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13 members (coosabuckhunter, UA Hunter, gregnbc, catdoctor, Exhoosier, Stacey, dustymac, JD53, BrandonClark, odocoileus, Thread Killer, fish251, 1 invisible),
716
guests, and
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547
Used to be TiderBD
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Used to be TiderBD
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547 |
They came out with a Chuck Norris brand of toilet paper but had to quickly pull it back off the shelves. Apparently it wouldn't take s##t off of nobody. 
A servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.
USAF Veteran
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,780
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,780 |
Some people piss their name in the snow, Chuck Norris can piss his name in the concrete.
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 27,502 Likes: 28
Talking Turkey
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Talking Turkey
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 27,502 Likes: 28 |
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,074
6 point
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6 point
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,074 |
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, but he never cries
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 57,337 Likes: 113
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 57,337 Likes: 113 |
Bahahahahahaha Bahahahahahaha
Last edited by james; 11/13/14 08:53 AM.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,577
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,577 |
‘Obama Is the Greatest Hoax Ever Perpetrated on the American People’ - Clint Eastwood
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,095
ishootatbux
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ishootatbux
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,095 |
When Chuck Norris got off the merry-go-round, they had to put the horse down.
Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Chuck Norris can parallel park a train.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin' bout.
We were on the edge of Eternia, when the power of Greyskull began to take hold.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 44,377 Likes: 28
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 44,377 Likes: 28 |
Merry Christmas Chuck 
LUCK:::; When presistence, dedication, perspiration and preparation meet up with opportunity!!!
- - - - - - - -A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jeferson - - - - - - - -
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with a cordless phone.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
Chuck Norris's orgasms leave exit wounds.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 18,338 Likes: 87
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 18,338 Likes: 87 |
You know the man on the moon? Chuck put him there.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 26,712 Likes: 31
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 26,712 Likes: 31 |
Chuck Norris doesn't have to cheat death. He can kick it's ass fair and square.
"Some men are mere hunters; others are turkey hunters."
-- Archibald Rutledge
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,967 Likes: 1
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,967 Likes: 1 |
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
We are not perfect, only forgiven!!!
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
A man once told C N there was no wrong way to eat a Reese's. C N promptly showed him that there was by killing the man's wife with it.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects C N could use to kill you with....including the room itself.
C N was the inspiration for Donkey Kong, HD-TV, and waterslides. Yes, water-slides.
Rather than take showers, C N rides a 9' grizzly bear through a car wash.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 26,712 Likes: 31
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 26,712 Likes: 31 |
Chuck Norris got pulled over for speeding and the cop tried to talk his way out of it.
They had to close Chuck Norris Street because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
If you run from Chuck Norris you only die tired.
Chuck Norris can sneak into a room occupied by 4 people, make eye contact with all 4, and then sneak out undetected.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He simply scares the chit out of it.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. Nothing is foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris.
A rattlesnake once bit Chuck Norris. After three days of intense pain and agony, the snake finally died.
Leading hand sanitizers can kill up to 99% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants to.
Chuck Norris actually died four years ago, but Death doesn't have the balls to tell him.
On a High School math exam Chuck Norris answered all the questions with "Violence". He got an A+ because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.
Chuck Norris invented the color black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of colors. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris can play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver, and win.
"Some men are mere hunters; others are turkey hunters."
-- Archibald Rutledge
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979 |
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,577
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,577 |
Chuck Norris's orgasms leave exit wounds. 
‘Obama Is the Greatest Hoax Ever Perpetrated on the American People’ - Clint Eastwood
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
Napoleon lost the battle at Waterloo because he couldn't speak English and C N wouldn't lower himself to speak French.
The famous video footage of Sasquatch is actually C N returning to his woodland home.
C N stole your bike.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are secretly married. Chuck wears the pants.
Chuck Norris accidentally created Optimus Prime while trying to come up with a prototype fort the Total Gym.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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