I would think your post shows you are actually are aware of God's blessings.

It's very easy for any of us to let the cares of this world,the deceitfulness of riches,and the lusts of other things enter in and choke the Word in our lives.

I was driving down the road once and I asked the Lord why is it that sometimes I seemed to be a powerful man of faith and other times I felt like the lowest sinner on earth.

It was starting to turn evening but still very much daylight and in answer to my question the Lord directed me to look at the moon.It was one of those times when I could clearly see the whole outline of the moon but I could tell that only a very small sliver would be showing when it was fully dark.

Looking up at that moon the Lord said to me in answer to my question about my inconsistency,"The fullness is always there!" With those simple words I saw in my spirit exactly what God was telling me. He was showing me that we reflect the brightness of the Son just as the moon reflects the brightness of the Sun. He even reminded me that in Malachi Jesus is referred to as the SUN of righteousness.

God was telling me that even though I might only at one moment show a small portion of His brightness,"The fullness is always there" of his Holy Spirit.In other words,I was no less his simply because I didn't recognize and reflect all of him at that moment.

Then being real dumb,I asked another question. I asked why I mostly only reflected a small portion of his glory. Then the Lord told me the very simple answer,which happens to be the answer to your question as well. He said,"The world gets in the way!"