Can't say anything that hasn't been done by folks who know what they are talking about but I just wish you the best with it all.

You have to be back up. YOUR WIFE is in charge of her kids, not you.

You have to get it under control now before they get older. They'll appreciate it later in life.

Is your wife present when you are the one disciplining the kids? The reason I say this is that if they think Mom is a pushover when you are not around you need to put a stop to that. They do not need to see it as what you do and what she does, but what both of you will do if something is not done correctly. The longer you let that happen the worse it is going to get.

I have no advice to offer but I did send a prayer up for you. I think you are doing the most important part of the parenting role and that is trying. Those children will recognize that and truly love you for it one day. Just stay the course with them because you haven't even gotten to the tween years when hormones start kicking in. God bless you for being the man their father isn't.

Your wife is gonna have to whip some ass. End of story.

Do not take parenting advice from holywud either.

Well said, have patience and stay the course. it wont fall in place overnight. Backup mom's authority.

You may not think it now but what you are doing they will appreciate later. They may be in there 20's when it happens but it will. Do stuff with them and just them like they were your own but straighten them out when you need to.

you stepped into the same situation my step dad did 30 something years ago, I won't ever forget the 1st lesson he taught me, I used to tell mom that I would go live with dad if I didn't get my way, the first time I tried this after their marriage he said" you want me to go call him?". That stopped that. So if you are patient, firm, consistent, and loving,it may take time but you will get through to them. He and my mom are no longer married but when I think of a dad he is the one that come to mind.

I know exactly where you're at. I'm moving into a place with 4 boys that don't share my last name this weekend. Prayers sent for you...

Exactly. As long as she's a pushover, whether she realizes it or not, she's setting you up to be the asshole step dad enforcer. She can still have a soft heart and be a firm disciplinarian.

Why are there pics of Hollywoods kids posted?

He puts them in a shirt together for some reason, can't remember... to make them get along I think

Make it exciting. Give specific orders and then say I'm going to time you. Look at you watch and say "ready,set, dang my watch messed up", if you look up and you have their attention yell "GO!" It even works on some adults.

I recommend doing a little research on ADHD. This is as tough for the kid to deal with as it is for parents. Children with ADHD not only have a hard time focusing/remembering things but in their world its kind of a live for the moment thing which is why some kids hurt others and don't realize what they have done. In their mind they have done something and already moved on mentally to something else and have forgotten what was done. Kids with ADHD can also be very good at problem solving which was demonstrated by her having her brothers help her clean her room. She was doing what you said to do and if you didn't give direct instructions that 'she' cleans it without any help, then in her mind her asking for help was ok. Sometimes you have to sit back and try to relate to what a child with ADHD feels. For that kid, it's always about getting into trouble, even when they don't mean to. Things to try are, be specific in what you ask, touch her shoulder or back to get her attention when asking her to do something which will help bring her back to the moment and lastly, try to realize this child just needs extra time and help.
I think researching more on the topic would help everyone in your family...good luck!

If your wife won't stand up to her kids. GET OUT now

What KY buck said. You don't need to go anywhere. Call me if you need to.

Someone once told me getting old is not for sissies. Well guess what, being a good parent is not for sissies either. Take a big step back and regroup, I get the feeling you are not a whole lot of fun.

Being a father or step-father is tuff. My deal is simple...follow the rules and no punishment or belt. Sometimes after the belt or punishment they want speak to me for a while (weeks)....yes it hurts and tears flow in privacy. I'm not their friend, I'm there Dad (parent). Tuff love is not easy....but I can only hope it will help them in the long run of life lessons and learning right from wrong. You earn what you get in just about everything you do. The seeds you sow and how you sow...you will reap later. Good luck !