Chuck Norris got pulled over for speeding and the cop tried to talk his way out of it.

They had to close Chuck Norris Street because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

If you run from Chuck Norris you only die tired.

Chuck Norris can sneak into a room occupied by 4 people, make eye contact with all 4, and then sneak out undetected.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He simply scares the chit out of it.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. Nothing is foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.

A rattlesnake once bit Chuck Norris. After three days of intense pain and agony, the snake finally died.

Leading hand sanitizers can kill up to 99% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants to.

Chuck Norris actually died four years ago, but Death doesn't have the balls to tell him.

On a High School math exam Chuck Norris answered all the questions with "Violence". He got an A+ because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.

Chuck Norris invented the color black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of colors. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris can play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver, and win.

"Some men are mere hunters; others are turkey hunters."

-- Archibald Rutledge