So, I was up in that area to look at a tract of land. Meeting the guy at a store. While I'm standing there waiting, here comes this truck flying into the parking lot. It Duke slides to a stop between the door and the gas pumps, but nowhere near being in a parking space. The truck door swings open and this Jabba the Hut looking fella comes pouring out, kind of like a swollen up slinky. He bust through the front door, and without making eye contact, much less acknowledging anyone, he continues his fat man speed shuffle toward the back of the store. As he came by I could see beeds of sweat big enough to drown a cat on his forehead.

When he made the turn down the aisle right there where the Funyuns & lime flavored pork rinds are, he made this rumbling/growling/death-bawl sound that didn't sound human. You could see biggun's eyes widen, and he started his Lamaze breathing, that itself was loud enough to hear all over the store.

Now having the full attention of everyone in the store, without slowing down, he reaches out and grabs the doorknob to the bathroom, but the door doesn't open, and he avalanches into it. Seemed like a good 2 seconds between when his belly hit the door and his back stopped moving forward.

Whether it was the shock of the door not opening, or the force of his impact with a door clearly marked Pull, the race was over and his sweatpants and crocks were ruined as an odor of gutshot hog and death fogged the store.

He was understandably none too social when he emerged from the bathroom and made the shuffle of shame back out to his truck that still had its door open, with the don't forget your keys chime still chirping, so I didn't catch his name. But sure sounds like it could have been this Grizzly fellow.

Almost makes me want Facebook too....almost