Aldeer.com Forums Alabama Deer Talk Aldeer General Forum Elderly Parents and medical care

I am mad as heck! My dad, who is 84 and has parkinsons has been off/sick for probably 3 weeks. He wasn't getting better, losing weight and color, sleeping all the time, disoriented, not eating, dehydrated. You get the picture. We finally get his doc on the phone last thursday and I asked her specifically about walking pneumonia. Dismissed. She said this just happens with people with parkinsons, they sleep alot. She prescribed him an antibiotic, I asked for a steriod pack too. Denied.

Saturday my sis takes him to the ER. Doc there says this is typical with Parkinsons, he is just dehydrated. There 4 hours and sent home.

Admitted today. His arm and hand have swollen. Every day is a new symptom, with me saying that he is not getting better if he keeps developing new symptoms. Dang parkinsons doc took 7 phone calls to get a return call.

Has pnuemonia in 1 lung. Has kidney issues, and possibly sepsis. Radiologist read the xray his reg doc ordered and said you could see the beginning stages of pneumonia. Finally admitted to the hospital.

These dang docs will kill people of you don't advocate for yourself and your parents. They run people thru like cattle, and have become indifferent to their patients and families telling them something is wrong. What are your options? None. They all have the same issue. Can't get paid because of Obama care, they spend more time looking at a computer than the patient.

Yeah you have to stay on top of doctors treating your elderly family members. I have to deal with this with my mom and uncle in their 80s. Some doctors are great and ethical but others not so much. One cardiologist has my uncle on blood thinners and other heart medication and he sleeps a lot. The PCP is arguing with the cardiologist about changing the one medication but the cardiologist doesn’t want to. I’m suspicious that the cardiologist is getting kickbacks from that drug.

Then mom had all kinds of arthritis and hip and knee problems. Took forever going with her to different orthopedic doctors and rheumatologist and finally the one orthopedic found the right drug dosage to reduce swelling and relieve her pain. But it was like a 5-6 month process and if I could not go to an appointment with her to make sure her symptoms were clearly communicated, her condition worsened. You have to stay on top of what is going on with elderly family members and the doctors treating them. Fortunately in my case most are really good and care but some of them are worthless.

I know a guy with Parkinsons. He gets recurring pneumonia as well. It must be part of the disease.

🙏🙏

My mother had Parkinson's, never had pneumonia. Everybody is different though.

Stay healthy as long as you can, otherwise you will get lost in the shuffle.`

Be careful it may not be pneumonia.

It could be aspiration related hiding as pneumonia, the swallowing, this is going on with swallowing saliva, food, drink, etc. This could also involve a swallowing coach. Antibiotics won’t fix this!!!!!!

My dad went through all this a few years back.

Sorry, you are having such a tough time. I was primary caregiver for my Mom in her last years and ; fortunately, most but not all Dr.'s and nurses did a great job. But; you definitely have to educate yourself and be a strong advocate. Which you appear to be doing. I knew her problems and meds better than the medical staff; was asked at least 3 times if I was a Dr. by Dr.'s or nurses.
Davy is right about aspiration from swallowing problems.
What ER did you go to?

Came here to completely agree with being an advocate for your loved ones and yourself! You shouldn't necessarily have to educate yourself before you see a medical professional but you better. You can try to treat/mistreat me any way you want pretty much but if my loved one is the object of your lack of care/professionalism, all claws come out.

Prior to covid, my little momma lived in a memory care facility where she had developed an uti, extremely common. She got a fever, was admitted to the hospital. They discover her kidneys are functioning at 35%. Well, she is like 85, so... she probably killed them with all the tylenol over the years. Anyway, she got better quickly and returned to her home. The kidney doctor wanted to see her so I take her to her appointment at 3:00pm on her appt day. When we arrive, the entire office is full of folks. I check her in, we find the only couple of seats there. I'm looking around and waiting, and we end up being there for about 2 hours, TWO HOURS. The patients waiting are not being seen. No one is being called back. I notice the file area behind the office staff is piled with folders, crap kinda all over the place back there. I started thinking, this place is a scam! I approached the desk and asked how much longer the wait might be because my mother is 85 and has been here for 2 hours and no one should have to wait that long. And the lack of care on this woman's face told me everything I needed to know. I got mom up and we left never to return. I got to thinking, what could he have possibly done for my 85 year old mother's kidneys to improve her life? I was really appalled at the whole set up this so called, highly respected in the Gadsden area, kidney doctor had going on! I even posted my rant on fb and I had a couple of folks talk about how he is a really good doctor, etc... I rebutted that just because he is a good doctor does not mean he knows how to run a business nor does he have the appropriate staff to help! There's no telling how long those old folks had been sitting waiting on this doctor if we only waited 2 hours.

Lockjaw, your dad is very blessed to have you! Keep fighting the good fight!

Great thread started. Yes keep an eye on all meds. Dad 89 had kidney stones. Not the best health did the blast thing under light anesthesia. Did great, we brought all med info to urologist from what hospice was giving him. New meds from Dr had him seeing things asking crazy questions and dizzy couldnt control his hands pointing at everything. We thought stroke UTI. Turns out the meds from Dr and hospice were screwing him up. We understand the pharmacist should have also caught this…. but nobody did. Finally hospice saw Dr meds and fixed the problem. Stay aware

Did the care thing with my brother and mom. Had a note book for each I took notes in each appointment and who was in the room and talking

This for sure; sometimes I recorded the conversations. Was even ; at times, encouraged to do so by her PCP at UAB. He was a wonderful man.

Couple of things I'll add to this good thread since I've cared for my parents for the past five years. First, make sure you develop a relationship with their doctor (s). By the time my mother passed, I could call up her doctor and within 24 hours have a conversation with him about things if needed. I knew her health issues and what was being done to treat them. Second, IF your aging parents go into the hospital someone needs to be with them 24/7. Some years ago with the hospital in my area, Mom was checked in due to having a possible stroke. The FIRST thing the on call doc wanted to do was rearrange her blood pressure meds (she took about 5 BP meds at the time). Going back several years, it took an entire year and a half to find the right combination for her... and this guy wanted to change all of that without even knowing if she'd had a stroke or not. I ended up checking her out and following up with her primary doc and it turned out it wasn't a stroke. Had I not been with her, they would have screwed everything up with her meds. Last, find a pharmacy that has people who will talk with you. In regards to the drug interactions, our pharmacists are also our friends - and if a script ever comes across the bow that presents a possible problem, they immediately tell me. When my Dad was prescribed a drug some years ago with massive side effects, our pharmacists gave us some wonderful advice about it.

I am lucky my sis is there, she can raise a little cain too.

I told her we needed to get a medical POA on them, and I also want a list for both of them of their doctors with contact info, meds they take, and patient portal log in info. I said if we had to call EMS, they will want to know this info, and its speeds up the process if we can give it to them.

Emory is where the doc is that hasn't been returning calls. They aparently called back very apologetic this morning, but that doesn't even begin to cover it.

My parents are the kind to just do what the doctor says, its the gospel, and not make waves. I told my sis yesterday, we are the wave makers. We need to be involved in the medical care so we can make sure they are getting what they need.

It is so aggravating. I know insurance creates alot of the issues, but these are our parents, our time with them is now limited. We want to prolong that as best we can. If you can't deal with that, go be a pediatrician.

I appreciate all the advice and validation.

LJ,
All those actions are ESSENTIAL. Yes, if you call EMS the first thing they ask is meds. Print a list and put it somewhere it can be located. At the independent living facility where my Mom was; they put a print out in the freezer and EMS knew that.
Yes, use the portal! UAB's is excellent, for instance. Comms there are documented and the responsibility on the Dr. or nurse cover to respond. All the labs are there; learn to interpret those(if you have not already) so you can ask questions.
It's a challenging; but rewarding journey. The most important thing I ever did in life.
Best of luck to your family!