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Embarrassing stories #860729
02/12/14 07:02 PM
02/12/14 07:02 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
tfd1224 Offline OP
14 point
tfd1224  Offline OP
14 point
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
I like a good ole embarrasing story every now and then. Here's mine. I downloaded what I thought was a really funny ringtone to my phone and kinda forgot about it. I went over to my neighbors house on my 4 wheeler to ask him about something. My neighbor is a really really religious and straight laced guy, home schools his kids etc. as we are sitting there talking I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket and I say hold on a second, then this British butler type voice comes over my phone and says " someone is endeavoring to contact you, shall I tell them to fu** off?" I think I turned 50 shades of red. I immediately went home and deleted that ringtone. Keep em coming


Yeah c’mon. Daniel White
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860735
02/12/14 07:05 PM
02/12/14 07:05 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield
Beadlescomb Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Beadlescomb  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield
I shucks and pissed my pants from laughing at a buddy falling out of a boat


Come to think of it that sum bitch falls out of the boat all of the time. Usually a sign we are going to get on some fish

Last edited by Beadlescomb; 02/12/14 07:10 PM.

We will burn that bridge when we get there
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860743
02/12/14 07:08 PM
02/12/14 07:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
W
Wiley Coyote Offline
Freak of Nature
Wiley Coyote  Offline
Freak of Nature
W
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
Had a ringtone that was an East Indian voice thing...."Bing bing-ding ding-hello-good bye-thank you-bing bing" and it rang when I was paying at a dang convenience store with a dot Indian behind the counter laugh It was actually funny as Hell now that I think about it.

Had another one that was gunshots with a few ricochet sounds. It rang while I was in a meeting in a conference room on Redstone. Everybody just laughed. That one actually kinda embarrassed me. laugh


I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.




NRA Life Member
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860747
02/12/14 07:11 PM
02/12/14 07:11 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
Bigbamaboy Offline
14 point
Bigbamaboy  Offline
14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
That's pretty good. I was goin to start this thread the other day and you beat me to it.

When I was about ten years old, I was out entertaining my self with a can of black spray paint. Idk what I was thinkin but i wrote some profanities on a huge stump in our back yard. I was going to paint over them, but due to a short attention span i was off to something else. Latter on that day my parents had some friends over. One of them goes walkin into the back and bust out laughing. I soon realized what the fuss was about. Whoops.


Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860756
02/12/14 07:17 PM
02/12/14 07:17 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,427
MattIce Offline
10 point
MattIce  Offline
10 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,427
Haha. Here's one of mine.
Back in school towards the end of the day between the last two classes of the day I went to take a piss. After being up all night I was half asleep and somehow forgot to unzip my pants. I pissed all over myself and didn't realize it till I got to my next class and the whole class began to smell piss. Was a rough evening.


Parked in a holler, beneath the mountain moon light.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860763
02/12/14 07:20 PM
02/12/14 07:20 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
Bigbamaboy Offline
14 point
Bigbamaboy  Offline
14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
It wasnt me, but the ringtones reminded me of a funny story. We were at work one day and for some reason were at an alternator shop in Rainsville. The owner is a super nice guy and is very conservative. He has a sign up in his store that reads something along the lines of " No profanity, respect others, no dirty jokes etc."
well one coworker sends another one a text while we are standing in a crowd of men. When he opens it a funny voice screams out " hey everybody look, I have gay porn on my cell phone, no look, really I have lots of gay porn on my cell phone".

The guy who opened the text is easily embarrassed and he panicked. He couldn't turn the message off and it just kept playing till he just ran outside. I was in tears.

Last edited by Bigbamaboy; 02/12/14 07:22 PM.

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860770
02/12/14 07:25 PM
02/12/14 07:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 23,871
Clarksville, TN /Greenville, ...
bill Offline
Freak of Nature
bill  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 23,871
Clarksville, TN /Greenville, ...

Met a guy from Selma that started working at the grocery store I worked at. I started telling him about this crazy girl I met that lived there and how nuts she was. Turned out it was his sister.


"Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles"
-
Bauvard
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860771
02/12/14 07:26 PM
02/12/14 07:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
W
Wiley Coyote Offline
Freak of Nature
Wiley Coyote  Offline
Freak of Nature
W
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
Another ringtone.....reminded me of a friend who's teenage son downloaded some ringtones on his Dad's phone and assigned them to different incoming calls. A few days later we were at work, in a building with suits and ties present, and this guy gets a call " Hey you no good child support skipping son-of-a-bitch" ......He turned every shade of red in the color spectrum and ran outside apologizing the whole way

Last edited by Wiley Coyote; 02/12/14 07:27 PM.

I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.




NRA Life Member
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: bill] #860775
02/12/14 07:29 PM
02/12/14 07:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
Bigbamaboy Offline
14 point
Bigbamaboy  Offline
14 point
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9,643
Pisgah Al
Originally Posted By: bill

Met a guy from Selma that started working at the grocery store I worked at. I started telling him about this crazy girl I met that lived there and how nuts she was. Turned out it was his sister.


Could have been a lot worse. She could have been good lookin and...


Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860790
02/12/14 07:44 PM
02/12/14 07:44 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
W
Wiley Coyote Offline
Freak of Nature
Wiley Coyote  Offline
Freak of Nature
W
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
A friend of mine in hardware sales went to a trade show in Shreveport back about 1980. Checked it at a hotel and there was a fine little lady working the desk. He checks in, cleans up, comes down to flirt and see where it goes. They end up going to dinner and back at the hotel, in the elevator he's kissing her and reacher under her skirt. She's got more junk than him. Claimed he stopped the elevator and beat the Hell out of "it". I guarantee if it had happened to me there would only be 2 people that EVER knew about it


I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.




NRA Life Member
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860792
02/12/14 07:46 PM
02/12/14 07:46 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
C
Clem Offline
Mildly Quirky
Clem  Offline
Mildly Quirky
C
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
In high school I was working at our grocery store stocking eggs. The mortician in town was coming up the aisle. A nice, Christian man. Proper, as you might expect a funeral home owner to be.

"Good evening," he said.

Out of habit I said:

"Hey, Mr. Peck! How're you doing? Been busy lately?"

It was like the world stopped turning for about 4.3 seconds as what I said literally sunk into my brain and then warped around reason. He merely smiled as I stammered a breathless apology and said, "That's OK. I hear that a lot from my friends. Fortunately, we haven't been lately."


"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter

"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013

"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860800
02/12/14 07:52 PM
02/12/14 07:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
W
Wiley Coyote Offline
Freak of Nature
Wiley Coyote  Offline
Freak of Nature
W
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 44,211
North Alabama
laugh that would be m-baraskin Clem laugh


I firmly believe that a double gallows should be constructed on the East Lawn of The White House. Politicians who willfully and shamelessly violate their oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America should be swiftly tried and, upon conviction, publicly hanged at sunup the day after conviction. If multiple convicts are to be hanged they can choose with whom to share the gallows or names shall be drawn from the hangman's hat to be hanged 2 at a time.




NRA Life Member
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860802
02/12/14 07:54 PM
02/12/14 07:54 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
C
Clem Offline
Mildly Quirky
Clem  Offline
Mildly Quirky
C
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
Foot, mouth, the entire shebang.


"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter

"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013

"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860847
02/12/14 09:44 PM
02/12/14 09:44 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,622
Blount County
BamaBart Offline
Panty Wearin' Hunter
BamaBart  Offline
Panty Wearin' Hunter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 8,622
Blount County
My son's in-laws are great people. His father-in-law is a retired principle and his mother-in-law is a retired teacher. They are very sweet people! I was talking to his mother-in-law about a guy I know who died of prostate cancer. I had forgotten that her husband (my son's father-in-law) had prostate cancer and was having some problems after his surgery! She got tears in her eyes and I felt like a fool! slap
I changed the subject really quick! That was over a year ago and I still feel bad about it! blush


.
.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Wiley Coyote] #860884
02/13/14 02:19 AM
02/13/14 02:19 AM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,402
Irvington, AL
sethjamtoe Offline
12 point
sethjamtoe  Offline
12 point
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,402
Irvington, AL
Originally Posted By: Wiley Coyote
Had a ringtone that was an East Indian voice thing...."Bing bing-ding ding-hello-good bye-thank you-bing bing" and it rang when I was paying at a dang convenience store with a dot Indian behind the counter laugh It was actually funny as Hell now that I think about it.

Had another one that was gunshots with a few ricochet sounds. It rang while I was in a meeting in a conference room on Redstone. Everybody just laughed. That one actually kinda embarrassed me. laugh


I used to have the gunshot one too....until I was standing in line at the bank and someone called me! I promptly deleted that ringtone! ha ha ha

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: BamaBart] #860893
02/13/14 02:29 AM
02/13/14 02:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,761
Buc-ee’s Beach Express
leroycnbucks Offline
Freak of Nature
leroycnbucks  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,761
Buc-ee’s Beach Express
I accidentally went into the woman's restroom and did a big ole #2. I had to go so bad that I didn't pay any attention to the name tag above the door. There were no ladies in it when I first walked in but about a half duzen were in there when I finished. The looks on their faces when I opened that stall door was priceless. I washed my hands and smiled and said thank you ladies. Then I pretty much ran to the truck and got the heck out of there.


Proud Army and ALNG veteran
God Bless America!
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860897
02/13/14 02:42 AM
02/13/14 02:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.


"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #860900
02/13/14 02:45 AM
02/13/14 02:45 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster
Bowhunter84 Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Bowhunter84  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.



rofl


"Just remember a gobbler has to win every time, you only have to win once"
BC
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860901
02/13/14 02:46 AM
02/13/14 02:46 AM
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 337
Fayette
Tittle Offline
4 point
Tittle  Offline
4 point
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 337
Fayette
I was sixteen and had just gotten my first bass boat. My cousin and I were fishing a tourney on the warrior. He backed me down and I was idling around in the dark waiting to pick him up at the dock ( thinking I was king of hill). I eased up to the dock and he said " is there a reason for all that water in the floor?" I forgot the plug... Almost sunk it the first time I went by myself.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Bowhunter84] #860904
02/13/14 02:53 AM
02/13/14 02:53 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield
Beadlescomb Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Beadlescomb  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield

Originally Posted By: Bowhunter84
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.



Been there before that's a rough feeling

rofl


We will burn that bridge when we get there
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860945
02/13/14 03:43 AM
02/13/14 03:43 AM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 8,730
bessemer, al
H
hunterturf Online content
14 point
hunterturf  Online Content
14 point
H
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 8,730
bessemer, al
I went with my dad to hang a stand for me to bow hunt out of but had to cross soapstone creek. The slickest dang thing u have ever tried to walk on.we got it hung and I was racing back to the truck to drive back to the gate. SPLASH!!!! sitting in the middle of the creek I turn around to see if he saw me.... and of course he did

Fast forward 24 hours and I go to hunt this new stand. He dropped me off 300 yards from the creek at the edge of a big field and said he would pick me up THERE at dark. I was in pines and it was starting to get dark quick and for safety reasons only (a the fact that gill man lived in that creek) i start to get my crap together. On flippin que of my feet hitting the ground a pack of coyotes crank up several hundred yards away. Trent richardson wouldnt have been able to keep up as i sprinted out of that pine thicket!!!!! Down the road i go toward the creek. Remembering that i had failed a speedy crossing the day before i go from a healthy jog to a crawl as I stuck my boot in the water. Its at this point I hear something and look across the creek I see my dad.......he was of course laughing uncontrollably.....


Give me bout 15 more minutes, I was dreamin about beavers..........
Si Robertson
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860980
02/13/14 04:17 AM
02/13/14 04:17 AM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,863
Tuscaloosa
Booger Offline
Picker
Booger  Offline
Picker
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,863
Tuscaloosa
Ok, here is just one of my Fraudian slips. The incident happened 10-11 years ago. It happened right after Alabama men's basketball team had made it to the sweet 16 or the elite 8 I don't remember. Anyway, Coach Godfrey and his family attended the same church we did. Well, we always sat in the back because our son can be loud due to his disability, the Godfrey gang always sat behind us. Well the Sunday after Alabama gets put out of the tournament Mark is back with family. During the meet and greet part of the service, yes Baptist, I say this to Mark, "Hey Mark, nice semen". I don't know why season came out semen. He didn't hear it, cause he just went right along thanking for support and stuff. I on the other hand was about to hyperventilate and crap my pants. I told my wife what happened and she had to get up and leave for laughing so hard. I never did ask Mark or Elizabeth about that. I have more stories but I don't want to overwhelm you guys with my stupidity.


Pick'n and a grin'n
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #860984
02/13/14 04:20 AM
02/13/14 04:20 AM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 9,035
Jasper
bama7x57 Offline
14 point
bama7x57  Offline
14 point
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 9,035
Jasper
I once informed the President of our company that he has something stuck on his forehead. He politely informed me he was Catholic and it was Ash Wednesday. My heart sank, but he was cool about it.


Take your kids hunting instead of hunting your kids.

I'd rather be LOST in the woods than FOUND in the city.

Drive a hybrid, I need your gas.

Your mind is your primary weapon. Never let it get rusty.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861021
02/13/14 05:00 AM
02/13/14 05:00 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
TChunter Offline
Booner
TChunter  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
i have no embarrassing stories, everything in my life has been pre-calculated and with purpose.


On the Eighth day God created flounder.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861072
02/13/14 05:45 AM
02/13/14 05:45 AM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,057
Alabama Wetumpka
Talltines Offline
on probation
Talltines  Offline
on probation
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,057
Alabama Wetumpka
Well There are a couple I can think Of. But this one happened a couple years ago so its still fresh in my mind. I was working nights at the Bartending at the Casino in Wetumpka and Guiding at my lodge. So after hunting season and I had a couple days off from the casino I was having trouble sleeping. Well the doc gave me sleeping pills. Now I was staying at the lodge with my dad and Wife. I can't sleep at all with clothes on. So I take the pill Fall asleep finally. The next morning I wake up expecting to roll over and see my wife nope there was my dad. I quickly jump up and ran to the room. Asked my dad about it that morning. He said well just figured she kicked your Arss out.


Hunting Is my Obsession, My Passion, My Everything, Oh so is my wife.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861075
02/13/14 05:47 AM
02/13/14 05:47 AM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 36,092
alabama
BhamFred Offline
Freak of Nature
BhamFred  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 36,092
alabama
not me, a guy I worked with once took his date home and they were "sitting" on the front porch wooden swing. His pants down, her legs stuck out the back of the swing, going at it. Swing broke. Girls legs broke. Everybody stuck, till dad came out the front door.......


I've spent most of the money I've made in my lifetime on hunting and fishing. The rest I just wasted.....

proud Cracker-Americaan

muslims are like coyotes, only good one is a dead one
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861088
02/13/14 05:57 AM
02/13/14 05:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,249
N. Alabama
Reyn Offline
10 point
Reyn  Offline
10 point
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,249
N. Alabama
I got called into court on an off day. Was sitting at the DAs table during opening statement of a felony DUI trial. Had a new phone in which my wife had downloaded some Journey song as her ringtone. As the DA is giving her opening statement it goes off in my shirt pocket and its loud. On top of that I am panicking and can't get it turned off. Finally I just cover it and squeeze til it quit ringing or I silenced it.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: BhamFred] #861097
02/13/14 06:01 AM
02/13/14 06:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 12,018
chilton co.
trox28 Offline
on probation
trox28  Offline
on probation
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 12,018
chilton co.
Originally Posted By: BhamFred
not me, a guy I worked with once took his date home and they were "sitting" on the front porch wooden swing. His pants down, her legs stuck out the back of the swing, going at it. Swing broke. Girls legs broke. Everybody stuck, till dad came out the front door.......


Dammit man laugh

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: BhamFred] #861099
02/13/14 06:04 AM
02/13/14 06:04 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee

Originally Posted By: BhamFred
not me, a guy I worked with once took his date home and they were "sitting" on the front porch wooden swing. His pants down, her legs stuck out the back of the swing, going at it. Swing broke. Girls legs broke. Everybody stuck, till dad came out the front door.......


laugh


"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #861111
02/13/14 06:09 AM
02/13/14 06:09 AM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,242
Central, AL
280Rem. Offline
12 point
280Rem.  Offline
12 point
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,242
Central, AL
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.

rofl

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: BhamFred] #861119
02/13/14 06:16 AM
02/13/14 06:16 AM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,242
Central, AL
280Rem. Offline
12 point
280Rem.  Offline
12 point
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,242
Central, AL
Originally Posted By: BhamFred
not me, a guy I worked with once took his date home and they were "sitting" on the front porch wooden swing. His pants down, her legs stuck out the back of the swing, going at it. Swing broke. Girls legs broke. Everybody stuck, till dad came out the front door.......


That was a bad day.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861125
02/13/14 06:21 AM
02/13/14 06:21 AM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
tfd1224 Offline OP
14 point
tfd1224  Offline OP
14 point
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
Tall tines just reminded me of another one. I was working on an ambulance at this time and my wife and I were living with her mom and stepdad. Well I had had one of those 24 hour shifts on the ambulance where I got a grand total of about 15 minutes of sleep and I had to do something the next day too so I didn't sleep during the day. Well we go to sleep and I wake up to get in the shower in the morning and I am remembering a weird dream I had last night but it seemed so real. I got out of the shower and told my wife, she was my girlfriend then. I said I don't know if it really happened but I think I dreamed I woke up in your parents bed wearing nothing but my undies on my hands and knees between your mom and stepdad, then your stepdad wakes up and says what the f*** are you doing in our bed? Then your mom asks the same thing and I say hell I don't really know so I crawled over your mom, I mean straddled her and got out of the bed and came back in here. She said it must have been a dream because I never got out of bed. At 9:00 I was sitting at work and got a text saying it wasn't a dream. For 3 months until we finally closed on our house I got little prods like, well I guess we're going to go get the bed warm for nick and all kinds of crap like that. It was like the gift that kept on giving.


Yeah c’mon. Daniel White
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861127
02/13/14 06:23 AM
02/13/14 06:23 AM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,044
etowah co.
shootnmiss Offline
8 point
shootnmiss  Offline
8 point
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,044
etowah co.
Me my wife n three kids at acadamy on night. Id been dranking patron, stomach got tore up and I chit myself, BAD. It was running in my boots.
Had to ride home nekkid in back of truck in December.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861128
02/13/14 06:24 AM
02/13/14 06:24 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee

Originally Posted By: tfd1224
Tall tines just reminded me of another one. I was working on an ambulance at this time and my wife and I were living with her mom and stepdad. Well I had had one of those 24 hour shifts on the ambulance where I got a grand total of about 15 minutes of sleep and I had to do something the next day too so I didn't sleep during the day. Well we go to sleep and I wake up to get in the shower in the morning and I am remembering a weird dream I had last night but it seemed so real. I got out of the shower and told my wife, she was my girlfriend then. I said I don't know if it really happened but I think I dreamed I woke up in your parents bed wearing nothing but my undies on my hands and knees between your mom and stepdad, then your stepdad wakes up and says what the f*** are you doing in our bed? Then your mom asks the same thing and I say hell I don't really know so I crawled over your mom, I mean straddled her and got out of the bed and came back in here. She said it must have been a dream because I never got out of bed. At 9:00 I was sitting at work and got a text saying it wasn't a dream. For 3 months until we finally closed on our house I got little prods like, well I guess we're going to go get the bed warm for nick and all kinds of crap like that. It was like the gift that kept on giving.


What the mom look like?? laugh lol


"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: shootnmiss] #861129
02/13/14 06:25 AM
02/13/14 06:25 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
Originally Posted By: shootnmiss
Me my wife n three kids at acadamy on night. Id been dranking patron, stomach got tore up and I chit myself, BAD. It was running in my boots.
Had to ride home nekkid in back of truck in December.


WTF?? are u for real? smile

Last edited by daniel white; 02/13/14 06:35 AM.

"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #861147
02/13/14 06:34 AM
02/13/14 06:34 AM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield
Beadlescomb Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Beadlescomb  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield

Originally Posted By: daniel white

Originally Posted By: shootnmiss
Me my wife n three kids at acadamy on night. Id been dranking patron, stomach got tore up and I chit myself, BAD. It was running in my boots.
Had to ride home nekkid in back of truck in December.


WTF?? are u for real?


We've all been there


We will burn that bridge when we get there
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: shootnmiss] #861152
02/13/14 06:37 AM
02/13/14 06:37 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547
Panhandle Florida
PaschalBD Offline
Used to be TiderBD
PaschalBD  Offline
Used to be TiderBD
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,547
Panhandle Florida
Me and a buddy are gonna fish in a tournament on a lake neither of us had fished before. Late one evening a couple weeks before the tournament we bust off to the lake to do a pre-fish. We fished all the way up till dark and had traveled several miles away from the launch. On our way back, I get a stomach cramp of epic proportions and tell my buddy to get me to shore ASAP. The boat gets to within feet of hard ground and I jump out and run for brush. I'm facing the water when a flood light comes on and I turn my head to see an entire family sitting at their dinner table in front of a giant picture glass window horrified by my appearance in half pinch. Man of the house comes out the door yelling and ask me if I had to do that in his yard as I'm jumping back in the boat, shorts around my ankles. Hung my butt of the back of the boat hanging onto the outboard and finished up.

Last edited by PaschalBD; 02/13/14 06:38 AM.

A servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.


USAF Veteran
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #861153
02/13/14 06:37 AM
02/13/14 06:37 AM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,725
Phenix City, Al.
DeerTracker Offline
10 point
DeerTracker  Offline
10 point
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,725
Phenix City, Al.
At kids little league ball game on motorcycle. Stomach cramping really bad And i knew i had to do something quickly. Went into bathroom at concession stand and I stool was out of order and the other was full with 2 kids waiting. My Mom lived a couple block over so i ran to motorcycle flew to Mom's house ran in bathroom, yanked down shorts and underwear and exploded in the toilet just in time I thought. Finished my business and went back to game. As I was sitting down in stands, the people behind me knew me and said i had something all over the back of my shorts and shirt. I just thought i had made it in time. I handled it like a pro and said "Thanks, I must have sit in somethign and went home."


As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Beadlescomb] #861164
02/13/14 06:41 AM
02/13/14 06:41 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 12,018
chilton co.
trox28 Offline
on probation
trox28  Offline
on probation
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 12,018
chilton co.
Originally Posted By: Beadlescomb

Originally Posted By: daniel white

Originally Posted By: shootnmiss
Me my wife n three kids at acadamy on night. Id been dranking patron, stomach got tore up and I chit myself, BAD. It was running in my boots.
Had to ride home nekkid in back of truck in December.


WTF?? are u for real?


We've all been there


No..no we havent. laugh

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: bama7x57] #861185
02/13/14 06:46 AM
02/13/14 06:46 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,404
Gainesville, Florida
Ian Offline
8 point
Ian  Offline
8 point
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,404
Gainesville, Florida
Originally Posted By: bama7x57
I once informed the President of our company that he has something stuck on his forehead. He politely informed me he was Catholic and it was Ash Wednesday. My heart sank, but he was cool about it.


It could be worse, I asked my district manager if he wanted a slice of my bacon pizza... He's jewish

About thirty minutes later I had a coming to point realizing what I did.

Next time he came in I apologized, he was cool about it.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: trox28] #861188
02/13/14 06:46 AM
02/13/14 06:46 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
TChunter Offline
Booner
TChunter  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
The shock collar- rofl


Troys story- awesome!


As far as getting in bed with your wifes mom, pics of mom needed to determine further action.


On the Eighth day God created flounder.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: trox28] #861192
02/13/14 06:48 AM
02/13/14 06:48 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,035
central alabama
J
JA Offline
pic perv
JA  Offline
pic perv
J
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,035
central alabama
Originally Posted By: trox28
Originally Posted By: Beadlescomb

Originally Posted By: daniel white

Originally Posted By: shootnmiss
Me my wife n three kids at acadamy on night. Id been dranking patron, stomach got tore up and I chit myself, BAD. It was running in my boots.
Had to ride home nekkid in back of truck in December.


WTF?? are u for real?


We've all been there


No..no we havent. laugh

Agreed. Never been THERE thank God.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #861196
02/13/14 06:49 AM
02/13/14 06:49 AM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
tfd1224 Offline OP
14 point
tfd1224  Offline OP
14 point
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
Originally Posted By: daniel white

Originally Posted By: tfd1224
Tall tines just reminded me of another one. I was working on an ambulance at this time and my wife and I were living with her mom and stepdad. Well I had had one of those 24 hour shifts on the ambulance where I got a grand total of about 15 minutes of sleep and I had to do something the next day too so I didn't sleep during the day. Well we go to sleep and I wake up to get in the shower in the morning and I am remembering a weird dream I had last night but it seemed so real. I got out of the shower and told my wife, she was my girlfriend then. I said I don't know if it really happened but I think I dreamed I woke up in your parents bed wearing nothing but my undies on my hands and knees between your mom and stepdad, then your stepdad wakes up and says what the f*** are you doing in our bed? Then your mom asks the same thing and I say hell I don't really know so I crawled over your mom, I mean straddled her and got out of the bed and came back in here. She said it must have been a dream because I never got out of bed. At 9:00 I was sitting at work and got a text saying it wasn't a dream. For 3 months until we finally closed on our house I got little prods like, well I guess we're going to go get the bed warm for nick and all kinds of crap like that. It was like the gift that kept on giving.


What the mom look like?? laugh lol



Yeah c’mon. Daniel White
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861204
02/13/14 06:53 AM
02/13/14 06:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
slap


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Shaw] #861209
02/13/14 06:55 AM
02/13/14 06:55 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
TChunter Offline
Booner
TChunter  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
I think its rude to post Trox's portrait W/O his permission.


On the Eighth day God created flounder.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: TChunter] #861224
02/13/14 07:01 AM
02/13/14 07:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 12,018
chilton co.
trox28 Offline
on probation
trox28  Offline
on probation
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 12,018
chilton co.
Originally Posted By: TChunter
I think its rude to post Trox's portrait W/O his permission.


He sent me a pm..I told him it was ok.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #861275
02/13/14 07:36 AM
02/13/14 07:36 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 15,509
Montgomery
bamaeyedoc Offline
Old Mossy Horns
bamaeyedoc  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 15,509
Montgomery
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.
rofl rofl
I am crying here!! "Trying to burn the bearings out of it!" Really???!! Best term for it I've heard in years!

Dr. B


AKA: “Dr. B”
Aldeer #121
8-3-2000
Proud alum of AUM, UAB, and UA
Member of Team 10 Point
2023-2024 ALdeer Deer Contest Winners

Glennis Jerome "Jerry" Harris
1938-2017
UGA Class of 1960
BS/MS Forestry
LTJG, USNR



Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #861351
02/13/14 08:39 AM
02/13/14 08:39 AM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,044
etowah co.
shootnmiss Offline
8 point
shootnmiss  Offline
8 point
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,044
etowah co.
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Originally Posted By: shootnmiss
Me my wife n three kids at acadamy on night. Id been dranking patron, stomach got tore up and I chit myself, BAD. It was running in my boots.
Had to ride home nekkid in back of truck in December.


WTF?? are u for real? smile

Yep, Im for real!!! Kids still laugh at me.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: bamaeyedoc] #861827
02/13/14 02:00 PM
02/13/14 02:00 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee

Originally Posted By: bamaeyedoc
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.
rofl rofl
I am crying here!! "Trying to burn the bearings out of it!" Really???!! Best term for it I've heard in years!

Dr. B


Yea Doc, they don't teach them phrases at collage. laugh


"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #861953
02/13/14 03:31 PM
02/13/14 03:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 552
Ohio
Y
yoteslayer0927 Offline
4 point
yoteslayer0927  Offline
4 point
Y
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 552
Ohio
I grew up on a dairy and we had a phone in the milk parlor. The phone also rang into my grandparents house that was right next to the barn. They would just call over on an intercom if the call was for me or my dad.

I was in my freshman year of college and we had a cow that got my dad down on the lot and worked him over pretty good so I had withdrawn from classes for the quarter to help gramps get the crops in so my dad could recover a little faster. I was dating a girl from school and hadn't seen her in a few weeks as we had pretty much been in the fields 24-7 for a few weeks.

One night she calls and my grandmother answers the phone and calls me on the intercom. Grandma can't hang up the phone until I answer it. Grandma is listening on the line for me to answer. I answer and before she can hang it up my girlfriend friend blurts out that she wants me to come up and see her because she is really horny.

My dad had stopped by to bring me a snack and check on how things were going..I told him and he thought it was the funniest thing ever.....BTW.....I drove up to see her for a few hours.........

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: yoteslayer0927] #861976
02/13/14 03:38 PM
02/13/14 03:38 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee

Originally Posted By: yoteslayer0927
I grew up on a dairy and we had a phone in the milk parlor. The phone also rang into my grandparents house that was right next to the barn. They would just call over on an intercom if the call was for me or my dad.

I was in my freshman year of college and we had a cow that got my dad down on the lot and worked him over pretty good so I had withdrawn from classes for the quarter to help gramps get the crops in so my dad could recover a little faster. I was dating a girl from school and hadn't seen her in a few weeks as we had pretty much been in the fields 24-7 for a few weeks.

One night she calls and my grandmother answers the phone and calls me on the intercom. Grandma can't hang up the phone until I answer it. Grandma is listening on the line for me to answer. I answer and before she can hang it up my girlfriend friend blurts out that she wants me to come up and see her because she is really horny.

My dad had stopped by to bring me a snack and check on how things were going..I told him and he thought it was the funniest thing ever.....BTW.....I drove up to see her for a few hours.........


I hear ya big man, My dairy aint nothing like them up north, my cows average 900 lbs and will push on a good day 40 lbs a day. BUT I dont feed but about 20+ pounds of dry matter a day.


"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #862002
02/13/14 03:48 PM
02/13/14 03:48 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 552
Ohio
Y
yoteslayer0927 Offline
4 point
yoteslayer0927  Offline
4 point
Y
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 552
Ohio
[/quote] I hear ya big man, My dairy aint nothing like them up north, my cows average 900 lbs and will push on a good day 40 lbs a day. BUT I dont feed but about 20+ pounds of dry matter a day. [/quote]

Nothing wrong with that......we fed a LOT more.......averaged about 70 lbs of milk per cow per day when dad retired........it seemed like we baled hay, chopped haylage, or chopped corn silage every day that it was fit from the first of May till November.....now I have some customers that milk 400 cows using robots.....pretty neat.....

Last edited by yoteslayer0927; 02/13/14 03:49 PM.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: yoteslayer0927] #862056
02/13/14 04:13 PM
02/13/14 04:13 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
O
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67 Offline
10 point
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67  Offline
10 point
O
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
Even now 2 years after the fact this one is almost too embarrassing to tell.I never before or since this incedent sent my wife flirty text but one evening I did and it backfired on me.I was still at work and about thirty minutes before I got off work I decided to stoke the fire with my wife before I got home so I sent her a text.Little beknownst to me her and my daughter were cooking supper.My wife had chicken batter all over her hands so unsuspecting of anything when my text came in she tells my daughter "thats your daddy texting open it and see what he said" my daughter -age 13- then starts cracking up and by this time is in the fetal postion cracking up laughing on the floor.My wife says what is it what did he say.She looks up at my wife and says"he said when he gets home he is gonna eat your p@#$y like a starved ethiopian".My wife nearly had a heart attack then texted me this-your daughter just read that text.Guys I was so embarrassed that I spent the night at a friends house that night because I couldnt figure out how to handle walking in the house.When I got home to add insult to injury.I walked in and my daughter was sitting on the couch watching t.v and looks up at me and smirks and says "you still hungry?"I went to my room.lol


Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67] #862065
02/13/14 04:17 PM
02/13/14 04:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
daniel white Offline
Booner
daniel white  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 10,979
wedowee
Originally Posted By: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67
Even now 2 years after the fact this one is almost too embarrassing to tell.I never before or since this incedent sent my wife flirty text but one evening I did and it backfired on me.I was still at work and about thirty minutes before I got off work I decided to stoke the fire with my wife before I got home so I sent her a text.Little beknownst to me her and my daughter were cooking supper.My wife had chicken batter all over her hands so unsuspecting of anything when my text came in she tells my daughter "thats your daddy texting open it and see what he said" my daughter -age 13- then starts cracking up and by this time is in the fetal postion cracking up laughing on the floor.My wife says what is it what did he say.She looks up at my wife and says"he said when he gets home he is gonna eat your p@#$y like a starved ethiopian".My wife nearly had a heart attack then texted me this-your daughter just read that text.Guys I was so embarrassed that I spent the night at a friends house that night because I couldnt figure out how to handle walking in the house.When I got home to add insult to injury.I walked in and my daughter was sitting on the couch watching t.v and looks up at me and smirks and says "you still hungry?"I went to my room.lol


slap rofl


"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush popper" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #862078
02/13/14 04:20 PM
02/13/14 04:20 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
O
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67 Offline
10 point
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67  Offline
10 point
O
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
True story!You can't make crap like that up.


Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67] #862089
02/13/14 04:23 PM
02/13/14 04:23 PM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 725
Owassa, AL
R
RSF Offline
4 point
RSF  Offline
4 point
R
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 725
Owassa, AL
Originally Posted By: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67
True story!You can't make crap like that up.


LMAO... That is the best I have heard!


WAR EAGLE !!!
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862104
02/13/14 04:30 PM
02/13/14 04:30 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 552
Ohio
Y
yoteslayer0927 Offline
4 point
yoteslayer0927  Offline
4 point
Y
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 552
Ohio
I am on the floor crying October......

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: yoteslayer0927] #862108
02/13/14 04:33 PM
02/13/14 04:33 PM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
TChunter Offline
Booner
TChunter  Offline
Booner
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,401
Mobile Alabama
Winner /thread.


On the Eighth day God created flounder.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: yoteslayer0927] #862114
02/13/14 04:35 PM
02/13/14 04:35 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
O
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67 Offline
10 point
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67  Offline
10 point
O
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
I kinda hated to even bring that up but just had to share it because it was and still is my worst moment in the history of my 47 years on this big round ball.I have never told anyone about it until tonight.Glad yall could share in my calamity blush


Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862116
02/13/14 04:36 PM
02/13/14 04:36 PM
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,209
Auburn
Ike McCaslin Offline
8 point
Ike McCaslin  Offline
8 point
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,209
Auburn
You still hungry? ...is witty as hell. I don't believe I'd have thought to rattle that off at 13.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #862120
02/13/14 04:38 PM
02/13/14 04:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,459
Marshall County
Haybale Offline
bearded hen
Haybale  Offline
bearded hen
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,459
Marshall County
October wins the gold hands down!!! rofl rofl I nearly pissed myself and I have a headache now from lack of oxygen.


"To God Be The Glory"

"I'm in if it involves sticking my hand in a hole". Brent mashburn.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862123
02/13/14 04:39 PM
02/13/14 04:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
End of contest. Octoberdreamin wins. lol Damn, just damn. rofl


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862124
02/13/14 04:39 PM
02/13/14 04:39 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
tfd1224 Offline OP
14 point
tfd1224  Offline OP
14 point
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 8,456
Harpersville, AL
We have a winner.


Yeah c’mon. Daniel White
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862143
02/13/14 04:44 PM
02/13/14 04:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,565
Cape San Blas, Florida
D
Deadwood Offline
Footbsll Bat PSYOPS
Deadwood  Offline
Footbsll Bat PSYOPS
D
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,565
Cape San Blas, Florida
That's hilarious! laugh



Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862177
02/13/14 04:58 PM
02/13/14 04:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Your mom’s house
doekiller Offline
Freak of Nature
doekiller  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Your mom’s house
My wife just reminded me of this.

Okay, one day about 3 years ago I came home at lunch on Friday. We were leaving to go out of town that afternoon. I was in our front bathroom taking a shucks. Sometimes when I am at home, I will take off my shirt and pants before I sit down to do my business.

Well, I am home alone so, I didn't close the door.

Let me back up. We used to pay the high school kid across the street to feed our dogs while we were out of town.

So, I am sitting on the toilet naked. I hear the front door open. I assume it is my wife. No big deal. I am looking out the door as I hear footsteps. About the time they get even with the door, I say hello.

It is the guys girlfriend. She has on he cheerleader outfit and came by to feed the dog for him because he could not come home because of football. She froze when she saw me. Like a deer in the headlights. I freaked out and stood up. I had no clothes on. She was frozen and could not move. I finally jumped behind closet door.

Instead of leaving, she walked down the hall like nothing happened. Of course, I understand all the cheerleaders and football players heard about the guy who,lives across the street from Ross who shits naked.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862183
02/13/14 05:00 PM
02/13/14 05:00 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 9,848
Mobile, AL
A
alhawk Offline
14 point
alhawk  Offline
14 point
A
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 9,848
Mobile, AL
1. October
2 Daniel
3. Fred's friend in the swing
Thanks for the laughs guys.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: doekiller] #862187
02/13/14 05:02 PM
02/13/14 05:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: doekiller
?....Of course, I understand all the cheerleaders and football players heard about the guy who,lives across the street from Ross who shits naked.


....and has something between his legs that looks like a pecker, but only smaller. rofl


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Shaw] #862195
02/13/14 05:04 PM
02/13/14 05:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Your mom’s house
doekiller Offline
Freak of Nature
doekiller  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Your mom’s house
Originally Posted By: Shaw
Originally Posted By: doekiller
?....Of course, I understand all the cheerleaders and football players heard about the guy who,lives across the street from Ross who shits naked.


....and has something between his legs that looks like a pecker, but only smaller. rofl
that too.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: doekiller] #862219
02/13/14 05:09 PM
02/13/14 05:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,565
Cape San Blas, Florida
D
Deadwood Offline
Footbsll Bat PSYOPS
Deadwood  Offline
Footbsll Bat PSYOPS
D
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,565
Cape San Blas, Florida
Originally Posted By: doekiller
My wife just reminded me of this.

Okay, one day about 3 years ago I came home at lunch on Friday. We were leaving to go out of town that afternoon. I was in our front bathroom taking a shucks. Sometimes when I am at home, I will take off my shirt and pants before I sit down to do my business.

Well, I am home alone so, I didn't close the door.

Let me back up. We used to pay the high school kid across the street to feed our dogs while we were out of town.

So, I am sitting on the toilet naked. I hear the front door open. I assume it is my wife. No big deal. I am looking out the door as I hear footsteps. About the time they get even with the door, I say hello.

It is the guys girlfriend. She has on he cheerleader outfit and came by to feed the dog for him because he could not come home because of football. She froze when she saw me. Like a deer in the headlights. I freaked out and stood up. I had no clothes on. She was frozen and could not move. I finally jumped behind closet door.

Instead of leaving, she walked down the hall like nothing happened. Of course, I understand all the cheerleaders and football players heard about the guy who,lives across the street from Ross who shits naked.


Doekiller to cheerleader: "Well howdy, neighbor! I was just going to make a turd! Care to join me for a cup?" laugh



Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67] #862273
02/13/14 05:28 PM
02/13/14 05:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,383
South Al
Brian_C Offline
8 point
Brian_C  Offline
8 point
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,383
South Al
Originally Posted By: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67
Even now 2 years after the fact this one is almost too embarrassing to tell.I never before or since this incedent sent my wife flirty text but one evening I did and it backfired on me.I was still at work and about thirty minutes before I got off work I decided to stoke the fire with my wife before I got home so I sent her a text.Little beknownst to me her and my daughter were cooking supper.My wife had chicken batter all over her hands so unsuspecting of anything when my text came in she tells my daughter "thats your daddy texting open it and see what he said" my daughter -age 13- then starts cracking up and by this time is in the fetal postion cracking up laughing on the floor.My wife says what is it what did he say.She looks up at my wife and says"he said when he gets home he is gonna eat your p@#$y like a starved ethiopian".My wife nearly had a heart attack then texted me this-your daughter just read that text.Guys I was so embarrassed that I spent the night at a friends house that night because I couldnt figure out how to handle walking in the house.When I got home to add insult to injury.I walked in and my daughter was sitting on the couch watching t.v and looks up at me and smirks and says "you still hungry?"I went to my room.lol


rofl my sides are killing me and I have tears running down my face I am laughing so hard. Took me 10 min to be able to tell my wife why I was crying. Finally just had to point to the story and let her read it, now we are both crying, laughing so hard. rofl

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862298
02/13/14 05:44 PM
02/13/14 05:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 9,848
Mobile, AL
A
alhawk Offline
14 point
alhawk  Offline
14 point
A
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 9,848
Mobile, AL
^^same here, but it happened for me, just as the US male figure skater busted his azz on the ice.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: yoteslayer0927] #862343
02/13/14 06:08 PM
02/13/14 06:08 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 14,582
Clanton
Turkey_neck Offline
Booner
Turkey_neck  Offline
Booner
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 14,582
Clanton
Originally Posted By: yoteslayer0927
I am on the floor crying October......

I'm bout to die I hurt so bad from laughing.


Would walk over a naked woman to get to a gobblin turkey!
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862364
02/13/14 06:15 PM
02/13/14 06:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,863
Tuscaloosa
Booger Offline
Picker
Booger  Offline
Picker
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,863
Tuscaloosa
Wow October your slip makes my congratulating Mark Godfrey on his semen not so bad now.


Pick'n and a grin'n
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Booger] #862379
02/13/14 06:25 PM
02/13/14 06:25 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
O
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67 Offline
10 point
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67  Offline
10 point
O
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
Its kinda like skydiving.Once you have done it everything else in life is gonna be a cakewalk


Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862384
02/13/14 06:29 PM
02/13/14 06:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,863
Tuscaloosa
Booger Offline
Picker
Booger  Offline
Picker
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,863
Tuscaloosa
That is very true! I've been cake walking for a long time too.


Pick'n and a grin'n
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862416
02/13/14 06:58 PM
02/13/14 06:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,633
Gardendale
B
BigDalk Offline
10 point
BigDalk  Offline
10 point
B
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,633
Gardendale
I had this real ball buster professor in college. It was a really tough class and we had to submit most of our assignments through the school network. We had an assignment due at 8:00 PM one night and I tried to upload my work at around 6:00PM. The network was down and didn't come back up until the next morning. I called a friend of mine just to confirm that it wasn't just me having trouble. Well the next day at class I talked to her about the issue and she wouldn't budge and wouldn't accept my work nor anyone elses that didn't have it uploaded before the network crashed. I was pissed.

Well the next week she passes out professor evaluations. I let her have it on the evaluation. I gave her a terrible score and wrote that she needed to be more human and less robot. I thought that these were the evaluations that went to the dean for the school.

They weren't. These were her own little survey that she had made up herself. So she puts mine in all of it's glory up on the projection screen in front of the class. Then she read it while staring at me the whole time.


"The aggies are going to destroy bama"
Burbank
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862489
02/13/14 09:10 PM
02/13/14 09:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,459
Marshall County
Haybale Offline
bearded hen
Haybale  Offline
bearded hen
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,459
Marshall County
If she was really like that. I wouldve had the biggest chit eatin grin on my face an laughed the whole time she read it.


"To God Be The Glory"

"I'm in if it involves sticking my hand in a hole". Brent mashburn.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862505
02/14/14 12:11 AM
02/14/14 12:11 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,879
Monroe County, AL
D
deadeye Offline
14 point
deadeye  Offline
14 point
D
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,879
Monroe County, AL
On the way back from Mobile with my sister one day I had to go BAD and pulled off at the Connaco station at the Stockton exit. As I was in the only stall sitting on the toilet, I hear fast short footsteps and the door burst open and this nice looking young lady starts urgently beating on my stall door and looking thru the crack begging me to let her in that she has to go REALLY bad. I believe she would have sat in my lap and went! I said let me get my pants and flush and I would be right out. Well that was not fast enough for her and she ran out leaving a trail of brown spots on the floor into the womens bathroom where my sister was using the only stall and she ended up going in the garbage can. She left a trail the whole way. When I came out the door there were two teenage girls who were with her standing there with eyes big as saucers. My sister knew her and went out to her car to get her some clean clothes.


A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams

He alone is educated who has learned the lessons of open-mindedness

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862636
02/14/14 04:08 AM
02/14/14 04:08 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Driveby Offline
Doing the best I can.
Driveby  Offline
Doing the best I can.
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
I've been seen in public with Mangler.


The true mark of a man is not how he conducts himself during times of prosperity, but how he conducts himself during times of adversity.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862648
02/14/14 04:19 AM
02/14/14 04:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
I've been seen in public with Mangler, Bronco, Skinny, Riverrat, DriveBy and Delmer. eek


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Shaw] #862652
02/14/14 04:21 AM
02/14/14 04:21 AM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,220
Chelsea, AL
J
josht101 Offline
8 point
josht101  Offline
8 point
J
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,220
Chelsea, AL
Originally Posted By: Shaw
I've been seen in public with Mangler, Bronco, Skinny, Riverrat, DriveBy and Delmer. eek


We have a new winner grin

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Driveby] #862653
02/14/14 04:22 AM
02/14/14 04:22 AM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 23,148
All Over
Dustin Offline
Freak of Nature
Dustin  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 23,148
All Over
Originally Posted By: Driveby
I've been seen in public with Mangler.


I was once seen in public with Delmer, Driveby and Mangler. If Riverrat and Brent hadn't been there also I never would have mentioned it.


Don't let life get in the way of living
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862657
02/14/14 04:24 AM
02/14/14 04:24 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Driveby Offline
Doing the best I can.
Driveby  Offline
Doing the best I can.
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Oh and I can't forget......3Toe, Doekiller, and myself have seen Rebelpiper's hairy butt.


The true mark of a man is not how he conducts himself during times of prosperity, but how he conducts himself during times of adversity.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Driveby] #862665
02/14/14 04:28 AM
02/14/14 04:28 AM
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,220
Chelsea, AL
J
josht101 Offline
8 point
josht101  Offline
8 point
J
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 2,220
Chelsea, AL
Originally Posted By: Driveby
Oh and I can't forget......3Toe, Doekiller, and myself have seen Rebelpiper's hairy butt.


That's not embarrassing, that's disturbing. sick

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: josht101] #862668
02/14/14 04:30 AM
02/14/14 04:30 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Your mom’s house
doekiller Offline
Freak of Nature
doekiller  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 33,437
Your mom’s house
Originally Posted By: josht101
Originally Posted By: Driveby
Oh and I can't forget......3Toe, Doekiller, and myself have seen Rebelpiper's hairy butt.


That's not embarrassing, that's disturbing. sick


No, that is hairy

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862673
02/14/14 04:37 AM
02/14/14 04:37 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Driveby Offline
Doing the best I can.
Driveby  Offline
Doing the best I can.
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Me, Shaw, and Delmer were in Metropolis, IL shooting an ASA archery tournament. After shooting all day we went to eat at a steak house across the river in Paducah, KY. I was worn out and dog tired. While waiting for a table I decided to go to the restroom. Being as tired as I was I didn’t pay attention to the signs. You guessed it. I did my business and as I was washing my hands a young lady walks in, smiles at me, and proceeds to wash her hands beside me. I just looked at her and said, “Oh sh**”. She started laughing and I walked out. To make matters worse, when we got a table, she was our waitress. The only thing that made it better was what she said to Shaw. The booths had high seats and she walks by, looks at Shaw, and says, “My feet swing like that when I sit in those too”. grin


The true mark of a man is not how he conducts himself during times of prosperity, but how he conducts himself during times of adversity.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862674
02/14/14 04:41 AM
02/14/14 04:41 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
We were at another Pro/Am up near Roanoke, VA and DriveBy tried to pet a queer waiter's monkey in Outback. grin


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862680
02/14/14 04:45 AM
02/14/14 04:45 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Driveby Offline
Doing the best I can.
Driveby  Offline
Doing the best I can.
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
LOL!!!!! That sucker was flaming wasn't he? There was a waiter making balloon animals in an Outback Steakhouse and that sucker was as queer as a 3 dollar bill. He made one for a kid at the booth next to us and said, "So little boy, do you have a name for your monkey?" Delmer and I started laughing so hard we cried and Shaw blew Bloomin' Onion sauce out his nose. He says that stuff really burns when you do that too. If looks could have killed, that queer little waiter would have disintegrated us. grin


The true mark of a man is not how he conducts himself during times of prosperity, but how he conducts himself during times of adversity.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862682
02/14/14 04:47 AM
02/14/14 04:47 AM
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4,573
Petal,MS,USA
SFC3 Offline
10 point
SFC3  Offline
10 point
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4,573
Petal,MS,USA
...Ive had so many incidents like these in my life...couple no way in hell would I share...I do remember one time I was a dog and pony show All Branch at the MS Gulf Coast Coliseum...Army, Navy, Marines, USAF gig...dress Blues, whole 9 yards...big flag ceremony...and the 'urge' fell on me like a 2000# GBU...our pantson the old blues were like overalls...I was at the double time, headed to the john, jacket coming off...suspenders un-buttoned holding them up with one hand...I pushed open the door of the bathroom...and there were about 10 USAF chicks in various stages of undressing...oops...ladies room... sick
I remember them pointing at me later...I just walked by and winked and said said..."hello ladies...nice to see you again"
Thank God the mens was only like 20 yards away...if had been 21...I wouldnt have made the show...


Grumpy Old MS Bastage
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862695
02/14/14 04:56 AM
02/14/14 04:56 AM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,717
Selma
odocoileus Offline
14 point
odocoileus  Offline
14 point
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,717
Selma
Probably the time I was the most embarrassed, no one knew about it. I hope. I was working at a hardware store one summer and while back in the warehouse I cut one loose. It wasn't a fart as I assumed. I'm standing there wandering what to do, knowing I have a nice brown wet spot. So I tell my boss I had to run home and get something for school to turn in ASAP. I run out to my truck, put the key in the door to unlock it and just as the knob pops up the key breaks, in the lock. I stand there in horror in the front parking lot of this place, hoping no one shows up. I find a pair of hemostats in my tackle box and get the piece of key out. I come up with the idea of piecing the key together in the key machine and cutting a new one. Only problem is the key machine was right in front of the counter. Looking around my backseat, I find a sweatshirt and tie it around my waist, with it hanging over and covering up my accident. I cruise back in the store, sporting a sweatshirt in 100 degree Alabama heat, cut me a key and all is merry.

This next one happened to my ex girfriend. Me and some buddies, and her and some of her friends went down to one of the guy's vacation house on the GA coast. Well about 15 minutes before we get there, she looks at me with a concerned look and says "I have to go to the bathroom, BADLY". So we get there and she high tails it in. Bout 10 minutes later, we're all outside getting the boat ready to put in, and she pulls me aside and says there is a problem. Says the toilet won't flush. "I went in there and flushed it to make sure it would work and now it won't, oh my God you have to do something!". Immediately I know the culprit, and walk upstairs and turn the water on and tell her when you quit hearing water running, try her again. The fact that she gave the toilet the ole confidence flush and got punked makes me laugh to this day.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862725
02/14/14 05:23 AM
02/14/14 05:23 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,703
Winfield
R
rst87 Online content
8 point
rst87  Online Content
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R
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Posts: 1,703
Winfield
I read this while in a Dr office. People probably think I am crazy. I was jerking and shaking from laughing so hard. And had tears coming out..


"Life is hard; It's harder if you're stupid" John Wayne
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #862933
02/14/14 07:39 AM
02/14/14 07:39 AM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,242
Central, AL
280Rem. Offline
12 point
280Rem.  Offline
12 point
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,242
Central, AL
These are great.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #863039
02/14/14 09:01 AM
02/14/14 09:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,557
St. Clair County
F
Farmer Brown Offline
8 point
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Posts: 1,557
St. Clair County
I did not do this. I repeat, It was not me. A guy gets out on a pier on Logan Martin Lake while fishing a bass tourney at night. He does a number two on the guys pier and drops his billfold onto the pier and doesn't know it. This story didn't end well.

Last edited by Farmer Brown; 02/14/14 09:01 AM.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #863077
02/14/14 09:30 AM
02/14/14 09:30 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
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Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
So that's how you got the handle Farmer Brown.


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Driveby] #863093
02/14/14 09:44 AM
02/14/14 09:44 AM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
C
Clem Offline
Mildly Quirky
Clem  Offline
Mildly Quirky
C
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
Quote:
The booths had high seats and she walks by, looks at Shaw, and says, “My feet swing like that when I sit in those too”.


I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this.


"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter

"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013

"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #863103
02/14/14 09:49 AM
02/14/14 09:49 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
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Shaw  Offline
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Fosters, Alabama, USA
The part DriveBy is conveniently leaving out is they put her up to saying that. rolleyes


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #863118
02/14/14 10:06 AM
02/14/14 10:06 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
Driveby Offline
Doing the best I can.
Driveby  Offline
Doing the best I can.
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 11,246
Walker county
No sir!!!!! She done that on her own and Delmer can vouch for it. The part we DID put her up to though was bringing the booster seat and kiddy menu. grin


The true mark of a man is not how he conducts himself during times of prosperity, but how he conducts himself during times of adversity.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #863120
02/14/14 10:07 AM
02/14/14 10:07 AM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,864
alex city
oakachoy Offline
12 point
oakachoy  Offline
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Posts: 5,864
alex city
Funny stuff, I have been recently moving Mama. She has a Toyota Rav4 and the battery was dead. The clicker would not open the door where I could jump it off. Anyway, I go to Mom and ask for the key to open the door to gain access to the battery and she does not have a key (pretty new Yota) So, I chalk it up to the move and stuff still not settled. Took her bar code and clicker to the Yota place in Auburn and tell them the story, this young lady says let me see the clicker, so I start telling her it's not the batteries in the clicker it's the vehicle! she smiles pushes a little button on the side of the clicker and pulls the key out slap What can I say...


WM Hunter "Trump literally sacrificed himself, his family and all of his businesses for this country.
He literally is a true American hero. And True American Patriot - warts and all."
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #863224
02/14/14 11:45 AM
02/14/14 11:45 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,113
Dothan
L
LIOJeff Offline
8 point
LIOJeff  Offline
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L
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,113
Dothan
I hate to admit this..
My wife and I will exchange naughty text and naughty pics a lot, you know to get it warmed up. Well one day she had sent me some really good stuff and being the great husband I am I got on the internet and found her a pic of one of those big muscular hunks displaying his "member" proudly. I thought yeah this will get her fired up and might be more than I can handle.
About the time I hit "send" I realize that I had text the naked guy pic to some man I didn't know that I had texted a couple days earlier about something for sale. He responded with "who is this?" All I could say was "sorry that was for my wife". When the wife got home and I told her what happened I thought she was going to pass out from laughing. So much for getting her worked up.
I now triple check and make sure it's her name I send naughty pics too.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1097255
10/02/14 04:17 AM
10/02/14 04:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,236
Foley, AL
Vulkanman Offline
8 point
Vulkanman  Offline
8 point
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Posts: 2,236
Foley, AL
This didn't happen to me, but it's hilarious. Ed C. was raised on a dairy farm & as a young teen he made an amazing discovery about certain curiosities of newly weaned calves while taking a leak one day.
He was in a barn enjoying his new friend's talents when his dad came in & caught him, he froze, the calf wouldn't stop & his dad went literally to his knees in laughter.
He had to think of something so Ed yells at him "you just go ahead & laugh while this thing eats me up!"
He spent about half an hour trying to convince his dad that he was innocent & that he'd been attacked by the calf, then the rest of the day begging him not to tell his mother.


Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1097309
10/02/14 05:10 AM
10/02/14 05:10 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,708
CENTRAL ALABAMA
K
KHOOKS Offline
8 point
KHOOKS  Offline
8 point
K
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,708
CENTRAL ALABAMA
I had a red-tailed boa that got a mouth full of aspen chips when he struck at a mouse. It clogged him up and we had to put him down after a few years of not eating. Anyhow, I call a exotic pet place (vet). I was setting in the engineers office for the company I worked for and my opening words to the lady on the other end of the line went like this. Yes, I have a erotic pet (not exotic pet) that has got a mouth full of aspen chips. It is a red-tailed boa. At first I didn't catch what I had said but the engineer did and he fell out laughing so had that I ended up hang up on the lady at the place and never called them back.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: KHOOKS] #1097773
10/02/14 12:11 PM
10/02/14 12:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
O
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67 Offline
10 point
OcToBeRDrEaMiN67  Offline
10 point
O
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
I am the guy that sent the dirty text to my wife that my daughter read.Enough said crazy


Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1097876
10/02/14 02:08 PM
10/02/14 02:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,196
Castleberry
big_buck_down79 Offline
8 point
big_buck_down79  Offline
8 point
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,196
Castleberry
When I was around 15 or 16, I got one of those summer colds that sticks with you for a while and keeps you congested as hell...one night I woke up around 2:30 or so and could not breathe...I headed to the kitchen to get some medicine to take...in our old house, when you left my room there was a hallway that went to the dining room...the kitchen was to the right, and the living room was to the left...you had a full view of the living room when you got to the end of the hall (this is important)...when I got to the end of the hallway, there on the couch was mama, and daddy was trying to tear the bearings out of it...I made a quick right turn to the kitchen and started making all kind of noise just so they would know I was there...as I was looking through the medicine cabinet, here comes daddy into the kitchen asking me if I needed any help finding anything...the only words I could get out of my mouth were "don't touch me right now"...I couldn't look either one of them in the eye for a few days after that.


I once flirted with danger...but then danger got clingy.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Vulkanman] #1097880
10/02/14 02:12 PM
10/02/14 02:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield
Beadlescomb Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Beadlescomb  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 15,952
Brierfield

Originally Posted By: Vulkanman
This didn't happen to me, but it's hilarious. Ed C. was raised on a dairy farm & as a young teen he made an amazing discovery about certain curiosities of newly weaned calves while taking a leak one day.
He was in a barn enjoying his new friend's talents when his dad came in & caught him, he froze, the calf wouldn't stop & his dad went literally to his knees in laughter.
He had to think of something so Ed yells at him "you just go ahead & laugh while this thing eats me up!"
He spent about half an hour trying to convince his dad that he was innocent & that he'd been attacked by the calf, then the rest of the day begging him not to tell his mother.


Damn don't believe I would have told that


We will burn that bridge when we get there
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67] #1097884
10/02/14 02:14 PM
10/02/14 02:14 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,967
Al
M
metalmessiah Offline
12 point
metalmessiah  Offline
12 point
M
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,967
Al
Originally Posted By: OcToBeRDrEaMiN67
I am the guy that sent the dirty text to my wife that my daughter read.Enough said crazy


I bet you Ron White would pay you a king's ransom for that story. I dont know how I missed it the first time around but I read it today & laughed myself to tears. high five your daughter for me laugh


Go with the flow and you will end up down the drain!
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: daniel white] #1097893
10/02/14 02:21 PM
10/02/14 02:21 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,864
alex city
oakachoy Offline
12 point
oakachoy  Offline
12 point
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,864
alex city
Originally Posted By: daniel white
Aww, man I got some good ones sure is a lot of typing though.

Excuse the grammer

When I was 18, I went on a beach vacation for the first time ever with my girlfriend "now wife" family. They had a Condo down there that they went to ever year, It was called the Shores, now it the Escapes. Anyway, it only had two bedrooms, one with 2 full beds and one master room, they was both up stairs. So I told my in-laws that I would sleep on the couch down stairs, BUT nooooo they insisted that I sleep upstairs they trusted me and there daughter, that we could just wear pajamas and sleep in separate beds. HE HE HE, well it didn't exactly go down like that. About the third or fourth morning there, Southwire calls me for a job interview, well my phone is down stairs and I am up stairs, trying to burn the bearings out of it. So my MIL being the nice lady she is, does the ole no knock method. Well she saw a sight she didn't want to see, she drops my phone and takes off hollering and running. So hell I couldn't waste what energy I done used, so I finished what I was doing, got on the phone got a interview set up and went down to face some PISSED OFF parents. Ahh the good ole days.


Same deal at my parents house, Parents were gone and came home early when my dad opened the door I jumped up and slammed it, I thought he was trying to push his way in! I looked up and had his head caught in the door. He was not a happy camper crazy


WM Hunter "Trump literally sacrificed himself, his family and all of his businesses for this country.
He literally is a true American hero. And True American Patriot - warts and all."
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: big_buck_down79] #1098002
10/02/14 03:28 PM
10/02/14 03:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Shaw Offline
Administrator
Shaw  Offline
Administrator
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 28,955
Fosters, Alabama, USA
Originally Posted By: big_buck_down79
When I was around 15 or 16, I got one of those summer colds that sticks with you for a while and keeps you congested as hell...one night I woke up around 2:30 or so and could not breathe...I headed to the kitchen to get some medicine to take...in our old house, when you left my room there was a hallway that went to the dining room...the kitchen was to the right, and the living room was to the left...you had a full view of the living room when you got to the end of the hall (this is important)...when I got to the end of the hallway, there on the couch was mama, and daddy was trying to tear the bearings out of it...I made a quick right turn to the kitchen and started making all kind of noise just so they would know I was there...as I was looking through the medicine cabinet, here comes daddy into the kitchen asking me if I needed any help finding anything...the only words I could get out of my mouth were "don't touch me right now"...I couldn't look either one of them in the eye for a few days after that.


At least he wasn't imitating a starving Ethiopian. rofl


"I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it." Captain Woodrow F. Call

ShawBuilt Custom Bowstrings
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Shaw] #1098014
10/02/14 03:34 PM
10/02/14 03:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,196
Castleberry
big_buck_down79 Offline
8 point
big_buck_down79  Offline
8 point
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,196
Castleberry

Originally Posted By: Shaw
Originally Posted By: big_buck_down79
When I was around 15 or 16, I got one of those summer colds that sticks with you for a while and keeps you congested as hell...one night I woke up around 2:30 or so and could not breathe...I headed to the kitchen to get some medicine to take...in our old house, when you left my room there was a hallway that went to the dining room...the kitchen was to the right, and the living room was to the left...you had a full view of the living room when you got to the end of the hall (this is important)...when I got to the end of the hallway, there on the couch was mama, and daddy was trying to tear the bearings out of it...I made a quick right turn to the kitchen and started making all kind of noise just so they would know I was there...as I was looking through the medicine cabinet, here comes daddy into the kitchen asking me if I needed any help finding anything...the only words I could get out of my mouth were "don't touch me right now"...I couldn't look either one of them in the eye for a few days after that.


At least he wasn't imitating a starving Ethiopian. rofl


Things could have always been worse I guess laugh


I once flirted with danger...but then danger got clingy.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Driveby] #1098018
10/02/14 03:37 PM
10/02/14 03:37 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,753
haleyville al,
D
dnolen Offline
10 point
dnolen  Offline
10 point
D
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,753
haleyville al,
Originally Posted By: Driveby
No sir!!!!! She done that on her own and Delmer can vouch for it. The part we DID put her up to though was bringing the booster seat and kiddy menu. grin
lol this is true . I was their ford that one

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1098692
10/03/14 05:47 AM
10/03/14 05:47 AM
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,095
Anniston, AL
ikillbux Offline
ishootatbux
ikillbux  Offline
ishootatbux
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,095
Anniston, AL
Back when everybody was carrying Nextels and talking with two-way all the time, I would routinely let my wife get in line somewhere and loudly say into the phone "Did you fart??" I can't believe most people don't keep their phones on vibrate only. The ONLY time mine is off vibrate is during the night (in case we get an emergency call).


We were on the edge of Eternia, when the power of Greyskull began to take hold.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Shaw] #1098915
10/03/14 08:54 AM
10/03/14 08:54 AM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 12,481
Pike County, AL
Fuzzy_Bunny Offline
Booner
Fuzzy_Bunny  Offline
Booner
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 12,481
Pike County, AL
Originally Posted By: Shaw
Originally Posted By: big_buck_down79
When I was around 15 or 16, I got one of those summer colds that sticks with you for a while and keeps you congested as hell...one night I woke up around 2:30 or so and could not breathe...I headed to the kitchen to get some medicine to take...in our old house, when you left my room there was a hallway that went to the dining room...the kitchen was to the right, and the living room was to the left...you had a full view of the living room when you got to the end of the hall (this is important)...when I got to the end of the hallway, there on the couch was mama, and daddy was trying to tear the bearings out of it...I made a quick right turn to the kitchen and started making all kind of noise just so they would know I was there...as I was looking through the medicine cabinet, here comes daddy into the kitchen asking me if I needed any help finding anything...the only words I could get out of my mouth were "don't touch me right now"...I couldn't look either one of them in the eye for a few days after that.


At least he wasn't imitating a starving Ethiopian. rofl


Or even worse: She could have been going at it like a starving ethiopian.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1098954
10/03/14 09:40 AM
10/03/14 09:40 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 18,759
.
F
ford150man Offline
Old Mossy Horns
ford150man  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
F
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 18,759
.
Back about 20 years ago me and these two ole boys I worked with all lived within 1/4 mile of each other and we were all about 21-23 years old. One of the boys, Dale, was new and me and Byron didn't know him real well. Just what we'd learned from work. Anyway, my brother lived next door to me and told me one evening that this young girl, 14 years old, that lived up the street had gotten pregnant and ran off and got married to some guy about 23 years old. At work the next day, I asked Byron and Dale if they had heard about it. Told them I couldn't remember the girl's name but said she was the cute young girl, shoulder length brown hair, etc... After describing her and going on to say that a girl that young had no business spreading her legs, and whoever was fooling with her needed shot, etc... Dale, the new guy, speaks up and informed me that was his wife. He was dead serious. Turned out he was the 23 year old she was fooling around with. Byron nearly threw up from laughing so hard while I just looked at Dale and said, "well".


If voting made any difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.-Mark Twain
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1099325
10/03/14 05:01 PM
10/03/14 05:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4,475
limestone al
scrape Offline
10 point
scrape  Offline
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Posts: 4,475
limestone al
it was early fall right before my 40th birthday, when my boss at the office put me in charge of the Williams merger. The Williams were steeped in tradition and ivy leauge edidcate. If I was going to close this deal it would mean relearning how to fine dine with the uppper elite. I did everything possible, I learned proper mannerisms at 5 star resturants. instead of coon hunting I studied the traditions of fox hunting on horses. Finally success was near and the Williams verbal agreed to the merger. For my 40th birthday the entire office celebrated my achiement by taking me to one of those fancy chinese buffets. I wanted to sample all of the asian seafood treasures of the orient. all of the office girls and guys were there to congratulate me. after work I was heading home to have a small party with my family when my boss called and said I needed to drop by the office to sighn the Williams contract on his desk. while heading to the office I could feel all those asian sea creatures pawing at my stomach, I knew I didn't have much time. arriving at the office I could barely get out of the car without letting my inards loose. my bosses desk was in the middle of the dark office, if I could just make it to the light switch at the back I could find the bathroom. the pain was unbearable and I knew my only hope was the garbage can in front of his desk since it was dark and I was the only one there. Immediatly upon stumbling into the can I dropped my pants down to my knees when the first explosion came as I was bending down to the can. It was instant pleasure with a nasty sweet aroma. as the cannon fired a second burst the lights came on and I heard 30 people yell "SURPRIZE". I saw the entire office staff behind the desk including my family and the WIlliams. As I straddled the small can with my junk sticking up in the air three more blast sounded. I looked in horror at the contract sitting on the desk and brown stained cake. I knew then that I did not hit the can on that first eruption. my emotions also erupted, I had feelings of shame and relief at the same time, what a way to seal the deal and go over the hill at the same time.

names and situations have been altered for secrecy and drama.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1099348
10/03/14 05:26 PM
10/03/14 05:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,847
Cullman, AL
R
Ryano Offline
10 point
Ryano  Offline
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R
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,847
Cullman, AL
I bet the Williams were a wee bit surprised. I laughed so hard my side hurts and my eyes are wet.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1099473
10/04/14 02:57 AM
10/04/14 02:57 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,074
Glendale, FL
W
WhiteCityHunter Offline
6 point
WhiteCityHunter  Offline
6 point
W
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,074
Glendale, FL
This happened to a friend of mine. He had just started dating a girl and she asked him to go to church with her and her parents. So he goes to church with them. Her dad was a hardass and didn't put up with much and even less when it came to his daughter. So the dad insists that my buddy sit between him and his wife, with the girlfriend 9n the end. This is an old country church in Statesboro, GA and all the windows and doors are open because there's no AC. Anyway as church began that day my buddy noticed a dog had slipped up on the porch and was laying down scratching the back of his head with his back paw. My buddy leans over to the mom and says, 'don't you wish you could do that'? He gestures over to the dog,and when she turns to look the dog is going to town licking his junk, lmao. He said her face and his turned bright red!

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Beadlescomb] #1099556
10/04/14 05:02 AM
10/04/14 05:02 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,236
Foley, AL
Vulkanman Offline
8 point
Vulkanman  Offline
8 point
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,236
Foley, AL
Originally Posted By: Beadlescomb

Originally Posted By: Vulkanman
This didn't happen to me, but it's hilarious. Ed C. was raised on a dairy farm & as a young teen he made an amazing discovery about certain curiosities of newly weaned calves while taking a leak one day.
He was in a barn enjoying his new friend's talents when his dad came in & caught him, he froze, the calf wouldn't stop & his dad went literally to his knees in laughter.
He had to think of something so Ed yells at him "you just go ahead & laugh while this thing eats me up!"
He spent about half an hour trying to convince his dad that he was innocent & that he'd been attacked by the calf, then the rest of the day begging him not to tell his mother.


Damn don't believe I would have told that






His dad told me, we were pretty good friends.

Or maybe he just told everybody, he thought it was hysterical.


Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: scrape] #1099649
10/04/14 07:06 AM
10/04/14 07:06 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster
Bowhunter84 Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Bowhunter84  Offline
Old Mossy Horns
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,156
Alabaster

Originally Posted By: scrape
it was early fall right before my 40th birthday, when my boss at the office put me in charge of the Williams merger. The Williams were steeped in tradition and ivy leauge edidcate. If I was going to close this deal it would mean relearning how to fine dine with the uppper elite. I did everything possible, I learned proper mannerisms at 5 star resturants. instead of coon hunting I studied the traditions of fox hunting on horses. Finally success was near and the Williams verbal agreed to the merger. For my 40th birthday the entire office celebrated my achiement by taking me to one of those fancy chinese buffets. I wanted to sample all of the asian seafood treasures of the orient. all of the office girls and guys were there to congratulate me. after work I was heading home to have a small party with my family when my boss called and said I needed to drop by the office to sighn the Williams contract on his desk. while heading to the office I could feel all those asian sea creatures pawing at my stomach, I knew I didn't have much time. arriving at the office I could barely get out of the car without letting my inards loose. my bosses desk was in the middle of the dark office, if I could just make it to the light switch at the back I could find the bathroom. the pain was unbearable and I knew my only hope was the garbage can in front of his desk since it was dark and I was the only one there. Immediatly upon stumbling into the can I dropped my pants down to my knees when the first explosion came as I was bending down to the can. It was instant pleasure with a nasty sweet aroma. as the cannon fired a second burst the lights came on and I heard 30 people yell "SURPRIZE". I saw the entire office staff behind the desk including my family and the WIlliams. As I straddled the small can with my junk sticking up in the air three more blast sounded. I looked in horror at the contract sitting on the desk and brown stained cake. I knew then that I did not hit the can on that first eruption. my emotions also erupted, I had feelings of shame and relief at the same time, what a way to seal the deal and go over the hill at the same time.

names and situations have been altered for secrecy and drama.


rofl


"Just remember a gobbler has to win every time, you only have to win once"
BC
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1100375
10/04/14 02:57 PM
10/04/14 02:57 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 202
Cedar Bluff Alabama
sbr2x70 Offline
4 point
sbr2x70  Offline
4 point
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 202
Cedar Bluff Alabama
Scrape I'm dying hahahahaha

Last edited by sbr2x70; 10/04/14 02:57 PM.

"God made all men...Samuel Colt made em equal"
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435480
08/31/15 03:04 PM
08/31/15 03:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,375
Albertville
R
rblaker Offline
8 point
rblaker  Offline
8 point
R
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,375
Albertville
Bump for everybody from the be careful texting threat

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435511
08/31/15 03:34 PM
08/31/15 03:34 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,391
Dothan, AL
H
huntbig Offline
8 point
huntbig  Offline
8 point
H
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,391
Dothan, AL
Dang these are funny


It's a sanctuary.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435526
08/31/15 03:46 PM
08/31/15 03:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,634
Wetumpka, AL
ColeT Offline
10 point
ColeT  Offline
10 point
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 2,634
Wetumpka, AL
The starving Ethiopian...

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435528
08/31/15 03:48 PM
08/31/15 03:48 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,793
alabama
J
judge sharpe Offline
8 point
judge sharpe  Offline
8 point
J
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,793
alabama
I am glad someone found that. I needed.d a good laugh today.


Let us cross over the river and rest in the shade of the trees
Stonewall Jackson
Hug your loved ones often, Life is short even on its longest days.
I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I just finish it and order another.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435529
08/31/15 03:48 PM
08/31/15 03:48 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,793
alabama
J
judge sharpe Offline
8 point
judge sharpe  Offline
8 point
J
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,793
alabama
I am glad someone found that. I needed.d a good laugh today.


Let us cross over the river and rest in the shade of the trees
Stonewall Jackson
Hug your loved ones often, Life is short even on its longest days.
I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I just finish it and order another.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435557
08/31/15 04:09 PM
08/31/15 04:09 PM
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 287
County line
J
J_C Offline
4 point
J_C  Offline
4 point
J
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 287
County line
Dammit.

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435586
08/31/15 04:39 PM
08/31/15 04:39 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 125
Down south
L
Lung_buster Offline
3 point
Lung_buster  Offline
3 point
L
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 125
Down south
I just started a new job and was doing some training in a small lab about 12'x15'. I been drinking the night before and had some nasty beer farts going on. There was an old woman, the guy training me and me in the lab. My gut started hurtin while I was in there and I decide to take a chance on trying to ease a fart out. Oh I succeeded and no one heard a thing but the smell was horrendous. 3 of us in there and no one said a word the whole time. Finally me and my trainer walk out and I was like did you smell what that old lady did in there?

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435685
08/31/15 08:05 PM
08/31/15 08:05 PM
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 4,754
AL
Gobble4me757 Offline
10 point
Gobble4me757  Offline
10 point
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 4,754
AL
Haha these are halarious...Alite I have one that aint as good as the staving Etheopian or Daniel Whites but here it is:

My ex was with me on the charter bus goin down to formal in New Orleans my senor year at Bama. Everyones drinkin and having a good time, and then she tells me she has to go to the bathroom. Well due to her nature of being a girl, she didn't want to actually sit down on the toilet seat in the bus. The light is not working in the restroom so she uses her phone as a light. Mid-buisness, we hit a bump and her phone falls between her legs and into the small hole....Thanks to the life-proof, she could hear it ring when I called it for her but couldn't do anything about it ha...Womens


2017 Team Aldeer Turkey Contest Champion
2018 Team Aldeer Turkey Contest Champion
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1435698
09/01/15 12:58 AM
09/01/15 12:58 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,911
Pine Hill, Al
T
Todd1700 Offline
12 point
Todd1700  Offline
12 point
T
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,911
Pine Hill, Al
Can't top some of those but an embarrassing situation I always remember is this:

When I was a young man there was a girl in our town who was....."popular" to put it nicely. We will call her Jane Doe to keep this anonymous. Many of the local boys had "known her" in the biblical sense of the phrase. Eventually she hooked up with some out of town guy and they had become engaged. He apparently being clueless of her history as the town receptacle. So about a week before the wedding this girls brother and a few of his friends take this guy out for a sort of half assed bachelors night out. So about midnight they come driving up to one of the local spots where everyone would park and drink. There's about 20 people there including myself and they get out and start to mingle. Now I knew this guy was engaged to the girl but most of the people there had no idea who he was. After a while this guy strikes up a conversation with one of my buddies. I guess the guy wanted to use my buddies ignorance of who he was to fish for an honest opinion about his bride to be because he asked my buddy what he thought of that Jane Doe girl with a big grin on his face. My buddy drunk and unaware of who the guy was looked him straight in the face and said, "Last I heard she was selling it for about 50 dollars a pop". I nearly choked on a swallow of beer and I will never forget the look on that poor bastards face. I always wondered if the wedding still happened.

Last edited by Todd1700; 09/01/15 12:59 AM.

The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back.
- Abigail van Buren
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1436061
09/01/15 08:24 AM
09/01/15 08:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 3,434
Sumter County
sumpter_al Offline
10 point
sumpter_al  Offline
10 point
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 3,434
Sumter County
Not an embarassing story, but I saw that a couple of yall referred to "wearing the bearings out".

One night years ago a group of us are sitting around the fire pit after a long day of hunting. One of the single guys made a remark about "destroying" his new girlfriend the night before. The father of a very good friend of mine (and the oldest man at the fire), laughed and said "you cannot wear out a self lubricating machine". We all fell out laughing and gave the young guy hell for days.


I love my country, but don't trust my government.
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1436065
09/01/15 08:28 AM
09/01/15 08:28 AM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 52,010
Gee's Bend/At The Hog Pen
James Offline
Freak of Nature
James  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 52,010
Gee's Bend/At The Hog Pen
I've got a good one. But I'm gonna keep it to myself grin


How many people am i willing to sacrifice for freedom?
Everyone. All of them...

Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many!

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1436068
09/01/15 08:34 AM
09/01/15 08:34 AM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder
C
Clem Offline
Mildly Quirky
Clem  Offline
Mildly Quirky
C
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 51,938
Over Yonder

In high school I was working in our store one evening when the local mortician came walking up the aisle. I looked up about the time he got within 15 or so feet and said:

"How are you doing? Been busy lately?"

About the time the "lately" rolled off my tongue I realized what I'd asked. I probably turned five shades of red. I apologized and he laughed and said, "No problem, I get asked that a lot."


"Hunting Politics are stupid!" - Farm Hunter

"Bible says you shouldn't put sugar in your cornbread." Dustin, 2013

"Best I can figure 97.365% of the general public is a paint chip eating, mouth breathing, certified dumbass." BCLC, 2020
Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: tfd1224] #1436106
09/01/15 09:10 AM
09/01/15 09:10 AM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,189
Lamar
F
Fishduck Offline
6 point
Fishduck  Offline
6 point
F
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,189
Lamar
Got lucky & hit a hot turkey one morning at daylight on a new property. He was gobbling at crows, frogs, crickets & everything else in the world. I sat down & called. He triple gobbled back at me. So I sat still & he continued to gobble. After an hour I moved up 100 yards. Called again with same response. Every time I called, he answered but never came closer. Turkey was in a field over the line. After 3 hours moving & calling I was 10 yards from the landline & the field he was in. I sat down & gave him a ton of cutting, purring, leaf scratching, yelps and even a gobble or two. He answered every time but never moved. So after 4 hours working this bird I finally slipped to the edge to get a look at the vocal Einstein that had outsmarted me. There in the backyard of a house was a big, mad, white turkey in a pen. I went home!!

Re: Embarrassing stories [Re: Fishduck] #1436115
09/01/15 09:18 AM
09/01/15 09:18 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 41,957
UR 6
top cat Offline
Freak of Nature
top cat  Offline
Freak of Nature
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 41,957
UR 6
Well the highlights:
6th grade,
page from a Playboy,
open bedroom door,
mom came home and I didn't hear the door,
you do the math blush


LUCK:::; When presistence, dedication, perspiration and preparation meet up with opportunity!!!
- - - - - - - -A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have. Thomas Jeferson - - - - - - - -
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