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Key:
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 27,316 Likes: 252
Pumpkin - The Thermal Expert
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Pumpkin - The Thermal Expert
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 27,316 Likes: 252 |
Tombo, i know for 100% sure, that if youll trust the Lord with this, he will work it out for your good. You cant do anything about your wifes actions. God knows your heart and he is a rewarder of those who dilligently seek him. I dont know you. I have no idea any details of your situation. I do know the Lord. I know how much he loves us. I know anything is possible when he is involved. My advice to you would be get just as close to the Lord as you possibly can. Give him every bit of your life, pray he will invade your life, pray he will take over every piece of your life and lean into it with all that is in you. Im gona be praying for you. Ive been left, ive been cheated on, ive been let down by humans in every way you can imagine but the Lord has yet to let me down. He loves you just like he loves me and i know he dont want you to hurt. And i know he will use this hurt for your good. And i know late at night when you are lonely and the tears come, he will be there to comfort you. Im so sorry you are going through this.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 9
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,609 Likes: 9 |
My divorce was not my idea and took me entirely by surprise. I met a woman about 6 months into the process, by happenstance, who became a casual date and then a companion in a dark and troubled time. 5 years later, we got married last month. She has most of the good qualities of my ex but none of the negative plus a few bonus features.
I’m not a religious man but I feel like God put us in each other’s path. I’m far happier now than I was before. Onward if not upward.
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Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 12,458 Likes: 26
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 12,458 Likes: 26 |
Tombo, i know for 100% sure, that if youll trust the Lord with this, he will work it out for your good. You cant do anything about your wifes actions. God knows your heart and he is a rewarder of those who dilligently seek him. I dont know you. I have no idea any details of your situation. I do know the Lord. I know how much he loves us. I know anything is possible when he is involved. My advice to you would be get just as close to the Lord as you possibly can. Give him every bit of your life, pray he will invade your life, pray he will take over every piece of your life and lean into it with all that is in you. Im gona be praying for you. Ive been left, ive been cheated on, ive been let down by humans in every way you can imagine but the Lord has yet to let me down. He loves you just like he loves me and i know he dont want you to hurt. And i know he will use this hurt for your good. And i know late at night when you are lonely and the tears come, he will be there to comfort you. Im so sorry you are going through this. Pretty much sums it up, I was a child in a broken home, keep your daughter close as you can no matter how it plays out. Show her you love her and tell her you love her. When/if she is old enough explain to her how you felt about the situation but without throwing stones best you can.. the more your involved in her life the less she has to wonder or worry and make bad decisions off of emotions and feelings. Prayers
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 9,138 Likes: 40
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 9,138 Likes: 40 |
I hate to read this Tombo, but as others have stated - at this point it is about how to best protect your daughter and yourself. Your wife made a selfish choice and it will fall upon you to offer your daughter a stable environment. Regardless of how you may feel, don't speak poorly of your wife in front of your daughter OR allow family and friends to do so either - especially, don't drag your daughter into the divorce. Again - I'm very sorry you are going through this and pray you find peace.
"The struggle you're in today, is developing the strength you need for tomorrow."
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 20,344 Likes: 28
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 20,344 Likes: 28 |
Not that you need to hear this, but if they can't or want give you an explanation, more times than not there is a third party involvement somewhere. Prayers to you. Yeah, " just not happy" at home almost always means "i think i would be happier over there". Which is a lie of the devil. Marriage takes work, for better or worse. And commitment for a lifetime. Im afraid alot of people just forget exactly what it was they signed up for, or they never really thought hard about it to begin with. A marriage is a covenant before God between two people, a man ansd a woman, that joins them together as "one flesh". Thats pretty serious business. Ill spend the rest of my life working on and for my marriage. Thats the deal i made. Yes there is third party involvement that i found out a few weeks ago says that it just happened right before I found out, and tries to validate it because have have been separated for 7 months but i was hanging on to any hope i had apparently she had other plans, and yes i do take marriage seriously with god I promise I’m not perfect but tried everything I knew to do, I know he’s got a plan for me but it’s a hurt I’ve never felt before right now Bunch of us been in your exact situation! You are not alone and there is so much more/better days on the other side. If you need to talk to someone you are welcome to call me anytime or a bunch of other people on this site. Just remember you are not the only one though it feels like it right now.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 597 Likes: 1
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 597 Likes: 1 |
Thanks for all the kind words guys y’all don’t know how much it means I guess I just needed to vent a little, but I am trusting in god and focusing on renewing my relationship with him
All men die few ever really live
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,388 Likes: 204
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,388 Likes: 204 |
Not that you need to hear this, but if they can't or want give you an explanation, more times than not there is a third party involvement somewhere. Prayers to you. Yeah, " just not happy" at home almost always means "i think i would be happier over there". Which is a lie of the devil. Marriage takes work, for better or worse. And commitment for a lifetime. Im afraid alot of people just forget exactly what it was they signed up for, or they never really thought hard about it to begin with. A marriage is a covenant before God between two people, a man ansd a woman, that joins them together as "one flesh". Thats pretty serious business. Ill spend the rest of my life working on and for my marriage. Thats the deal i made. Yes there is third party involvement that i found out a few weeks ago says that it just happened right before I found out, and tries to validate it because have have been separated for 7 months but i was hanging on to any hope i had apparently she had other plans, and yes i do take marriage seriously with god I promise I’m not perfect but tried everything I knew to do, I know he’s got a plan for me but it’s a hurt I’ve never felt before right now I made that same commitment to #1. That person and the 3rd party didn't honor their commitments to their families. Luckily there were no children involved. It wasn't pleasant. I wasn't at my best throughout it. But GOD had other plans and led me to where I am now. It is also not perfect. There is no such thing. But it's a sight better than what I deserve. Don't lose hope. Keep faith. It will turn out better for you than you can dream. But it may not seem that way at first. Trust in GOD. He will take care of you.
Character is not developed in moments of temptation and trial. That is when it is intended to be used.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,728 Likes: 165
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,728 Likes: 165 |
Not that you need to hear this, but if they can't or want give you an explanation, more times than not there is a third party involvement somewhere. Prayers to you. Yeah, " just not happy" at home almost always means "i think i would be happier over there". Which is a lie of the devil. Marriage takes work, for better or worse. And commitment for a lifetime. Im afraid alot of people just forget exactly what it was they signed up for, or they never really thought hard about it to begin with. A marriage is a covenant before God between two people, a man ansd a woman, that joins them together as "one flesh". Thats pretty serious business. Ill spend the rest of my life working on and for my marriage. Thats the deal i made. Hey now, something isn't right. Too much wisdom from a person so young. I guess it comes from the transformation in your life. Bless you for that and Tombo.
Lord, please help us get our nation straightened out.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 44,380 Likes: 28
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 44,380 Likes: 28 |
Went through it last year after 32 years. Mine wasn't any trouble. Prayers up for yall.
LUCK:::; When presistence, dedication, perspiration and preparation meet up with opportunity!!!
- - - - - - - -A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jeferson - - - - - - - -
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Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 4,832 Likes: 117
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 4,832 Likes: 117 |
A lot of good advice in these replies
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 9,274 Likes: 9
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 9,274 Likes: 9 |
dont forget the life that Eve had and it wasn’t enough….
prayers sent
Give me bout 15 more minutes, I was dreamin about beavers..........
Si Robertson
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,794 Likes: 38
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,794 Likes: 38 |
tombo I wrote something yesterday and erased it, it's just two personal. I don't know your situation, but a lot of women have some form of mental illness and it might only be small or could be big. my grand dad stayed with my full blown crazy grandma and never left through the roughest things and I like to think he was rewarded for his loyalty he was a 300lb fat bald man that had a wife serving him right up till death and the kids had two parents and not two families. ive' been through the anger and craziness towards my side of the family with mine as well, happens mostly around holidays. Even though I don't like it my solution was to just back away from my extended family especially on holidays and give her complete control of the holidays. I shouldn't have to do that but you got to look at the big picture. I still get 3 meals a day, a clean house, and alot of action i couldn't even dream of getting on the streets. I made a vow of in sickness and in health and Iam gonna keep it. that's just my situation and I hope it helps keep the family together. man that was a little too personal.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,952 Likes: 4
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,952 Likes: 4 |
A LOT of people in today’s world is looking for SOMEONE, SOMETHING, or SOMEWHERE to MAKE them happy.
No one or nothing can MAKE you FEEL any way without your permission.
In the words of the great philosopher Clint Black: “Wherever you go, there you are!”
If you aren’t happy here, you won’t be happy there. If you’re expecting some THING or some ONE to make you happy…you won’t find happy for the long term. Until you intentionally DECIDE to be happy, you probably won’t be. It’s amazing how much HAPPY you can find in perpetuity looking for someone to help…with a kind word of encouragement, a helping hand (occasionally), and anonymous gift to get them out of a financial bind (it is much better to be anonymous or they’ll come back again and again…and act like you’re a selfish prick if you don’t perpetually “help” them get out of a bind. Some folks have to hit rock bottom to understand that they had it great, while with some folks an anonymous help can get them over the hump.
But if “they’re just not happy” with no explanations…they either don’t want to give an explanation, or either y’all have discussed it over and over with either one or both of y’all unable to see or hear the other’s point of view.
Prayers for it to go as well as possible.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,952 Likes: 4
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,952 Likes: 4 |
dont forget the life that Eve had and it wasn’t enough….
prayers sent GREAT POINT!!!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,109 Likes: 15
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,109 Likes: 15 |
tombo I wrote something yesterday and erased it, it's just two personal. I don't know your situation, but a lot of women have some form of mental illness and it might only be small or could be big. my grand dad stayed with my full blown crazy grandma and never left through the roughest things and I like to think he was rewarded for his loyalty he was a 300lb fat bald man that had a wife serving him right up till death and the kids had two parents and not two families. ive' been through the anger and craziness towards my side of the family with mine as well, happens mostly around holidays. Even though I don't like it my solution was to just back away from my extended family especially on holidays and give her complete control of the holidays. I shouldn't have to do that but you got to look at the big picture. I still get 3 meals a day, a clean house, and alot of action i couldn't even dream of getting on the streets. I made a vow of in sickness and in health and Iam gonna keep it. that's just my situation and I hope it helps keep the family together. man that was a little too personal. In sickness and in health includes Jody? No thanks! To the OP, hang in there buddy. There’s better days ahead for you. I’ve been there and got the t-shirt myself. Looking back, it was a hidden blessing. In the mean time, love your daughter and love yourself a little too.
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Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 951 Likes: 19
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Jul 2020
Posts: 951 Likes: 19 |
Tombo, If you love the gal, keep praying & never give up. I've Been very close to divorce on more than 1 occasion. I'm living proof that if the good Lord can fix our marriage, he can fix anyone's. Our 27 yr marriage has been just about as broken as it gets. Very Blessed & thankful to say things are now as good as they've ever been (not perfect). I understand some things just cant be forgiven but It CAN be repaired if you keep it in his Hands.. In the meantime, Keep yourself busy
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,794 Likes: 38
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,794 Likes: 38 |
In sickness and in health includes Jody? No thanks! To the OP, hang in there buddy. There’s better days ahead for you. I’ve been there and got the t-shirt myself. Looking back, it was a hidden blessing. In the mean time, love your daughter and love yourself a little too. no CD. I would think infidelity would be the end of any marriage. marriage is a biblical thing anyways that the world tries to copy. if it's not based on God then I will agree that the vows don't mean as much.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,109 Likes: 15
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,109 Likes: 15 |
In sickness and in health includes Jody? No thanks! To the OP, hang in there buddy. There’s better days ahead for you. I’ve been there and got the t-shirt myself. Looking back, it was a hidden blessing. In the mean time, love your daughter and love yourself a little too. no CD. I would think infidelity would be the end of any marriage. marriage is a biblical thing anyways that the world tries to copy. if it's not based on God then I will agree that the vows don't mean as much. Gotcha. And I agree. I misunderstood your comment. My apologies.
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 8,551 Likes: 5
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 8,551 Likes: 5 |
I hate to read this Tombo, but as others have stated - at this point it is about how to best protect your daughter and yourself. Your wife made a selfish choice and it will fall upon you to offer your daughter a stable environment. Regardless of how you may feel, don't speak poorly of your wife in front of your daughter OR allow family and friends to do so either - especially, don't drag your daughter into the divorce. Again - I'm very sorry you are going through this and pray you find peace. There’s been a lot of really good things to say and good advice offered on here. This one hits home with me personally. My parents divorced when I was around 6 months old. Mom and stepdad raised me. I NEVER heard anything good about my biological father. He’d come and go to see me every now and then. No doubt he wasn’t perfect, but I’ll never know the truth and will never know the whole story. Just 1 side and not sure if all of it was true. To this day, my mom and biological dad still can’t sit in the same room together if they’re at the same setting for my son’s events or whatever. I’m 46 yrs old and it still is very awkward for me if they’re in the same environment. So, with that being said, put your feelings towards her mom and what she did aside. Make your priority all about your daughter and how things will be for her. Don’t speak ill of her mom. If she asks questions you can be honest, but don’t volunteer any info. Prayers up for you.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,388 Likes: 204
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 17,388 Likes: 204 |
I hate to read this Tombo, but as others have stated - at this point it is about how to best protect your daughter and yourself. Your wife made a selfish choice and it will fall upon you to offer your daughter a stable environment. Regardless of how you may feel, don't speak poorly of your wife in front of your daughter OR allow family and friends to do so either - especially, don't drag your daughter into the divorce. Again - I'm very sorry you are going through this and pray you find peace. There’s been a lot of really good things to say and good advice offered on here. This one hits home with me personally. My parents divorced when I was around 6 months old. Mom and stepdad raised me. I NEVER heard anything good about my biological father. He’d come and go to see me every now and then. No doubt he wasn’t perfect, but I’ll never know the truth and will never know the whole story. Just 1 side and not sure if all of it was true. To this day, my mom and biological dad still can’t sit in the same room together if they’re at the same setting for my son’s events or whatever. I’m 46 yrs old and it still is very awkward for me if they’re in the same environment. So, with that being said, put your feelings towards her mom and what she did aside. Make your priority all about your daughter and how things will be for her. Don’t speak ill of her mom. If she asks questions you can be honest, but don’t volunteer any info. Prayers up for you. That's good advice. I got that my entire life. My brother bought into the evil dad thing. Nobody that was with us had anything good to say. I always instinctively knew that, though it wasn't around, he wasn't as bad as they made him out to be. He was full of flaws and still is. But not as bad as they told us. He was somewhere in between. For me, the harm of speaking negatively about another harms both sides and does no good for the child. It's not necessary either. The child will instinctively know who loves and cares for them.
Character is not developed in moments of temptation and trial. That is when it is intended to be used.
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