I have magic beans prescribed for flying, I don’t get frustrated about chit.

I refused to take a body scan my last flight and stood there waiting for a shakedown so long the whole shebang shutdown because my bag had went through without me and they finally started calling my name and said “what are you standing there for” when I answered. I said ,“I’m right where you dumb fugks told me to stand whilst Y’all were supposed to get someone to search me”, the whole place fell out laughing.

Then, they were stupid enough to ask if I wanted to be searched in private, with chaperone “Nope, do it right here in front of God and everyone”, and they did.

Then they tore my bag apart until they found a mini Swiss army with the 3/4” grooming scissors and tried to lecture me until I told them the regulations that said what I could have. I said “whens your birthday doug? Keep it as a present”.

I fly with cut off sweatpants, no underwear, flip flops, and a tshirt.

Last edited by JohnnyLoco; 05/29/23 09:46 PM.