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66 members (AU338MAG, Irishguy, TEM, S_Dubs, AU7MM08, rutwad, Bread, fillmore, gman, TheVern, JHL, Bowfish, DoubleShoalsJR, Tall Dog, bamafan1966, Frankie, Chiller, MoeBuck, sawdust, GATA87, Dragfan66, JohnG, wyattd, Carp54, k bush, CatfishJunkie, outdoorguy88, Gunpowder, Jbf, RCHRR, Kennnn, BamaPlowboy, Parker243, Kang, shootnmiss, kyles, TideWJO, Bustinbeards, Borty, Bruno, SC53, Koba, Chaser357, rrice0725, tightwads, abolt300, CAL, 000buck, Flyliner, CAM, gobblebox, Paint Rock 00, 3Gs, Six shooter, Geeb, VERACITY, demop_native, 9 invisible),
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 5,198 Likes: 3
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 5,198 Likes: 3 |
Prayers for you and your family
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,156 Likes: 4
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,156 Likes: 4 |
Praying for you bigcountry! One thing i learned from being in some dark lonely places in my life......things WILL get better.......so don't give up. You've reached out for help which is a huge step. Please talk to someone you can trust.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,598
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,598 |
When you said, "I do......for better or for worse", did you really mean it? You've got alot at stake here. It sounds like you have a great family. Get out there and fight for your marriage. Are you involved in a good church? If I ever needed wise counsel, I would have an endless resource of friends from church and my Pastor. It's time to get to work, brother. Well said. Quitting is the easy way out. You fought for our country, fight for your family. I've been wrapped up in a dark place before too. There is light on the other side. Go find it. It took med for me and it might for you, but you won't know til you go.
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
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Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 601
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 601 |
Thank you for your service ! Great advise from this group. Don't give up on your wife and kids...fight for them brother !
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 3,168 Likes: 6
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 3,168 Likes: 6 |
One of my favorites: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,363 Likes: 75
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,363 Likes: 75 |
Hey man. For some reason this really touches me, man. I see a lot of veterans as patients. Some saw action. Many did not. What I do see among them is a lot of issues with depression, divorce, alcoholism, drug addition, and suicidal thoughts. I'm no psychologist but it sounds like you are on the brink of something really bad. You have a lot of folks that love you and I would dig down deep and rally for them and for yourself. A professional counselor would most likely do wonders for you. You may even need to see about looking into AA. The Aldeer nation cares about you too. Keep us posted on what you do. God has mighty plans for you and your family. There is peace and joy to be had with your family. And DO NOT say someone else would be a better dad. That is BS man and that is just Satan trying to tell you that. Do not listen to the enemy. No one will be a better dad than the one who gave them life and WANTS to be a good father. You got this man. You really do. Bless you brother and I know you will pull out of this!
Dr. B
Last edited by bamaeyedoc; 02/02/20 09:06 AM.
AKA: “Dr. B”
Aldeer #121
8-3-2000
Proud alum of AUM, UAB, and UA
2023-2024 ALdeer Deer Contest Champions
2024-2025 ALdeer Deer Contest Champions
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 27,316 Likes: 252
Pumpkin - The Thermal Expert
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Pumpkin - The Thermal Expert
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 27,316 Likes: 252 |
The Lord is able to do miracles in an individuals life no medicine or group meeting could come close to. I dont know you from adams housecat but there must be some honor in you for the way youve chose to spend your life. The way you described your relationship with your wife tells me you are not all about you and dont hold yourself in higher reguard than others. I can see qualities in you in just a paragraph of your writing that I know my Lord appreciates in a man. You are a soldier and a man in a world with few of them. I know the Lord can help you because of what he did for me and my family. We were done, destroyed, by my own doing. He put us back together and we have grown together for 11yrs since then. I know the Lord loves you exactly the same as he loves me, and he can get you back on track. Im gona be praying for you. I hope youve laid it out there for the Lord the way you did here. If not I would start there. Just give it all to him. If you dont know how, ask him to show you. Most of all I think you have to believe he can fix it. This is a very big thing to you, it is your life and all of your life, but to my God this is a small thing. I know he can help you because he helped me. My problems were certainly different than yours but in my life I promise you they were just as big.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 52,255 Likes: 18
Mildly Quirky
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Mildly Quirky
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 52,255 Likes: 18 |
Not letting this one disappear.
BigCountry, how's it going? You have folks who understand what you're going through (Outback, others) or who are concerned.
"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter
"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013
"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 2,620 Likes: 7
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 2,620 Likes: 7 |
We are all pulling for you BigCountry.
Every single one of us.
"Hate is an acid that does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored, than the victim on which it is poured."
"Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity."
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 13,024 Likes: 3
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 13,024 Likes: 3 |
Be very wary of the VA. They claim to be here to help but that is not often the case when depression takes a hold of someone. I have never had to use them thankfully. Find a doctor you like and can trust and tell them exactly what you told us. They can't rule out everything but they can find the easily testable things such as low t, chemical imbalances, infection, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, any number of syndromes associated with service, genetic disorders and exposure to certain drugs used to treat illness. Follow their advice if you are comfortable with it, come back here and ask about that advice if you're not comfortable with it. If you are prone to reading, here is some good information. It is really long but may provide you with some info you didn't already have. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181771/https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression
Whoever is happy will make others happy too. Anne Frank
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3,338 Likes: 31
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3,338 Likes: 31 |
Sending a prayer up for ya Bigcountry. Tons of good advice on this thread. Don’t give up because things will get better. Keep us posted on how things go.
I still go up to NC to hunt and fish from time to time so if you need to get some time away outdoors I’d be happy to put you on some public land spots I know in Uwharrie or even meet up to go chase whatever is in season.
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 21,456
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 21,456 |
Big country. Nothing I can add to the great advice given. Been in the same place before.
1) I believe in you. You are strong enough to beat this.
2) The battle has already been won (spiritual warfare)
3) If you ever want to talk, PM me your number. I dont sleep worth crap. day or night.
Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 198
3 point
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3 point
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 198 |
BigC,
One step at a time. Remember when you married your wife --what were those feelings? They're not gone - they've just been put to sleep by living life and the daily grind. You're a hero to your kids ( and in a different way to the rest of us who did not serve!). Your relationship with their mother is the cornerstone of the most important thing they'll have throughout their lives - that being their ability to 'relationship' with their spouse, their kids and others.
Nobody knows your exact situation but talking to a professional and letting your wife know she's the most important thing in your life will pay dividends. It feels awkward, but after you're on the other side, you'll be amazed at how it helped get you going. It's OK to let your kids know how hard life is sometimes but that they are part of your solution. It's "TEAM DAD". It's how we're made and how God designed it.
Prayers for you.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,839 Likes: 8
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,839 Likes: 8 |
"Don't let a dead deer kill ya"
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,546
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,546 |
Big C, like others have said, I don't have much to add to some great advice. If you need someone to talk to who's had some similar experiences and can give you perspective from another persons point-of-view, send me a message. Prayers for you and your family. Please let us know how you is... 
"For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America" ~Benjamin Franklin
Isaiah 40:13-14
RAP is CRAP
NRA Life Member, GOA, BamaCarry Member
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 25,786 Likes: 66
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 25,786 Likes: 66 |
“ Never, never, never give up.”
Winston Churchill
Proud Army and ALNG veteran
God Bless America!
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outdoorobsession
Unregistered
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outdoorobsession
Unregistered
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Jeez, he hasnt been on in a couple days, since 2/2 . I hope all is well.
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 14,515
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 14,515 |
Anybody know him personally???
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him."
-G. K. Chesterton
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,839 Likes: 8
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,839 Likes: 8 |
I reached out to him via another social medium this morning. He thanked me and said they were all doing good.
"Don't let a dead deer kill ya"
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Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,605 Likes: 27
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,605 Likes: 27 |
Don’t know you but you sound like a stand up guy who really does care about his family. Went thru some tuff times almost 2 years ago when I unexpectedly lost my job. It did a number on me and my wife’s relationship because I shut everyone out. I did 2 things that I honestly believe saved my family. My wife and I sat down and prayed for peace, comfort and understanding together. Next we went to the living room and prayed with kids.
I had struggled for 3-4 months of working entry level jobs that barely paid the bills. I have now been at one of the best jobs I could ask for over a year now. Prayers and patience brother, you can persevere.
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