF.. then I told her to tell her, "Mom, I really hate you won't be able to attend my wedding since you are still married to dad and you insist on bringing your boyfriend." Of course, a fight will ensue and I am sure the cops will be called if that happens.. her SM is a pain in the @$$!!!! and I believe I will have to bring my shotgun to make sure these two kids get married without a fight ensuing amongst family members.
I also asked her if her father was going to help her with the financial part of the wedding.. she didn't know as they are not much on speaking terms... so I told her don't worry about the cost, just try to keep it under (a certain amount) and she thanked me for offering to do this for her. I love this child as if she were my own blood and hate to see her stress.. she has enough to think about without all this freekin family drama..
thanks again for everything ya'll.. just the beginning of the drama and I hope and pray they have a beautiful future together..
"Honor to the soldier, and Sailor everywhere, who bravely bears his country's cause. Honor also to the citizen who cares for his brother in the field, and serves, as he best can, the same cause." --Abraham Lincoln
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