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22 members (Cfh76, Gut Pile 32, BRP549, Auburn1716, ALclearcut, Jstocks, dave260rem!, Parker243, 7x57_Mauser, Gobble4me757, woodduck, ImThere, MoeBuck, Jehu, James, Chad Burnette, Dixiepatriot, donia, Thread Killer, 3 invisible),
776
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 31,681
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 31,681 |
Nancy Pelosi called Chuck Schumer one day and said, I have a plan to help us win the mid terms in 2018 and help us regain control of Congress.
"Great Nancy, but how?" asked Chuck..
“We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the shelter and pick up a Labrador retriever, and we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there." So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Chuck Shumer and Nancy Pelosi?"
“Yes we are!" said Nancy, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Chuck suggested we stop and take in some local color." They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen. A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador , lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads. Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"
"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two azzholes!"
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 30,089 Likes: 46
Administrator
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Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 30,089 Likes: 46 |
"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,661
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,661 |
Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 21,456
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 21,456 |
Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,546
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,546 |
"For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America" ~Benjamin Franklin
Isaiah 40:13-14
RAP is CRAP
NRA Life Member, GOA, BamaCarry Member
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 15,167 Likes: 7
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 15,167 Likes: 7 |
Would walk over a naked woman to get to a gobblin turkey!
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,839 Likes: 8
Booner
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Booner
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,839 Likes: 8 |
"Don't let a dead deer kill ya"
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 8,276 Likes: 23
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 8,276 Likes: 23 |
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
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Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 46
spike
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spike
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 46 |
How come zombies don't eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
Remember, wherever you go that's where you are.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 18,341 Likes: 87
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 18,341 Likes: 87 |
Not a joke. This really happened. I met a girl in Dee Ford's in Anniston one night and thought I was doing alright enough to get her #. She wrote 773-4206. And she wrote her name upside down below it. You'll have to turn the # upside down to see the significance of that.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,877
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,877 |
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking????
USE LUBRICATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,794 Likes: 38
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 5,794 Likes: 38 |
Not a joke. This really happened. I met a girl in Dee Ford's in Anniston one night and thought I was doing alright enough to get her #. She wrote 773-4206. And she wrote her name upside down below it. You'll have to turn the # upside down to see the significance of that. took me a little while to figure that out.
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![[Linked Image]](https://i.imgur.com/ZZvUWK7.jpg)
