Originally Posted by Lockjaw
The amount is very low now, as in not remotely within the guidelines, so I feel confident it will go up. Especially with her dropping days and inflation, both of which are reasons to adjust it according to alabama law.

Mine never got custody. She left life a thief in the night and I got temporary custody and never looked back. She is such a poser and runs around trying to convince everyone she is a good mom and she sux. I got so fed up with it I stopped letting her have a pass with the boys. She makes excuses and I say, no that is manipulation. I said you need to make sure you know what it is, so you don't end up with a woman who does that.

Getting more child support is more about forcing her to do what she doesn't do, take care of them.

My youngest has been ditching custody for a while. Sometimes he goes, mainly because she uses her current hubs business as a way to give him $ for working for her. That's the only reason he goes, when he goes. She is so insecure, constantly asking him for a hug and a kiss.

When I was getting a divorce, and she had them for a weekend, I had to mentally prepare to get them back. They would come back so sucked dry of love, they would literally cling to me. It was like having 2 shadows and I couldn't move or breathe. It always took a few days to get them back where I could breathe. Every 2 weeks for a year almost I did that, and then it continued after the divorce. It's like that even now, every time they see her. She just sucks every bit of love in them out.


I get that part about energy vampires. My adopted daughters egg donor video messages my wife about once a month, sometimes two. She used to ask to speak to her, but she would do nothing during the conversation except try to get her to say I love you, over and over and over. It got harder and harder over time to get her to do it. My wife hated it and when she was old enough to understand it was manipulation, we told her she did not have to say it to her. One day she looked in the phone and said OK and walked away. The egg donor got that message loud and clear. We don't prevent her communicating, but we don't encourage it either.

We were offered child support by the state, but told them no. We don't need it and didn't want to have that direct link they could manipulate with.

When we were fighting for custody, it was horrible. This sweet, happy, beautiful child would be dropped off with them when they got custody. She would cling to us, cry, beg and plead. When they pulled her from our arms, they couldn't have cared less. You could see it in our girls eyes. She would blank out. I forget what my wife called it, but it's like she stuffed her soul into a closet and locked the door. All emotions gone. We suspected and later found out about the beatings she took for clinging to us and not wanting to go to them. Then when we returned to get her, she's sprint to us and those eyes would light up. It was a horrific experience for us and her. And it repeated over and over and over again. We still aren't completely done with the repercussions of that trauma.

If anyone can eliminate a shitty parent from their childs life, money, time, whatever, it's best to do so. The child will not benefit from their relationship in any good way. You're riding on a bumpy road my friend, but unfortunately it's a well travelled road with a lot of junkers in the ditch on both sides of the road. You're not alone. Not for a minute.

Character is not developed in moments of temptation and trial. That is when it is intended to be used.