So sorry to hear that. I went through almost the exact same thing with my Dad 8 years ago. I also thought about giving him to much morphine to send him home sooner with less pain. I called my wifes aunt who is a nurse and told her what I was thinking and she advised me against it. Now Im glad i didnt do it. Still miss my Dad but the sting is less.
This was my situation. The hospice nurse came by thursday and told us what to look for in terms of discomfort, and dad started displaying those signs later in the afternoon. I ended up being the morphine dosing family member, so every 2 hours I had to give him a dose. His breathing was becoming more labored as the night progressed. The 3:30 AM dose was one where I was thinking about giving him way more. It is tough to watch and deal with the internal conflict of not wanting him to pass, while at the same time, not wanting him to suffer. I dosed him again at 5:30, and he lasted an hour. He was probably only breathing about 6 times a minute.
He died with me holding his right hand and mom holding his left.
I appreciate all of you praying for me and my family. It's been a huge loss for all of us. We watched him die over the course of about a month.
