Aldeer.com Forums Alabama Deer Talk Aldeer General Forum Don't kids get married anymore?

Have three different young coworkers, two guys and a girl who have all had out of wedlock kids over the past couple of years. Live with their partner but unmarried. One dude said he has commitment issues....told him he already made a commitment when he fathered a kid. What the hell is going on? Maybe I'm just old fashioned but this seems like bullshit to me. Get married so your kid isn't a bastard
But then again it's their lives so none of my business I guess.

Society’s departure from being grounded spiritually has caused a multitude of effects. One being there’s no shame in hardly anything nowadays. Just do whatever is easiest in the moment and most suited to your current desires.

Had the same thoughts the other day. I know of several that just shack up with their kids like it’s nothing.

All by design
Destroy the family UNIT and all things can be manipulated and changed

They get more money from the government that way. Designed to keep people slaves to the government.

Nobody is raising their daughters to be wives anymore. The cultural cancer of feminism, supported by government safety nets, is in everyone. If you don't raise your daughters to be wives then your sons will have no one to marry.

Raise your daughters to be wives and homemakers. Demand tax cuts before all else.

Its our fault. We failed to instill the family values and responsibilities that go with it to our children. We lost control of our children to the internet, liberal media and godless school system. Values went from being locally instilled to being world wide in an instant. Another reason young people don't marry is because the young women are largely entitled demanding self centered brain dead liberals who expect to be catered to constantly. Men won't risk their assets and the possibility for ruining their life. But in fairness the men today aren't the men I knew when I was young. They were hard men but kind. They were compassionate but did not tolerate BS. They put high demands for education and success on themselves and families. Those men are no longer with us. So no, marriage and commitment isn't important as it once was.

My son is in Switzerland getting married right now. No ceremony. No parties. No debt. They watched all their friends get married, conflict, stress, circus. Some divorced quickly. They learned from others mistakes and decided to do a special trip. I hate my wife, daughter and I won't be there. But that's how they wanted it. I respect that. Wedding ceremonies are expensive time and money wasters that do nothing but get attention for those who are seeking it.

We may have a celebration get together a little later. It's up to them. There will never be grandkids come from this marriage. Neither want children.

Having talked to him about things at length, I can say this. Men are scared to marry a woman who will divorce them and take half their hard work with them. Younger men have watched that and want no part of it.

Another factor is many if not most young women only bring one thing to the table. Sex. We all know what happens to the sex life when married. So the one thing they bring to the table is gone, no reason to be married and miserable. There is little that will make a man more miserable in a marriage than withholding of affection. Couple that with not being able to get out without bankrupting and starting over and you can see why men are hesitant.

Another factor is many if not most young men bring many many negatives to the table. Most of these are not apparent until living together. These young men today are literally helpless. Can't change a tire. Can't do anything other than work a white collar job. They're addicted to video games and entertainment and are unable or unwilling to put time into a marriage as a husband and father. They abandon their children to be raised by the mothers who are equally incapable. They don't participate in growing a household. They are selfish, incompetent and because of social media, they don't know how to interact with others in meaningful ways.

Hell, I can't blame either side for not wanting to marry. They shouldn't be producing children either. Our society is soft. We have created a generation of weak men and attention whore women. Both of whom require constant validation of their every thought and action. The good news.. Just like Generation X and earlier generations, life will beat their asses down and sooner or later they'll correct and come into the fold. At least the majority of them. They will have to if they want to survive.

Much of that change will have to come from the Church in my opinion.

[quote]Much of that change will have to come from the Church in my opinion.[quote]

I've noticed that church attendance correlates with desperation. When things get bad - really bad - people suddenly become very pious and faithful. When the Vikings were shooting flaming arrows into the village there was standing room only in the church. Always been that way. Just the way people are.

How does an unmarried couple get more money from the government?

marriage is a biblical thing, if you don't believe in the bible then why do it, just do whatever pleases yourself and spend eternity in hell. The bigger question is why do they even have kids.

I worked with a fellow that lived with a woman for 13 years and had three kids with her. I asked why he wouldn’t get married and he told me it was because he didn’t want her taking his stuff/money should they split up. I told him he passed that point a long time ago. He didn’t believe me and ended up leaving her for another woman. The courts ripped him a new one. He was shocked. I was dumbfounded at his stupidity.

Their income doesn’t go over the allowed income.

This has been happening for years and years. I know someone that’s worked for DHR for over 30 years now. The guy makes bank and baby momma gets the benefits. It not racial either as she says she deals with more whites and many of the baby daddies travel to work so they have joe real permanent address yet stay with baby momma when in town.

Folks have and know how to work the system. It’s learned.

Government programs have no reason to do watch closely as it will dry up their funding. They don’t want that as it their job would at some point be in jeopardy. Instead it’s best to inflate and reap those government program dollars.

In many cases...child is born under medicaid. Healthcare for the child provided by medicaid. WIC, food stamps...all provided. All due to the mom being a "single mother" with little/no income.

He found out it doesn’t matter about the marriage part 😆

Also how the drug dealers get by. Baby momma provides and baby daddy live the thug life and makes cash money to blow on stuff

Lots of baby mommas willing to get theirs

Obama removed stipulations for qualifying. Removed car values being counted as assets. Notice all those caddies and hummers at section 8 or government housing.

Yep.

One of the dudes I mentioned in original post said he and the baby momma already split up because they just weren't happy. You have a child now your happiness ain't a factor anymore. Certainly not all but a lot of these young men today aren't men at all but spoiled little boys. I don't get it, I have zero respect for these punks

That’s the problem. People don’t have a proper understanding of what a marriage is. It’s not about your happiness at all. It’s about your holiness. It’s about loving your spouse like Christ loved the church. That’s 100% sacrifice and it includes giving up your happiness for the benefit of the other. There’s way too many people who jump in lust and not in each other, and then when the fad wears off, and nobody is happy, rinse and repeat with the next one. It’s pitiful.

Marriage story. I worked with my now wife for 10 years. She hated me. She said she hated being around me. Like I gave a shit. Her husband at the time passed away. She was raising 6 kids on her on with some family help. So one day at work we are in the break room having lunch and I asked about the kids. She said it’s so tough with no father. I said maybe you need a break and would you like to come over for dinner? She accepted. I grill steaks. Nice salad. Baked potatoes. And a big apple pie for dessert. After dinner we watch a movie(American Pie). We laughed our ass off. After that night we never spent a night apart. 4 months later we were married. That was 2013. I was 50 and she was 38. In 2015 the little monster arrived. Our son. Did I want kids. Hell no. Best part about this is I got to help raise her kids. Great kids. All have degrees and making good money. Now it’s just me and momma and the 9 year old at home. His little ass keeps me busy. Yea I don’t understand why folks don’t get married anymore. Commitment? Scared? Being faithful?