BigC,
One step at a time. Remember when you married your wife --what were those feelings? They're not gone - they've just been put to sleep by living life and the daily grind. You're a hero to your kids ( and in a different way to the rest of us who did not serve!). Your relationship with their mother is the cornerstone of the most important thing they'll have throughout their lives - that being their ability to 'relationship' with their spouse, their kids and others.
Nobody knows your exact situation but talking to a professional and letting your wife know she's the most important thing in your life will pay dividends. It feels awkward, but after you're on the other side, you'll be amazed at how it helped get you going. It's OK to let your kids know how hard life is sometimes but that they are part of your solution. It's "TEAM DAD". It's how we're made and how God designed it.
Prayers for you.
