Aldeer.com Forums Alabama Deer Talk Aldeer General Forum Want to know what evil looks like?

I technically have a “biological brother”. I call him that because DNA is the ONLY similarity we have. He’s a real piece of sh!t that has some major problems, addictions, etc…. He removed himself from our family back in 2015 when my parents finally stopped enabling him and cut off his funds. He told me before he cut us off, “when our parents die, don’t even bother contacting him”. So when Pop died, in 2020, I honored his wishes. Didn’t even list him in the obituary as a survivor. He’s moved all over the country and ended up in Deep South Florida. He doesn’t know I know where he lives but by coincidence, a kid we grew up with is a LEO about 40 miles from there and says “the sibling” has quite the reputation, and that it’s just a matter of time before he crosses the wrong person down there. Thursday was mom’s 81st birthday and Friday would have been hers and pop’s 62nd wedding anniversary. We got a box delivered on Friday by FedEx but I didn’t bother even getting it in because the wife is always ordering something and I just leave them for her. One of the boys got it in the other night and yesterday morning the wife asked me about it. I told her I didn’t know what it was, that I figured she had ordered it. She looks at the box and says it’s from 1-800- flowers, addressed to mom. I opened the box and it was a bouquet of flowers and had a card there. I pulled the card out and read it. It was the absolute most hateful, mean spirited, evil card he could have written. Pure evil and just full of ramblings. Of course he didn’t sign his name but we obviously know it was from him. I called the flower place to verify who/where it was from but they said they wouldn’t give out that info. He’s crazy I tell you. Pure crazy. I talked to my aunt later that day, who made some phone calls for me and apparently he’s been trying to find out about mom and her health. I figure because he’s waiting on her to die to sue the estate. For a guy that never wants to be contacted again, he goes about it awful funny. He sure has an old woman pretty shook up. Is it possible to have him receive some kind of official notice to never contact is again? Kind of like a restraining order, or does a restraining order cover contacting is by mail/phone too? How difficult is it to receive one when we can’t prove it was him, and him living in a different state?

Not sure about the legal stuff regarding a restraint order. Sounds like some addiction issues and for sure mental issues. My late grandmother's sister did stuff like that. She would write a letter to my grandmother with stuff written all over the envelope and then terrible things in the letter.

It’s a tough situation to know how to respond to. One side of me wants to respond and tell him don’t contact us, or for someone who doesn’t want contacted he has a funny way of showing it. The other side of me says that would just feed into him and poke the bear, and that it’s best to just let him wonder if it was even delivered or delivered to the right address.

Gobwith the other side of you! Youll just be aggravating yourself, and entertaining him, if you go with first choice.

Yep, take the high road and ignore him.

Contact your estate attorney and file it as record along with anything else the attorney might need to protect the estate from anything he might do.
It also might be prudent to file for a general restraining order just in case he shows up out of the blue, sometimes people with those kinds of issues do those things.

If i didn't know any better id swear we had the same brother... except I'm the one that cut off contact. We tried to contact my brother the day my mom passed... finally got a hold of him through my niece (his daughter) and told him that mom had passed away. His response? Should i come home? I told him it didn't matter to me if he came home or not. He showed up the night before mom's funeral and first thing he asked was how much money was he getting from inheritance and when? That was in March of 21. He left right after mom's funeral and I have seen him twice since. He showed up about a month ago after going broke (he has blown though $400k in 4 years) wanting to borrow money. I told him i wasn't giving him any money (because it sure as hell wouldn't be a loan) and told him to give me a number that he'd take for his 1/2 of the 100 acres we inherited. He gave me a number and its finally coming to an end this week. That's gonna be the best money I've ever spent

My brother is of the same character. He only wants family when he needs something. Bail, money, shelter, etc. If you put him on a game show called good decision/bad decision, he'd bat 1000 at the bad decision. Incapable of good decisions.

When your usefulness to him is finished, he acts like a psycho.

But he's not evil. Just a complete dumbass. Selfish to his core.

That said, if my brother did what yours just did. I'd probably make a trip to Florida in person, take him for a meal and explain how bad a decision it would be to ever show his face again. And if he did, I'd treat him like my worst enemy and make sure he couldn't repeat if he wanted to.

My brother, thankfully, understands what would happen if he crosses a line. He doesn't just believe I'd finish him. He absolutely knows it in his heart. I love him. But if he hurt anyone in the family, I wouldn't hesitate to turn that page.

Thankfully he shows restraint thus far. Hopefully your brother will not repeat. I'd not have told mom about any of it.

Yep. Contacted my attorney yesterday who is setting me up with an estate attorney this week.

You’re actually one of the first people I thought of, because I know we’ve talked about our brothers before. I went back and forth with telling mom. Finally settled on doing so.

JMO, Don't take this to lightly, People on drugs/mental problems are Extremely dangerous. Just remember he knows where you live and has a vendetta against y'all..........

Presumably you are as well armed as the rest of us, but you cant have too many fully recording security cameras monitoring your property and your mother's. Angry folks with drug and mental illness problems can do wildly unpredictable things.

These familial situations are so very sad to me. And every single family has some character like this. Reading these comments makes me realize how very, very blessed I am with mine and my brother's relationship. We would do without to make sure the other had enough. I was in charge (self appointed) of our mom's estate and such, I kept him overly informed of the money and balances. My thought was, I ain't going to hey-ull because I fudged some numbers. He really didn't care so much because he knew I was doing my best and we had a trust with each other since childhood. I guess that part makes me sad for these comments. But I know there are undesirables in the best of every family. It's crazy what gets ahold of folks and the miserable road they walk down. Some folks have held onto bitterness so long it's a friend that refuse to deny, it's a part of them.

If she has a will with him cut out of it is there much he can do but whine about it? Maybe drag it out a little but still the same result! YOUR OUT!!!

Crazy thing is my mom isn’t well off. Probably because they spent most of their lives trying to bail him out. She lives with us because she isn’t in the best of health and it gives her a peace of mind for security. She still gets scared though. Even with us here and the dog that barks at anyone and sleeps just about every night in her den floor. Recording motion cameras monitor all around the house, that alert us to any movement. Loaded pistols throughout the house. Now she wants to install a gate at the end of the driveway, which I’m not going to do. Like I pointed out to her, if someone wants in, they’ll just walk around it unless I put up a big fence, and fencing in 3 acres with a tall fence isn’t very feasible.

I have a sister like this. Disowned us years ago and no one knows why?? Didn’t come to my dads or brothers funeral. Just sad

I'm sorry to read about this - but; since you are getting an attorney for your Mom's estate; leave him $1 and have it clearly outlined in the will THAT IS his inheritance. No detail is required in the will of his behavior, that way he is not omitted and doesn't have a leg to stand on if he chooses to dispute the will. The attorney can guide your Mom during the preparation of the will, durable power of attorney, and advanced directive.

It may read something like this, "I herein specifically bequeath the sum of $1 to (brother's name) and the remainder of my estate to (your name)"...there will be a lot of legal jargon afterwards. It should also include, "I hereby nominate (your name) as the EXECUTOR of my Last Will and Testament" with a lot of legal jargon afterwards.

Man... I don't know what to say other than sorry for what you are going through man. Family can seem to hurt you more than enemies sometimes.

I hate that you are going through this, and you will definitely be in my prayers. Skinny and others have made some good points in their posts. Make sure you document as much as you can, and cameras everywhere will certainly help with that.

When I was in my 20’s, I worked with a guy in his late 40’s/early 50’s, that used to say all the time, “family will screw you before friends”. I never understood that until I got older.