Aldeer.com Forums Alabama Deer Talk Aldeer General Forum Everyone puts pants on one leg at a time.

Finer than a frog hair split 4 ways.

Colder than a well digger's ass in Montana.

That looks like an elephant's ass sewed up with kudzu.

She's built like a brick chithouse.

bream hooks is good. never heard that one.

I always heard "as a sack of wire coat hangers".

the visual image is strong with both.

She's hot as a poker!

"f***ed up as a box of bream hooks"

"as lost as last year's easter eggs"

He looks like somebody tied a ham bone around his neck and turned the dogs loose on him.

Wish I could buy him for what he's worth, and sell him for what he thinks he's worth

Slicker than owl $###

Queer as a football bat

All over it like a fat baby on a donut

Out like a fat kid in dodgeball.

She's so ugly looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a dull hatchet.

You can lead a horse to water but, you can't make him drank it.

These are a tad crude, and I hesitated to post them, but these are ones that stand out I've heard used around our hunting camp over the years there.

(1) Ted dropped that deer like a used rubber.

(2) I believe I could crap through a screen door right now.

(3) I saw 'ol Randy run to the woods after eating that 3 day old leftover chicken, and it looked like a rainbow spraying behind him when he was taking a crap.

Sorry about that, ya'll.

My neck is as stiff as a whorehouse towel

Look at the chitter on that critter

Taking your girl out to eat: would you like to order some "one-eyed trouser trout" or will you be having the "tubesteak smothered in underwear"

If midnight's black, that dem is a quarter till 2

Folded that deer up like a lawn chair.