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Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 900
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 900 |
Crazy story. Sounds like you're a stand up guy now, the only way to proceed is keep being a stand up guy in my eyes.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,068 Likes: 4
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,068 Likes: 4 |
Been in private law practice for almost 23 years. If child support is not established before the child's 19th birthday it's " too late Naton". Not to mention if she was adopted then he is not and will never be the "legal" father. The girl just wants answers Id imagine.
Last edited by Ant67; 02/11/15 12:10 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,166 Likes: 6
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,166 Likes: 6 |
I met my Father for the first time when I was 65. Unless this has happened to you don't understand
I met my father for the first time when I was 65. We talk fairly often and I have found out a lot of things about my family I never knew. I wish you the best...
Grandma said...Always keep a gun close at hand, you just never know when you might run across some varmint that needs killing...
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290 |
Some good advise on her so far. I'm referring to the fatherly advise. I seriously doubt that she is looking for you for any other reason other than to meet you and get to know you. However in todays society you never know. You know medical records could be something useful to her. I think you are handling it well. I agree with burbank that if I had one out there I dang sure would want to know about it and have them a part of my life.
Just curious how this ancestry.com stuff work? DO they match your DNA and then automatically tell both parties your names and address's etc? I mean whats the next step? Do you have the option of staying anonymous or once the make the match both parties recieve all the info about the other?
I would hate to know I had one out there and didnt know it. Shame on the mother for not giving you the option of raising her. As others have stated, stay commited in your faith. May God Bless you both in this new adventure. Life changing for sure. Ask yourself this question. If you were to find out (after paternity test) that she was not your daughter would you be happy or disappointed? This may help in your decision. Prayers for you cold trail that this happens as Gods Will intends for it to happen.
If your decoy doesnt have holes in it, your not letting him get close enough... J.H.
"Life lessons are almost never found where you think they should be, sometimes they're in the middle of a small, muddy creek in the woods with steep banks"... DeadorAlive
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,598
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,598 |
Her mother was married and put here up for adoption. She has been looking for her biological parents for twelve years.
The only way she can be related to both sides is through me. The paternity test will tell the truth.
I did alot of things from age 17 to 24, Im afraid this may be the tip of the ice berg. At 24 I was saved and my life totally turned around. What I struggle with is after all the change and years my past continues to haunt me. Being redeemed doesnt solve all my problems. My wife is handling it well. I dont know how to tell our kids. They only know the person that was redeemed not the selfish person I was Here's the deal: There isn't one dang thing you can do to change the past. I don't know how old your kids are, but if they're grown, just tell them. You were a kid then. I imagine if they are like most people, including me, they've also done some things that they'd just as soon forget.
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 121
3 point
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3 point
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 121 |
If you was 17 and she was 24. You was takin advantage of. Let them find the mom first or they ain't no case. All hearsay.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,519 Likes: 6
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,519 Likes: 6 |
Her mother was married and put here up for adoption. She has been looking for her biological parents for twelve years.
The only way she can be related to both sides is through me. The paternity test will tell the truth.
I did alot of things from age 17 to 24, Im afraid this may be the tip of the ice berg. At 24 I was saved and my life totally turned around. What I struggle with is after all the change and years my past continues to haunt me. Being redeemed doesnt solve all my problems. My wife is handling it well. I dont know how to tell our kids. They only know the person that was redeemed not the selfish person I was This could turn out better than you think. My wife and I found her real dad when she was thirty. They've had a wonderful relationship and she's enjoyed meeting some brothers and sisters she didn't know she had. Sometimes these things turn out bad, but not always.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,039
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,039 |
Wow! Best of luck to you bud. She is probably just looking for answers. I know if I was her, I would be. It doesnt seem likely to me she is looking for money like some have said. If I were in your shoes I would meet her at the soonest opportunity. Yall got alot of catching up to do. Never know, it could bring you alot of joy and good times, or grief one. But id lean towards the joy side. And instead of looking at it as your past haunting you, I would look at this as a blessing from God, this aint no coinsidence(probably spelled wrong) brother 
Last edited by I_hate_poachers; 02/11/15 05:10 PM.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,091 Likes: 50
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,091 Likes: 50 |
I've been emailing her all day. When she describes herself it is like she is describing me. She is just like my oldest Daughter who is just like me.
"And the days that I keep my gratitude
Higher than my expectations
Well, I have really good days" Ray Wylie Hubbard
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,511 Likes: 12
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,511 Likes: 12 |
Keep us updated man. I've been emailing her all day. When she describes herself it is like she is describing me. She is just like my oldest Daughter who is just like me.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,039
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,039 |
Keep us updated man. I've been emailing her all day. When she describes herself it is like she is describing me. She is just like my oldest Daughter who is just like me. X2
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 40,042 Likes: 135
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 40,042 Likes: 135 |
I've been emailing her all day. When she describes herself it is like she is describing me. She is just like my oldest Daughter who is just like me.
"Why do you ask"?
Too many people spend money they don't have , on things they don't need, to impress people they don't know.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 19,803
2016 Moderator of the Year
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2016 Moderator of the Year
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 19,803 |
Keep us updated man. I've been emailing her all day. When she describes herself it is like she is describing me. She is just like my oldest Daughter who is just like me. X2 X 3 I'm proud for you actually!
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 20,199 Likes: 84
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 20,199 Likes: 84 |
If he was 17 and she was 24, he wasn't taken advantage of...he was a stud. If there were two women, he was a legend.  In all seriousness, I really hope it works out for you. Good luck.
If voting made any difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.-Mark Twain
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 9,375
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 9,375 |
If you was 17 and she was 24. You was takin advantage of. Let them find the mom first or they ain't no case. All hearsay. Ummmm....don't think a matching DNA is hearsay
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290 |
Keep us updated man. I've been emailing her all day. When she describes herself it is like she is describing me. She is just like my oldest Daughter who is just like me. X2 X 3 I'm proud for you actually! X4! Your a good man cold trail.
If your decoy doesnt have holes in it, your not letting him get close enough... J.H.
"Life lessons are almost never found where you think they should be, sometimes they're in the middle of a small, muddy creek in the woods with steep banks"... DeadorAlive
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,068 Likes: 4
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,068 Likes: 4 |
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,148
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,148 |
Just remember you didn't know and its not the kids fault.
I know it must be a hard thing to deal with but it could also be a blessing in disguise.
good luck.
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 79
spike
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spike
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 79 |
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,091 Likes: 50
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,091 Likes: 50 |
I'm doing much better today. What she said melted my heart.
She loves to just lay outside at night and look at the stars. This is one of my favorite things to do. I love this and do it with my youngest two all the time. She said she would wonder if I was looking at the stars.
She said she felt connected to me more so than her mother since she was small and always hoped she would find me before he mother. I'm overjoyed for her. I hope to meet her in person in a few weeks
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