Paul in giving instructions for deacons, overseers and elders sets a standard. The standard is high because a lot was riding on the line...so much false teaching going on in the early church that is was CRITICAL to have church leaders who were above reproach. Well, that is as true today as ever.
So if you study these things...being the husband of one wife is seen as better than a husband of many wives. Being sober-minded and gentle is better than being a drunkard or a hot-head. This standard is set to pull out the best to lead the church. If that defines the best, then the man with multiple wives is by default lesser. Well, why is that?
God gave us some standards in the OT. 2 become one flesh. Love God, love others, obey commandments, don't divorce without God's approved reasons, etc... Looking at divorce is important here.
God tells us that divorce is wrong and gives us only a couple very specific reasons why the sacred marriage covenant shall be broken. Anything outside of that goes against God's plan for marriage. Does God then no longer recognize a marriage covenant that was broken unjustly? Or does he hold us to our vow anyway, whether legally married or not?
I say he hold us to our covenants even when we decide to break them in this earthly life.
The husband of one wife may have multiple meanings here too. Literally: Man has 2, 3, 4, wives that are alive. Figuratively: Man has married and unjustly divorced a few times...but God still recognizes the original covenant. Polygamy can be active wives or it could also mean active covenant marriages that God never permitted to be broken.
So when Paul is speaking on these things, there is much in play. An elder/deacon who has churned through multiple wives and divorced them is not above reproach. The non-believers that are to be reached will see that and expose it and that hurts the witness and work of the church. Same is true today.
So if the standard is higher for leadership positions, does that mean we common folks have a lower standard? Absolutely not. The standard is the same for everyone. But to be an effective leader, one needs to actually live up to the standard at a high level to beyond reproach. Now we all sin and fall short, but a church leader needs to do that minimally so his leadership will be good and correct.
Just my take on it.
