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38 members (kyles, Irishguy, Curdoggin, outdoorguy88, jacannon, MoeBuck, StateLine, MikeP, 000buck, Fbw93, cartervj, Narrow Gap, Skullworks, wareagle22, Obsession, PikeRoadHunter, AUjerbear, Josh3, MCW, BPI, Young20, 3Gs, 7mmSTW, mopar, Bama-66, fur_n_feathers, mjs14, janiemae, Fishminer91, gobblebox, gregnbc, catdoctor, 6 invisible),
746
guests, and
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 5,711
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 5,711 |
For when someone is trying to tell you how to do something, especially your wife: "Who's f***ing this goat anyway?" Also. "I'm as full as a tick." "If you gonna be dumb, you better be tough".
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,938 Likes: 130
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,938 Likes: 130 |
You encourage what you tolerate
Good one.
"Why do you ask"?
Too many people spend money they don't have , on things they don't need, to impress people they don't know.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,159
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,159 |
When dealing with people who have too much energy to burn:
He makes me tired just lookin at him.
He'd make a cup of coffee nervous.
When someone is proud of an accomplishment and brags on it:
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
To the wife:
You can tell me what you want done, or how you want it done, but you don't get to tell me both!
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,361
8 point
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8 point
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,361 |
I don't have any that I use all the time, but on occasion, I have a few "go-to" ones:
Were you born stupid or is this a recent development?
You don't have to be scared to get whooped!
I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth
Wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one gets full quickest
Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day
You're a liar and your feet don't match
The nut didn't fall too far from the tree
Happiness is a choice, not a consequence
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people that ask questions
He's so crooked that when he dies, they'll have to screw him into the ground
I'm not conceited, just convinced
I think extremist should be shot
Never take dieting advice from someone fatter than yourself (lots of applications on this one, like advice about raising kids from someone that doesn't have kids, etc)
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Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,510
12 point
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12 point
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,510 |
Drunker than a cricket in a hubcap.
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,392 Likes: 13
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,392 Likes: 13 |
There are no accidents, just F'ups.
“It’s enough to make a man feel sour. Burning minutes every day by the hour. Just to end up gone like everything else.”
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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 6
spike
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spike
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 6 |
When all you have is a hammer, all you see are nails.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,111
Basket Rack
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Basket Rack
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,111 |
When someone is doing something stupid.. you look like a monkey f'n a football
When someone does something right... that's slicker than whale shucks in an ice flow
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9,166 Likes: 17
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9,166 Likes: 17 |
One my grandad use to say. "Better to arrive late at the golden gate than to arrive in hell on time". He was a slow careful driver
David looney
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9,166 Likes: 17
14 point
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14 point
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 9,166 Likes: 17 |
S... t through a screen door
David looney
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 52
spike
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spike
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 52 |
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,110 Likes: 1
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 18,110 Likes: 1 |
Well behaved women never make history.~ Out back
Quit laughing...I think I broke something.
Fifteen is my limit on Schnitzen-Gruben, Baby...
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect, but only for a minute.
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
10 point
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10 point
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317 |
Confused as a termite inna wooden yo-yo.
Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,598
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,598 |
You encourage what you tolerate
Good one. I agree. Gonna start using that one at the shop.
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 17,204 Likes: 23
Old Mossy Horns
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Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 17,204 Likes: 23 |
my couch pulls out but I don't  That one tickled me... 
Did you know that Beer Nutz are over a Dollar...and Deer Nutz are under a Buck...
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 46,042 Likes: 231
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 46,042 Likes: 231 |
When asked how I'm doing...... "I was doing real good but I'm over it now"
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 138
3 point
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3 point
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 138 |
The one I seem to be using more and more is "I get so tired of bein stoopid"
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 20,017
Freak of Nature
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Freak of Nature
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 20,017 |
Tickled as a twopeckered billy goat.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,565
Footbsll Bat PSYOPS
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Footbsll Bat PSYOPS
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,565 |
After making a DRT shot: "Dropped him like a used rubber."
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8
Doesn’t Know His Code
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Doesn’t Know His Code
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,564 Likes: 8 |
Go eff your mother.
Happier than a fag with a fist full of d's.
IKNOWMYPHUCKINGCODEDAMMITYOUDICKHEAD!!!
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