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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 14,324 Likes: 5
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 14,324 Likes: 5 |
18 years of back child support plus interest plus court fees. Hell I think I'm your kid too. Daddy when you going to me my check?
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,220
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,220 |
That would be a strange way to find out. Did you also submit your DNA or was it just linked through the other family members?
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,511 Likes: 12
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,511 Likes: 12 |
Sounds like from family members. Call me strange, but I would WANT to know if I had a kid running around out there. That would be a strange way to find out. Did you also submit your DNA or was it just linked through the other family members?
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3,348 Likes: 36
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3,348 Likes: 36 |
Dang. That's some heavy stuff right there. At this juncture aint much you or anyone can do about it I would think. Paternity test would be a good idea if you were thinking about making contact with any involved. Good luck.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,092 Likes: 50
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,092 Likes: 50 |
Her mother was married and put here up for adoption. She has been looking for her biological parents for twelve years.
The only way she can be related to both sides is through me. The paternity test will tell the truth.
I did alot of things from age 17 to 24, Im afraid this may be the tip of the ice berg. At 24 I was saved and my life totally turned around. What I struggle with is after all the change and years my past continues to haunt me. Being redeemed doesnt solve all my problems. My wife is handling it well. I dont know how to tell our kids. They only know the person that was redeemed not the selfish person I was
"And the days that I keep my gratitude
Higher than my expectations
Well, I have really good days" Ray Wylie Hubbard
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290 |
WOW! Kinda rocks my world just reading this. I was insanely stupid from age 15-24. To many PC Beach trips and the likes. Prayers for you bud. Sounds like you have been on the right track to handle this since changing your life at 24.
If your decoy doesnt have holes in it, your not letting him get close enough... J.H.
"Life lessons are almost never found where you think they should be, sometimes they're in the middle of a small, muddy creek in the woods with steep banks"... DeadorAlive
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,697
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 4,697 |
Her mother was married and put here up for adoption. She has been looking for her biological parents for twelve years.
The only way she can be related to both sides is through me. The paternity test will tell the truth.
I did alot of things from age 17 to 24, Im afraid this may be the tip of the ice berg. At 24 I was saved and my life totally turned around. What I struggle with is after all the change and years my past continues to haunt me. Being redeemed doesnt solve all my problems. My wife is handling it well. I dont know how to tell our kids. They only know the person that was redeemed not the selfish person I was There isnt a one of us who doesnt have something in our past we dont look back on with regret or shame, or in hindsight would have done differently. You had no knowledge of this until now so dont beat yourself up too bad about it. Im sure your family will understand.
Ethical behavior is doing the right thing when no one else is watching - even when doing the wrong thing is legal. Aldo Leopold .. (except when it comes to trailer tags)
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 460
4 point
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4 point
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 460 |
With your faith and an understanding wife I'm sure things will work out for you.Good luck.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,290 |
With your faith and an understanding wife I'm sure things will work out for you.Good luck. ^^^^^Good post!
If your decoy doesnt have holes in it, your not letting him get close enough... J.H.
"Life lessons are almost never found where you think they should be, sometimes they're in the middle of a small, muddy creek in the woods with steep banks"... DeadorAlive
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,815 Likes: 39
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,815 Likes: 39 |
for a minute I was thinking your daughter was your cousin. that would be weird. congratulations on your new daughter. i would probably meet her and see what type of person she is before I decided to tell the kids. she maybe someone you dont want around your kids.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 25,176 Likes: 153
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 25,176 Likes: 153 |
That's rough that you are just now finding out but just think about your daughter has lived 30 years not knowing. You could use this as a great teaching lesson for your children about actions and consequences. I could easily be in your shoes as I'm sure many others here could, too. Prayers sent for all involved.
" I do view Jim Waltz as a really good Presidential candidate"
Bama_Earl
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,611
Bright Eyes
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Bright Eyes
Joined: Feb 2005
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I'd think seriously before I tried to meet her. Lot of legal ramifications. Heck the mother could claim abandonment and then what Extreme brought up might kick in. Not saying you would lose anything, but paying for a lawyer could be a sizable amount.
BTW, we had a guy that used to be on here that ran into a similar circumstance. He was going to meet his daughter about 8 years ago.
Matt Brock wears knock-off Crocs.
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 5,707 Likes: 3
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 5,707 Likes: 3 |
mercy. what a cautionary tale.
i still intend to do the ancestry dna thing, though.
paulfish4570
Joshua 1:9
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Joined: Nov 2013
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Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 11,315 Likes: 13 |
so did your new daughter submit her dna to them in hopes of finding her parents. How did she find out who her mother was.
How you do anything is how you do everything
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,092 Likes: 50
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 7,092 Likes: 50 |
She submitted her DNA. The results showed she was related to my mother's family in Baltimore. She then found out she was a 2nd cousin to my 1st cousin on my fathers side. then she located my mother.my brothers are twins and were 13, so that left me.
If I was her father there were 3 possibilities as to who her mother was. She had some info about the adoption that narrowed it down. She has not located her mother
Last edited by coldtrail; 02/11/15 08:20 AM.
"And the days that I keep my gratitude
Higher than my expectations
Well, I have really good days" Ray Wylie Hubbard
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,786 Likes: 167
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,786 Likes: 167 |
Her mother was married and put here up for adoption. She has been looking for her biological parents for twelve years.
The only way she can be related to both sides is through me. The paternity test will tell the truth.
I did alot of things from age 17 to 24, Im afraid this may be the tip of the ice berg. At 24 I was saved and my life totally turned around. What I struggle with is after all the change and years my past continues to haunt me. Being redeemed doesnt solve all my problems. My wife is handling it well. I dont know how to tell our kids. They only know the person that was redeemed not the selfish person I was How old are your kids? Tell them the truth in an age appropriate way. I guess depending on their age, they will probably be thrilled to find out they have a big sister. It sounds like you are handling it as you should. You missed the opportunity to raise her, but you can still be her father for the rest of your life. You can't make up for lost time, but just be the best man you can be for her for the rest of your life. I have done the DNA test so now you have me thinking about "what if this were me?" I would hope someone would give me the same advice I'm giving you. You will be in my prayers that this turns out as a positive situation for everyone.
Lord, please help us get our nation straightened out.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,511 Likes: 12
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,511 Likes: 12 |
Prayers man. Sounds like you are doing it the right way. She is seeking you out for a reason, and i don't think that it is for child support. Don't sweat the past. It helped shape the man you are today. She submitted her DNA. The results showed she was related to my mother's family in Baltimore. She then found out she was a 2nd cousin to my 1st cousin on my fathers side. then she located my mother.my brothers are twins and were 13, so that left me.
If I was her father there were 3 possibilities as to who her mother was. She had some info about the adoption that narrowed it down. She has not located her mother
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,068 Likes: 4
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,068 Likes: 4 |
It's too late for anybody to claim child support. You guys should know the law before you speak it and before you give the ol boy more to worry about. I bet She just wants answers. I have a friend that was in her boat. Consider meeting her. She has your blood afterall.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 19,803
2016 Moderator of the Year
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2016 Moderator of the Year
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 19,803 |
BTW, we had a guy that used to be on here that ran into a similar circumstance. He was going to meet his daughter about 8 years ago.
Yep. I'm no attorney but if she was given up for adoption without his knowledge I don't see how anything could be brought against him. I would really want to meet her. Look at it this way she might not want anything to do with you but on other hand she might. I think the positives that could come from this far out weigh the negatives.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437 |
It's too late for anybody to claim child support. You guys should know the law before you speak it and before you give the ol boy more to worry about. That has never stopped them before. Don't be surprised when they tell you you are wrong and don't know what the law is.
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