In his situation I would have started shooting fireworks from the dock, or skinny dipping (not both though ). One misplaced letter in that sentence and you become an AlDeer legend. 
"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter
"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013
"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
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