At 12:30..... I'm so stinking hungry right now and this prep has got me running to the toilet every 5 mins. I'm just trying to decide on the restaurant I'm going to go to tomorrow after my appointment and what food I'll feast on. beef bullion and jello ain't cutting it!

I got on the toilet once I started the prep and for about 3 or so hours stayed there.

Let's change the subject. Mine is scheduled for a few weeks from now.

No biggie especially since my results were good. Just a real chore and about as embare as sing as can be.

Yep, had three so far. Perp is the only bad part. Just sit down, start, read and have the Mrs ready to bing your next drink and another roll...............

I've posted this before, but you got to read Dave Barry's column about this.

http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html

Here's an excerpt---

"I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, ``HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BUTT!''

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called ''MoviPrep,'' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes -- and here I am being kind -- like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, ''a loose watery bowel movement may result.'' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet."

This stuff right here will have you able to chit through a screen door.

That Dave Barry detail is hilarious ..... and accurate! I'm overdue for my 3rd or 4th one and gonna schedule it in a few weeks. I'm always hungry as a starving Ethiopian afterwards

Don't sweat it too much. I had it done a few months ago. The fretting was the worst part, really. The physician and nurses have seen it all before. But I did feel a little violated after the drugs wore off.

Good Luck, I am doing the Deed Thursday for the 3 rd. time.

I'd think long and hard about raising my leg and ripping one for the next week or so.

I thought I was going to be buried in a shoe box

For those visiting and thinking of joining here...yes we really discuss everything.And good luck&health to our colonscopist folks.

This will be my second one coming up and the first wasn't bad. The liquid diet and the prep were the worst part, specifically, the hunger and the worry that the prep is not actually finished when you think it is. Since I live an hour from the procedure site, I carried a 5 gallon bucket with me. Thankfully, I was fretting over nothing and the bucket remained unused that day.

A heads up, my next one is set for June 23, so if you see a 5 gallon bucket sitting on the side of Hwy 80 between Selma and Montgomery that day, just leave it be.

I've had 5 done. I'm only 32. The prep now ain't chit to what it used to be. I was 14 when I had my first one done. They gave me this clear liquid that was in one ounce bottles. I only had 2 of them and thought it can't be that bad. You mixed 1/4 of the bottle to a bottle of water. No big deal. I chugged the bottle down and it was horrible. So I thought. Before I made it in the living room it hit. I spent the rest of night in the bathroom. At one point my a$$ was dry heaving so bad it pulled my eyes back in my head. Didn't even know that was possible. But I had to drink water between each dose. By the end of the night it seamed that I could turn up a bottle of water and it didn't even have time to warm up on the way out. Worst part was after everything was done when I'm leaving the hospital. I walk out in the main lobby and their sits the uab cheer squad apparently in for physicals. I'm standing there in my pajama pants bow legged with my hair all jacked up like I had just been rapped. To this day I swear all those girls knew what had just happened.

Aww crap.

Yep that's what I got. Just woke up and almost didn't make it haha

Clarkgriswold, that's freaking hilarious! Thanks for the read!

I told them to take some of my copay and buy better toilet paper. The place I went had only one commode in the bathroom and it was being cleaned when we got there.

Yep, that's the stuff.

After I had to drink it, I was afraid to look behind me because I was sure I was going to see a sustained rainbow from the um, atomized activivity back there. I camped out in my shop bathroom all day instead of staying home.

That's why it's good to know the right people, get mine done 1st thing in the am, when I have it done.

I had to move a recliner from the den to in front of the bathroom door. Even with only two steps to the toilet it got pretty scary a couple of times.

Ask the doc to save any remaining scraps of your dignity he finds up there, otherwise, they just discard it all, and you'll be without.

yea I used to work in endoscopy a little bit and yea, none remains haha

Good Luck today BB! Wait till they put that scope up thru your Johnson and examine your bladder and prostate. It's not very dignified when several attractive interns are standing around
and you are the only one naked. You'll come thru this fine! Hopefully you won/t have more tests any time soon.

I guess they used a "micro" scope for that on you, huh Perch?

No Bino's for colostomy! Said it was because I was a big arsehole!

I'm talking about when they ran the scope up yer damn pecker, you idgit.

I knew what you meant shorty! It still hurts to think about that, it didn't feel any smaller than an 18 wheeler when they stuck it in.

When I drank that damned moviprep or whatever when I had mine, if I didn't lean far enough back on the shitter I had to wipe my shoulders off! That stuff don't mess around. Almost as bad as Haribo sugar free gummy bears.... almost.

I firmly believe a man can live long enough without ever shoving a garden hose up his bum.
And if I die for lack of shoving a garden hose up my bum, then I lived long enough.

Don't worry it'll be fine

Had 2 of em and the stuff they made me take was called "GoLYTELY"..ain't nothin light about it. Did you guys know that the white milky stuff they put in your veins that knocks you out is the stuff Micheal Jackson was putting through his veins to sleep everyday, and eventually kilt em.

The test is easy, studying for it sucks.

Ain't noting to it and best damn sleep I've ever had. The prep was no fun but again, I'm not doing it for me. It's for the people I love. Colon cancer ain't no joke and it's a horrible way to die but very curable if detected in time. As far as feeling anything afterwards, I did not. Now if they had taken a biopsy or something maybe that would be different.

If your comment is in jest, so be it. However, if that's truly the way you feel, I hope you change your mind.

Dr. B

Yea it went well. Great sleep, I got to eat a big meal afterwards too! Only thing so far is the gas, I've been ripping mondo farts since I woke back up haha

Glad it went well for ya. My wife is prepping for hers right now. Come to think of it I haven't seen her lately, better check on her.

Toilet paper direct from the freezer.

You should have joined the 60 day challenge

I just had my 3rd one in a year. First one found diverticulitis and cancer. Second one was to tattoo the cancer spot for the surgeon. 3rd one last week was a follow up to check things out. Things checked out good!! No more for 3 years.

That's great news about the cancer being gone. Congrats!

I'm very glad you're ok. In your avatar you look young, too young for that shucks. Glad you won that battle!

I had one about 6 weeks ago. I was 13 years overdue and had 5 polyps removed and had a biopsy taken. Praise God all came back clear. Was sore for about 10 days.
Should have never waited to have one done. Just another bone headed decision us men make!!

There was a local doctor, 59 years old, that died of colon cancer just a couple of weeks ago down here.

It's uncomfortable, and if you shart the floor it's embarrassing even if the nurses say it's not a problem and they've seen everything before, but I'll be damned if I'm hardheaded enough to not get routine checkups because of that and then battle or die from colon cancer.

Have seen two close family members die from it. It's horrible. So, y'all don't fart around and go get a checkup. If sawbones says it's time for this and that and those and these, get 'em done.

I got a ten year till next time to drink that drano diagnosis

If you shart the floor you did not prep correctly. I have had them since age 35 every 3 years due to family history. It killed my Dad at 42 and I definitely do want to go there. No reason for anyone to die of it anymore other than just not taking care of yourself and getting it done.